So I've decided to kick off a new blog thread here. With some big changes from the way I did things with my old one.
I'm finding that I have a lot of things to work through and process when it comes to stuff like socializing and sex. Decades of mixed messages or flat-out negative ones implanted some pretty deep negative impressions, and left me with serious gaps in understanding when it comes to some parts of what Reverie refers to as "humaning." I don't human well. I'm working on it.
So mostly what I'm planning to do here is processing. I'm open to feedback. Some of you know I don't always understand things "everyone knows" about social interactions, and I have a lot of refining and redefining to do in my thoughts and views about sex. Unlike before, I won't be venting and ranting here; I've set up a private journal for that. This is meant to be just a processing spot, and if anyone sees something I'm saying that they have an idea or opinion about, please feel free to share. I learn from others.
I'm only planning to mention other people here if it's directly related to what I'm blogging about. (For example, "my boyfriend and I went to karaoke, and this other person said something upsetting, so here's how I feel about it.") I won't be discussing anyone's personal life except my own. At my boyfriend's request, I won't be using a nickname here for him, just calling him "my boyfriend"; if anyone remembers the nickname I used for him previously, I ask that you *not* use it now. I will still be using the same nicknames for Hubby and my offspring, who have okayed it.
Also, my boyfriend and Hubby have my full consent to read this blog, or ask me or someone else to read it to them. This is partly because I want to make sure I don't cross comfort zones with the things I post, and partly because we don't know who "outed" my blog last time. In case that person or someone else decides it'd be fun to do it again, I want to make sure boyfriend and Hubby are fully aware of what I've posted. They aren't going to censor me, or tell me what I can and can't post other than as directly relates to them. (Using my above example, my boyfriend might say "Instead of saying we went to karaoke, I'd prefer you just say that we went out." And he actually knows I'm planning to mention karaoke here, in case anyone's wondering.)
I really hate having to put so many contingency plans into place. It sucks ass that on a forum where I used to feel very comfortable, and had a level of trust with the posters in general, I now feel suspicious and uncomfortable, and don't really know who I can and can't trust. Such is the nature of the internet, I guess.
And one final thing, because this grates on me: I am neither crazy nor dangerous. Nor is anyone else with diagnosed mental illnesses. I have medical conditions that sometimes interfere with my perceptions or reactions; I am fully aware of this and use the tools I have to sort through those perceptions and figure out where the disconnect is. My previous blog was one of those tools; this one will probably not be. But unless you're a spider, ant, or mosquito, I'm not dangerous, and mental illness, even when it affects one's perceptions, is not "crazy." If your opinion of someone with anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc. is that they're "crazy" and "dangerous," fuck you. Stay off my blog.
That's about as ranty as I'm gonna get...I just needed to get that off my chest.
I'm finding that I have a lot of things to work through and process when it comes to stuff like socializing and sex. Decades of mixed messages or flat-out negative ones implanted some pretty deep negative impressions, and left me with serious gaps in understanding when it comes to some parts of what Reverie refers to as "humaning." I don't human well. I'm working on it.
So mostly what I'm planning to do here is processing. I'm open to feedback. Some of you know I don't always understand things "everyone knows" about social interactions, and I have a lot of refining and redefining to do in my thoughts and views about sex. Unlike before, I won't be venting and ranting here; I've set up a private journal for that. This is meant to be just a processing spot, and if anyone sees something I'm saying that they have an idea or opinion about, please feel free to share. I learn from others.
I'm only planning to mention other people here if it's directly related to what I'm blogging about. (For example, "my boyfriend and I went to karaoke, and this other person said something upsetting, so here's how I feel about it.") I won't be discussing anyone's personal life except my own. At my boyfriend's request, I won't be using a nickname here for him, just calling him "my boyfriend"; if anyone remembers the nickname I used for him previously, I ask that you *not* use it now. I will still be using the same nicknames for Hubby and my offspring, who have okayed it.
Also, my boyfriend and Hubby have my full consent to read this blog, or ask me or someone else to read it to them. This is partly because I want to make sure I don't cross comfort zones with the things I post, and partly because we don't know who "outed" my blog last time. In case that person or someone else decides it'd be fun to do it again, I want to make sure boyfriend and Hubby are fully aware of what I've posted. They aren't going to censor me, or tell me what I can and can't post other than as directly relates to them. (Using my above example, my boyfriend might say "Instead of saying we went to karaoke, I'd prefer you just say that we went out." And he actually knows I'm planning to mention karaoke here, in case anyone's wondering.)
I really hate having to put so many contingency plans into place. It sucks ass that on a forum where I used to feel very comfortable, and had a level of trust with the posters in general, I now feel suspicious and uncomfortable, and don't really know who I can and can't trust. Such is the nature of the internet, I guess.
And one final thing, because this grates on me: I am neither crazy nor dangerous. Nor is anyone else with diagnosed mental illnesses. I have medical conditions that sometimes interfere with my perceptions or reactions; I am fully aware of this and use the tools I have to sort through those perceptions and figure out where the disconnect is. My previous blog was one of those tools; this one will probably not be. But unless you're a spider, ant, or mosquito, I'm not dangerous, and mental illness, even when it affects one's perceptions, is not "crazy." If your opinion of someone with anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc. is that they're "crazy" and "dangerous," fuck you. Stay off my blog.
That's about as ranty as I'm gonna get...I just needed to get that off my chest.