Dealing with "Outsiders"

Katastr0ph1k

New member
How do others do it?

Example; the Wifey had a bunch of medical appointments, two days in a row. Hubs went with her the first day. She had to change all her emergency contacts because they still had her deceased husband listed (it's been a year and a half since he passed). When asked what her relationship was with us (whom she listed), she hesitated and they listed me as her sibling and Hubs as my husband (that part isn't technically wrong).

When I went with her the next day, I asked if she was alright with that. She said she wasn't thrilled, and I told her I wasn't. She went back and had them change Hubs and I both to be listed Partners. The woman changing the information made the statement "that's unconventional", but left it at that.

When Wifey accompanied me to the doctor (it's been a helluva couple of weeks, lemme tell ya!) the nurse asked what our relationship was. This is a nurse that I have seen at almost every appointment for the last year. We immediately just said 'we're Sister-wives' (even though that's not what we really are, we know, I have LDS friends) as the quickest and easiest explanation. She was totally okay with that.

So we've had mixed reactions. I'm curious what others do, or if we're abnormal in being so open about things, and what kind of reactions you get. I should also state that I'm in a rather poly-friendly area (greater Seattle).
 
I follow the kiss principle.

I tell the truth and keep it simple. It is just easier.
 
I just say sam is my boyfriend, nate is my husband. It doesn't matter to me what others think. Sam doesn't care if people know I'm married, we work for the same small company and everyone knows we are a couple and that I'm married, people might think it's u conventional but we've never had issues with anyone
 
On my passport renewal, I listed Auto as a reference, relationship as partner. I had to establish that we weren't common-law, otherwise she couldn't be a reference (no family). It was fun going through it with the passport lady, that we weren't common-law because we don't live together, and besides I already have a husband, but no not business partner. I just said we're non-traditional and left it at that. She shrugged and went on with the form.
 
At the doctor's office, I have DarkKnight listed as my husband, and PunkRock as my partner. After we get married next week, the next time I go in to see the doctor, I will update my info, and he will too.
 
Snowbunny is reluctant to out us and will often call herself a "friend of the family" to me. But if the subject comes up in conversation between a doctor and me, Snowbunny and I will inform the doctor of our unconventional relationship (our V with Brother-Husband). Most of the doctors have reacted well to the news, though one or two remarked, "I could never do that."
 
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