I'm in a 3-year relationship where my frustration with CP (couple privilege) is really the only major issue.
My partner is woke on the issue, and they and their other partner discuss it.
However-- it's still there in some of the harder areas to deal with (like time and barriering and living arrangements and vacations)- and I am getting frustrated, because I'm at a completely different stage.
I'm totally fine with my partner making their own choices, based on their desires. (Except for when the desire to avoid conflict is greater than the desire to treat us both well, and let people be responsible for their feelings). And I wish my met was too.
I'm feeling disgruntled and annoyed and more at there being a necessity for check in and approval and a stall while feelings are worked out surrounding my partner's desires to do things with me, resulting in temporary line-item vetos.
I might be especially frustrated because I was a newbie when I started dating and seem to have outpaced my more experienced meta in what I can be secure and generous about- meaning I know it to be doable in this time period.
And some of this stuff was on the table before, and now seems to be off. So trust is very shaky.
I value my partner. I value my meta as an extension of that, and get why the might be harder to process for her than most.
Still, it's a lot of wasted energy. Energy I would like to stop.
I wish I could just not let it bother me-- but it does.
I've got a thing about someone else having control over my life that's pretty strong, and an equally strong sense of liking and treasuring old relationships that give me joy. So I've got a two-choice dilemma- stay and go are both problematic, but stay is better.
Any advice welcomed.
My partner is woke on the issue, and they and their other partner discuss it.
However-- it's still there in some of the harder areas to deal with (like time and barriering and living arrangements and vacations)- and I am getting frustrated, because I'm at a completely different stage.
I'm totally fine with my partner making their own choices, based on their desires. (Except for when the desire to avoid conflict is greater than the desire to treat us both well, and let people be responsible for their feelings). And I wish my met was too.
I'm feeling disgruntled and annoyed and more at there being a necessity for check in and approval and a stall while feelings are worked out surrounding my partner's desires to do things with me, resulting in temporary line-item vetos.
I might be especially frustrated because I was a newbie when I started dating and seem to have outpaced my more experienced meta in what I can be secure and generous about- meaning I know it to be doable in this time period.
And some of this stuff was on the table before, and now seems to be off. So trust is very shaky.
I value my partner. I value my meta as an extension of that, and get why the might be harder to process for her than most.
Still, it's a lot of wasted energy. Energy I would like to stop.
I wish I could just not let it bother me-- but it does.
I've got a thing about someone else having control over my life that's pretty strong, and an equally strong sense of liking and treasuring old relationships that give me joy. So I've got a two-choice dilemma- stay and go are both problematic, but stay is better.
Any advice welcomed.
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