i'm in rehab for stroke, on top of ms
quite simply, i want more quality time w dh. to him a homemade meal that i can eat [diet probs], brought to rehab in plastic containers, eaten in my room SHOULD EQUAL evening out with gf, fine dining, candles, wine, dressed nicely, eating food he enjoys but my body won't allow. he says i'm counting beans and shouting unfair!! he acknowledges eating in rehab room is less, but its food that i can eat. do i take into account the hours cooking it, bringing it to me, & other caregiving stuff he does for me [definetly] as i count those beans & shout unfair? i want quality not quantity, & i feel off balanced. he insists all the caregiving beans & few special events we share = the time [nights/days] he spends w her going to restaurants i can't, seeing movies i dislike, & other stuff... he insists it's me counting beans.
am i really that off base?? a weekend of carefree fun w friend[s- consider a weekend tournament w the guys or gf weekend] is worth a weekend's worth of caregiving time mixed w watching tv & eating home cooked meals w me? really?
do i have to realign my expectations? if so, tips welcome. i feel greedy & selfish & clingy.
ALSO suddenly he's told me twice this week that he is extremely overwhelmed & really miserable w life. down deep he wants to sell the house, his car, his books, hobbies, & possessions. he'll give me the $$$, buy a cheap car, & leave gf & me behind as he starts a life elsewhere. he won't see/talk w a professional. he isn't suicidal [that's me]. i don't know what to do for him, calm him down. he doesn't know what would make things better.
he went home last night, ate popcorn & fudge, played w dog simon, & watched sci-fi movies/netflix. & hopes life is better today.
2 weeks of rehab to go, out valentine week. he asks why should that be a problem? afterall we never do anything. it's when i moved to austin to live w him before our marriage. no not important to me after 31.5 years. [so i get to imagine him on a valentine outing w out me?]
a big part of me doesn't want to go home in 2 weeks.
do i drastically change my perspective? tips on how?
i cry, ague w him, type y'all [thx] & trumblr, no paints, chat sparingly to staff, deep breathing, sleep, eat.
maybe another stroke
quite simply, i want more quality time w dh. to him a homemade meal that i can eat [diet probs], brought to rehab in plastic containers, eaten in my room SHOULD EQUAL evening out with gf, fine dining, candles, wine, dressed nicely, eating food he enjoys but my body won't allow. he says i'm counting beans and shouting unfair!! he acknowledges eating in rehab room is less, but its food that i can eat. do i take into account the hours cooking it, bringing it to me, & other caregiving stuff he does for me [definetly] as i count those beans & shout unfair? i want quality not quantity, & i feel off balanced. he insists all the caregiving beans & few special events we share = the time [nights/days] he spends w her going to restaurants i can't, seeing movies i dislike, & other stuff... he insists it's me counting beans.
am i really that off base?? a weekend of carefree fun w friend[s- consider a weekend tournament w the guys or gf weekend] is worth a weekend's worth of caregiving time mixed w watching tv & eating home cooked meals w me? really?
do i have to realign my expectations? if so, tips welcome. i feel greedy & selfish & clingy.
ALSO suddenly he's told me twice this week that he is extremely overwhelmed & really miserable w life. down deep he wants to sell the house, his car, his books, hobbies, & possessions. he'll give me the $$$, buy a cheap car, & leave gf & me behind as he starts a life elsewhere. he won't see/talk w a professional. he isn't suicidal [that's me]. i don't know what to do for him, calm him down. he doesn't know what would make things better.
he went home last night, ate popcorn & fudge, played w dog simon, & watched sci-fi movies/netflix. & hopes life is better today.
2 weeks of rehab to go, out valentine week. he asks why should that be a problem? afterall we never do anything. it's when i moved to austin to live w him before our marriage. no not important to me after 31.5 years. [so i get to imagine him on a valentine outing w out me?]
a big part of me doesn't want to go home in 2 weeks.
do i drastically change my perspective? tips on how?
i cry, ague w him, type y'all [thx] & trumblr, no paints, chat sparingly to staff, deep breathing, sleep, eat.
maybe another stroke