nycindie
Active member
I am glad you stood up for yourself and are wary of your potential to back down, and I only wish for you that you stay strong in your resolve to live your life on your terms.
Also, you need to start securing some finances for yourself. If you and he have a joint account, take some and put it in a bank account that he does not have access to. Remember, just because he's working and you're not doesn't mean that you are not entitled to your share. Also, if you can get a pay as you go cellphone in your name only that he doesn't know about, it will help if it comes to a situation where you have to flee.
I know it might seem like overkill, but it really isn't, to have an escape plan in place. Think of four places you could go if you leave your home, and any people who might help you if you left. Think about people who would hold some of your personal property and clothing for you. Think about people who might lend you money, or hide your children if need be. Make plans for any pets. Have a secure place for your personal papers, such as a safety deposit box in a bank he doesn't know about or at a trusted friend's house. And also, create a false trail to throw him off until you feel safe.
See: domesticviolence.org/personalized-safety-plan/
and speakoutloud.net/helping-women/safety-tips-for-leaving-a-controlling-partner/
To see a list of psychological and physical tactics used by abusers to control or dominate their partners, see this: speakoutloud.net/intimate-partner-abuse/new-power-and-control-wheel
and this: Tactics of Coercive Control.
Also, you need to start securing some finances for yourself. If you and he have a joint account, take some and put it in a bank account that he does not have access to. Remember, just because he's working and you're not doesn't mean that you are not entitled to your share. Also, if you can get a pay as you go cellphone in your name only that he doesn't know about, it will help if it comes to a situation where you have to flee.
I know it might seem like overkill, but it really isn't, to have an escape plan in place. Think of four places you could go if you leave your home, and any people who might help you if you left. Think about people who would hold some of your personal property and clothing for you. Think about people who might lend you money, or hide your children if need be. Make plans for any pets. Have a secure place for your personal papers, such as a safety deposit box in a bank he doesn't know about or at a trusted friend's house. And also, create a false trail to throw him off until you feel safe.
See: domesticviolence.org/personalized-safety-plan/
and speakoutloud.net/helping-women/safety-tips-for-leaving-a-controlling-partner/
To see a list of psychological and physical tactics used by abusers to control or dominate their partners, see this: speakoutloud.net/intimate-partner-abuse/new-power-and-control-wheel
and this: Tactics of Coercive Control.
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