When insecurities conflict with scheduling: What do I do?

Could you be willing to clarify?

I could be wrong on some of these but I get a weird vibe.

Zed has been careful about and wants to help me grow

Is that "You can only grow with me. I don't want you getting better from abuse by sexual interaction with others. I want the kudos."

This is when I opened up the idea to Zed that I wouldn't be totally closed to the idea of staying with them both Saturday night. I know that Zed has expressed interest in this several times before and avoided pressuring me. He knows how closed and private I am sexually and doesn't want to disrespect that.

Is that "No, you can't spend your time with Cuba. Unless I might get a threesome out of it."

Is that it? :confused:

Galagirl
 
Last edited:
Could you be willing to clarify?

I could be wrong on some of these but I get a weird vibe.



Is that "You can only grow with me. I don't want you getting better from abuse by sexual interaction with others. I want the kudos."



Is that "No, you can't spend your time with Cuba. Unless I might get a threesome out of it."

Is that it? :confused:

Galagirl

Zed wants me to embrace my sexual potential because I've expressed feeling suppressed. He wants me to be comfortable with myself and my body and not embarrassed by it. He also knows I have moments of losing myself and enjoys seeing that part of me. I have trouble expressing myself like that because I'm surprised by my own power and their acceptance.

Zed and I have also discussed a three some with Cuba previously, which was something I actually brought to the table on my own. He never really brings it up, just perked up and encouraged my desire for that if I really am comfortable with it.

Zed is pretty sensitive to me and I don't feel pressured really at all. It's just something I needed to take baby steps to. And I feel Cuba is the one I'm comfortable with doing that with.
 
Thank you for clarifying.

I suggest you stick with your plan in the original post

  • Spending most of the week trying to reconnect with Zed
  • Then go spend the day you wanted to spend with Cuba with Cuba.

Galagirl
 
Welp, that was a botch.

Waited up for Cuba to get home til 3am. We spent time together until he fell asleep around 4.

Sunday I tried to get some time and requested lunch with him. He agreed but it never worked out because he was with friends.

Went to the final comedy show with him where he ended up offering a ride home to the same girl that raped him.

Maintained to myself for a bit before I decided to leave. I went and kissed him and asked him to text me when he made it home. He smiled and said he would.

48 hours later, I've still yet to hear from him.
But he's been quite active on Facebook.

And now he's still expecting me to come see him in two weeks.

*sigh* please tell me I'm not crazy for being upset about all of this.
 
I don't think you are crazy to be upset by all this wacky.

I do wonder if he worth your time? :confused:

CONTINUING with him might not be a good idea. All the rigamarole over this one weekend plus the prior posts where you aren't all that happy with his behaviors LDR.

You still aren't any happier.

Galagirl
 
Last edited:
I don't think you are crazy to be upset by all this wacky.

I do wonder if he worth your time? :confused:

CONTINUING with him might not be a good idea. All the rigamarole over this one weekend plus the prior posts where you aren't all that happy with his behaviors LDR.

You still aren't any happier.

Galagirl

It's a very strange feeling...I questioned for a moment what I really had a right to be upset about. Until the ride offer and lack of follow through on contacting me.

It just seems really odd that he goes out of his way for someone who has done him so terribly and yet he can't follow through on a simple text.

I don't feel like he could care one way or another if we were a thing in any way. And I have a really hard time being intimate with someone who is apathetic about me.
 
Don't justify, argue, defend or explain.

Could keep it simple. "I've been feeling meh about us for a while and this weekend pretty much underlined it for me. I am breaking up with you."

And let it be done.

Galagirl
 
That sucks Bunnielight, I am sorry Cuba let you down.
 
That sucks Bunnielight, I am sorry Cuba let you down.

Meh. Shit like this happens. I just really wasn't expecting it to be Cuba to pull something like this. I'm having a hard time being too upset because of the nature of our agreement, but at this point I really feel very disrespected. I still haven't heard from him.

I genuinely believe that he saw an opportunity to fuck Zeds wife (Zed has a reputation among the comics across the state) and ran with it. Even if that meant leading me on a bit emotionally to get there.
 
Eww, that doesn't speak well of Cuba ...
 
Back
Top