A couple of weeks ago I met Joel. We found we clicked really well, told each other lots of personal information and stories, stayed up late nights chatting over the internet or in person. Our interactions were friendly and platonic.
Lately I have found myself more sexually attracted to him. He's queer and kinky, I'd like to explore more in kink, and sharing so many conversations has created some emotional intimacy between us so I trust him well.
Still, right now for me is not the time I should be starting a new (sexual) relationship. I am still processing a breakup with another partner a few weeks ago.
Also, Joel has some mental health problems and is not dealing with them the way I would expect a potential partner - even a casual fwb type - to. (e.g. skipping counseling appointments, consuming drugs, ...)
I first read the phrase on here I think - "don't fuck fragile" and I tend to stick to that.
So my question: should I disclose my crush / attraction to him, even though I don't intend to act on it (for now)?
It feels dishonest to spend time sharing personal information and building a (friendship type) relationship when at the back of my head I am also desiring and wanting him sexually.
On the other hand, if I do say something and he asks why I'm holding back I fear that me mentioning the main reason (him not being responsible for his health currently), I am afraid that might come across as patronising / or me intruding in what is really his own business, ie. how he deals with his health.
How do I best deal with this?
-Octopus
Lately I have found myself more sexually attracted to him. He's queer and kinky, I'd like to explore more in kink, and sharing so many conversations has created some emotional intimacy between us so I trust him well.
Still, right now for me is not the time I should be starting a new (sexual) relationship. I am still processing a breakup with another partner a few weeks ago.
Also, Joel has some mental health problems and is not dealing with them the way I would expect a potential partner - even a casual fwb type - to. (e.g. skipping counseling appointments, consuming drugs, ...)
I first read the phrase on here I think - "don't fuck fragile" and I tend to stick to that.
So my question: should I disclose my crush / attraction to him, even though I don't intend to act on it (for now)?
It feels dishonest to spend time sharing personal information and building a (friendship type) relationship when at the back of my head I am also desiring and wanting him sexually.
On the other hand, if I do say something and he asks why I'm holding back I fear that me mentioning the main reason (him not being responsible for his health currently), I am afraid that might come across as patronising / or me intruding in what is really his own business, ie. how he deals with his health.
How do I best deal with this?
-Octopus