Hi from Kansas City!

StrangeMagic

New member
Hello from BBQ Land, LOL! I’m finally identifying as poly after many years of knowing that I was. I have always seen myself as part of a gay triad or quad but never had the opportunity to act on it. My first LTR of 9 years was an open relationship and we were both comfortable with that. After my partner passed in ‘91, my next LTR was a monogamous one for most of our time together but toward the end we would sometimes have a third come over to play.

Now I’m single again and have been seeing 2 guys, both in open marriages, and an occasional hookup here and there. But while I can’t take on a husband right now (I’m caring for an elderly parent), I’m craving a boyfriend of my own that I can share more than just sex with. But I really enjoy my other 2 guys and don’t want to give them up. Is that asking too much of a potential new bf?

The goal I have always had is a houseful of guys who all live and love together as a loose “collective.” Is that even realistic? I’m in my mid-50’s and want to experience my dream before I get too old to be desirable. I’d like to hear your thoughts.
 
Greetings StrangeMagic,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It sounds like what you need is (a) guy/s who is/are poly and/or okay with you being poly. I do not think that what you are asking for is unrealistic or unreasonable, I just think you will have to be patient until the right person/s come/s along. You never know what might be possible.

I'm glad that you joined Polyamory.com, it will give you an opportunity to learn a lot about poly, and you can post your thoughts/concerns/questions as you go along. I hope we can help!

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

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Welcome aboard!
 
From one Kevin to another, thanks for the welcome! I’ll browse the site and lurk a bit until I have a question or comment for someone. It feels good to finally be looking for what I really want.

K.
 
Hi StrangeMagic - and welcome to the Forum! I would guess that your dream is possible - but certainly easier said than done. I would guess the keys would lie in a careful selection of partners as well as some well understood house rules (no matter how loose you want it to be, some structure would be necessary for anything beyond simple roommates - and even that requires some structure). From what I've read about past "poly families/marriages/communes", an acknowledged leader is usually a key to success. Of course, the dynamic might be somewhat different in an gay poly family vs a straight or bi family. Interesting concept. Please do keep us posted on how things go if it works out for you.

We do have a lot of experienced poly folks here who are generally helpful and friendly - so please do feel free to post any specific questions and thoughts that you may have. The General Poly Discussion and Poly Relationships Sections are usually quite active. Best of luck on your journey! Al
 
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