Hi. I am in a monogamous, straight relationship with my partner of one year. We recently started discussing threesomes and having an open relationship. I want to tell him that I want to try poly but I'm scared of how he'll react.
I suggested the open relationship, but my partner could not handle the idea of me having sex with someone whilst he was not there, although he likes the idea of watching me. He can't stand the idea of me being emotionally attached to someone else.
We nearly had the threesome, with an ex-FWB of mine. The FWB cancelled on the day - texting me that he couldn't go through with. He didn't really like the idea of the threesome, he just wanted to have sex with me and that wouldn't be fair on me or my boyfriend, and didn't want to see me having sex with my boyfriend because he has feelings for me.
I told him not to worry, thanked him for being honest and hoping that we could still be friends.
I let my boyfriend read the texts so that he could understand what was going on. Communication and trust are really important to me so I always try to be upfront and honest.
My boyfriend told me he "doesn't like the idea of me being friends with him". I don't want to upset him or cause and arguments so I haven't spoken to my friend. I feel totally cut off from what was a good and honest friendship with someone that I could talk to openly.
Maybe I'm feeling restricted because my partner doesn't want me to talk to my friend (he never said I can't). Maybe I'm being selfish.. he says he doesn't want anyone else, so why should I drag him through all this difficulty?
But I feel very strongly that I want to try this. It'll be hard but it could be so worth it. Reading about poly I realise now that my old FWB was more important to me than I thought at the time and I feel like I need someone else in my life that I can talk to, laugh with, trust, care for and have sex with.
How do I bring it up without freaking out my boyfriend? Without him seeing me differently? Or maybe he should see me differently, because this is who I am? Is it worth the risk?
Sorry for the long explanation, any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading.
I suggested the open relationship, but my partner could not handle the idea of me having sex with someone whilst he was not there, although he likes the idea of watching me. He can't stand the idea of me being emotionally attached to someone else.
We nearly had the threesome, with an ex-FWB of mine. The FWB cancelled on the day - texting me that he couldn't go through with. He didn't really like the idea of the threesome, he just wanted to have sex with me and that wouldn't be fair on me or my boyfriend, and didn't want to see me having sex with my boyfriend because he has feelings for me.
I told him not to worry, thanked him for being honest and hoping that we could still be friends.
I let my boyfriend read the texts so that he could understand what was going on. Communication and trust are really important to me so I always try to be upfront and honest.
My boyfriend told me he "doesn't like the idea of me being friends with him". I don't want to upset him or cause and arguments so I haven't spoken to my friend. I feel totally cut off from what was a good and honest friendship with someone that I could talk to openly.
Maybe I'm feeling restricted because my partner doesn't want me to talk to my friend (he never said I can't). Maybe I'm being selfish.. he says he doesn't want anyone else, so why should I drag him through all this difficulty?
But I feel very strongly that I want to try this. It'll be hard but it could be so worth it. Reading about poly I realise now that my old FWB was more important to me than I thought at the time and I feel like I need someone else in my life that I can talk to, laugh with, trust, care for and have sex with.
How do I bring it up without freaking out my boyfriend? Without him seeing me differently? Or maybe he should see me differently, because this is who I am? Is it worth the risk?
Sorry for the long explanation, any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading.