I am in the way of their relationship escalator, are you?

My wife is in a 4.5 year relationship. It is stable, loving, and someone I care about. We were in a triad for two of those years so she is more than my metamour. We are together almost 20 years.

Every so often I know I am in the way of that relationship escalator. Some parts they want if not all including living together, raising her (metamour) kids and so on. Sometimes I become aware she (wife) is in the way. She (wife) is not as social as I am and I can not easily share my home adding another criteria for dating.

It is a balancing of the scales wanting to give her (wife) something that is not mine to give vs the threat to our relationship. Compersion vs fear. Engaging with more people has only cost us (wife and I) time and I worry sometimes it will cost a lot more.

Are you in the way?
 
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Meta is in the way, and sometimes I guess I am too.

If you have time to edit please look through the post and clarify what pronouns are referring to your wife and which to your metamour. I'm a little unsure, particularly with the living situation.
 
My two V companions are married to each other. I don't think I am in the way, but I don't want to speak for them. It should be noted that they don't want to have kids ... and I don't either.
 
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