Contraceptive advise

Base246

New member
Hi all.

Poly wife (52) would like to start fliud bonding with he partner. The doctor told her because of her age the only contraception available would be the bar that is injected under skin.

She has not taken hormone cotraception before and she is worried the bar will mess with her libido. She has always had a very high libido, it would be a shame if she lost that now.

Has anyone else experienced this?
 
Go to another doctor and get another opinion. No other option except for an implant strikes me as inaccurate. Now it could be the best option in the opinion of the doctor given your wife’s medical history. But it is literally untrue that solely because of age, an implant is the only option.

If there is no medical reason to avoid them, check out non-hormonal IUDs. They last for years and are very effective. They need to be placed by a doctor.

If your wife has avoided hormonal contraceptives all or most of her life, I’d urge her to consider staying with condoms until menopause instead of hormonal birth control. There are risk factors with hormonal birth control for older women. They are very effective but the side effects are very real and far reaching for many women. Some women can’t tolerate hormonal birth control at all. The side effects may not be worth fluid bonding.

She could also get her tubes tied. Or her partner can get a straight forward, very, very low complications vasectomy. Unless he wants children, this is the best option for everyone.
 
I had the Nexplanon (implant) and I don't think that it affected my libido (but I have been on hormonal contraception for most of my life). I agree with opalescent - get another opinion. Any of the progesterone only contraceptives should be fine. Why not get the Depo shot first and see if she likes it before getting the 3 year implant?

Non-hormonal options - copper IUD (Paragard), good for 10 years. I don't, obviously, know her history. It can be technically challenging to place if someone has never had children but there are ways to mitigate that (such as pre-treatment with misoprostol). Another option would be to be fitted for a diaphragm - with so many other options available, this has fallen out of favor, but they are still available if you can find a doc who is comfortable fitting them.
 
Get another opinion.

I got Nexplanon and I, personally, had a horrible experience. Libido wasn’t even a factor, the other side effects (constant cramping, sore breasts, and nausea) were so bad and getting worse that I had to get it out after only 3 weeks or so. I was a teacher at the time and I literally couldn’t even stand at the front of my class it was so bad. Symptoms went away completely within 24 hours after having it removed.

I didn’t have a lot of history with hormonal birth control, but it put me off of hormonal birth control completely. I had used the pill previously (both combination and progestin only) and wasn’t a huge fan (huge libido dip) but it wasn’t awful either. The Nexplanon was just a whole other kind of awful. I would never get it again, although I know my experience is probably a little unusual.
 
I'd recommend against hormonal birth control at age 52! What the hell kind of doctor is this?

Your wife is in peri-menopause. At this stage a woman's hormones, especially estrogen, are all over the place. Sometimes the estrogen shoots way up, sometimes it recedes. Periods can space out and become lighter, or can often become closer together and extremely heavy as a result. You may not be firing eggs, or you may fire more than one egg per cycle.

Excess estrogen can lead to blood clots. Estrogen in birth control pills or implants can lead to blood clots. If a woman's estrogen is spiking high from peri-menopause, and she then takes more estrogen in the Pill, she can be extremely at risk for deep vein thrombosis (blood clot in legs) or pulmonary embolism (blood clot in lungs), which is life threatening.

Doesn't your wife need to protect herself against STDs? Why not rely on condoms for both pregnancy and disease prevention?
 
Last edited:
Excess estrogen can lead to blood clots. Estrogen in birth control pills or implants can lead to blood clots.

Excess estrogen can lead to blood clots, is true. Most birth control pills contain estrogen (and the ones that don't are not very effective, less than 90%). There are NO implants (sub-dermal or IUDs) that contain estrogen (at least in the US).
 
Excess estrogen can lead to blood clots, is true. Most birth control pills contain estrogen (and the ones that don't are not very effective, less than 90%). There are NO implants (sub-dermal or IUDs) that contain estrogen (at least in the US).

I didn't know that. But it does increase the risk of blood clots nonetheless. I have Factor V Leiden, a blood mutation which makes me 7 times more likely to clot. I was told not to use Depo Provera, or any birth control pill containing estrogen.

I went on birth control pills in my early to mid 40s and ended up with deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolism. No doctors check women for blood clotting mutations before recommending hormonal birth control pills or implants. Estrogen pills cause you to be 7 times more likely to clot. So did my blood mutation. I was walking around like a ticking time bomb, 49 times more likely to clot.

I made sure my teen daughters were tested for this inheritable disease. My mentally ill daughter was found to have it. She was/is sexually active. I told her people like us shouldn't take hormonal birth control pills containing estrogen. Or Depo Provera (which I assumed contained estrogen.) It was recommended we only take progesterone "mini pills." But being mentally ill, she forgot this advice, and got Depo Provera, which was also advised against by my endocrinologist and hemotologist. I see it can cause blood clots despite being progesterone only. It also made my crazy daughter even crazier. So she got it removed. Your likelyhood to clot increases with age. I'd been on BCP pills in my teens and early 20s with no clots. But no woman in their 40s or 50s should go on hormonal birth control without deep caution.
 
Last edited:
I didn't know that. But it does increase the risk of blood clots nonetheless. I have Factor V Leiden, a blood mutation which makes me 7 times more likely to clot. I was told not to use Depo Provera, or any birth control pill containing estrogen.

I went on birth control pills in my early to mid 40s and ended up with deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolism. No doctors check women for blood clotting mutations before recommending hormonal birth control pills or implants. Estrogen pills cause you to be 7 times more likely to clot. So did my blood mutation. I was walking around like a ticking time bomb, 49 times more likely to clot.

I made sure my teen daughters were tested for this inheritable disease. My mentally ill daughter was found to have it. She was/is sexually active. I told her people like us shouldn't take hormonal birth control pills containing estrogen. Or Depo Provera (which I assumed contained estrogen.) It was recommended we only take progesterone "mini pills." But being mentally ill, she forgot this advice, and got Depo Provera, which was also advised against by my endocrinologist and hemotologist. I see it can cause blood clots despite being progesterone only. It also made my crazy daughter even crazier. So she got it removed. Your likelyhood to clot increases with age. I'd been on BCP pills in my teens and early 20s with no clots. But no woman in their 40s or 50s should go on hormonal birth control without deep caution.

All hormonal birth control has to carry the "black box warning" from the FDA regarding increased risk of blood clots, by law (even though estrogen is the more significant culprit). Factor V Leiden is a fairly common clotting disorder, which is not screened for routinely (as was your experience). BUT, it should be noted, that even people withOUT clotting disorders can develop DVT/PE on OCPs - the rate is approximately 1 in 10,000 but it does happen.

But no woman in their 40s or 50s should go on hormonal birth control without deep caution.

True. I would say that any woman over 35, particularly if she smokes, should NOT take estrogen, period. Progesterone should be discussed. It should, however, be noted that pregnancy increases the risk of clots FAR MORE than hormonal birth control = and has a LOT more ramifications than having to take an anticoagulant!
 
Last edited:
I used the rods when they were new on the market. They didn't last four years before I got them removed because I was spending about half the month with some level of bleeding.

Then more research came out saying that they're only really effective for those under 70kg. Well that's not me.

I'd really recommend a second opinion.. There are so many options out there.
 
Hello Base246,

I am not a doctor, but I would think that just about any form of contraceptive would be doable at just about any age. I am not very familiar with the bar and do not know how likely it would be to reduce one's libido. I agree with what the others are saying, get a second opinion with a different doctor.

Regards,
Kevin T.
 
Absolutely your wife could see another healthcare provider for better information. I don’t know where you are located, but here in the US there are several other options that your wife’s age alone wouldn’t rule out. I use a Mirena (hormonal) IUD, and have been very happy with it (I’m on my second - they last five years, and I had a planned pregnancy in between them). I will continue it (with one more replacement) until age 55. I have had no libido issues with Mirena. I did have lower libido with Depo-Provera when I was in my 30s, which was when I switched to Mirena.

Besides implants and Mirena, there are non-hormonal IUDs, surgical sterilization, progestin-only pills, and diaphragms and other barrier methods (though the desire to fluid bond may mean some of these are already not preferred). Maybe none of these others fits your wife needs, but age alone shouldn’t rule them all out.

Here is a resource your wife might explore: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/online-tools/what-right-birth-control-me
 
I have Mirena and it's been awesome for me. A bit of spotting a few times a year, otherwise basically no bleeding. It's got hormone though, but only in the uterus not system-wide. But as mentioned above, non-hormonal IUDs may also be possible. I've heard some horror stories about punctured uterus and other mishaps, and it is a possible risk, but it's very rare especially if placed by an experienced specialist.
 
I've always been happy with condoms and still am, but many years ago I had a girlfriend who was honest and she said she wanted to stop using them as she liked the feel of "cum" inside her (sorry to be up front in language). That changed my opinion of why condoms don't always work.

Then a few years later my wife also failed to use condoms with a luckily safe and long term partner, and after discussion it was for the same reason...she said she liked/wanted to be cum in. I always thought it was only men who objected and complained about condoms but have since also met a few other women who have the same attitude...its good to be safe but with a safe partner they like to be cum in. I'm struggling here with PC language but hate the phrase "fluid bonding".

So in our case we have/had a different arrangement. If my wife has a safe and trusted partners she does not use condoms but not being young and with a family history of breast cancer uses the low dose progesterone only pill which is slightly less effective (still 99%) than the combined pill containing oestrogen and we have had no problems in terms of accidental pregnancy (or STDs, but as I said it is with safe and trusted partners, otherwise it's condoms). This pill has far less side effects.

However, from my side at the age of 41 I had a vasectomy. I lived in the UK at the time and used a NGO that specialises in contraception for the operation. It was ultra modern and slick. I literary went to a high street clinic after lunch. It took about five minutes using local anaesthetic , and it was all with lasers and high tech. The cut was tiny. I had to wait an hour to check there were no side effects and I drove home. Next day I was back in work. Everything works the same. No scars, No pain. Sadly in France where I live now they are not common (unlike the UK) for many years were illegal, are still seen as not masculine.

Personally I would say if its possible go for a vasectomy for the man every time, rather than the women taking hormones or putting an IUD in her uterus.
 
Last edited:
Iub

Hello!

I have the Intrauterine ball, a copper thing inside my uterus for a month now and I am super ok with it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkX6N0GwnSg

I am not ok with taking hormones and also the T-shaped IUD pokes stuff inside you and could be more painful. The IUB is spherical, hormone-free and lasts up to 5 years.

My now ex said he does not feel discomfort while we had sex, I rarely do either. Like, yes, if somebody is fucking me super hard and is circumcised and does a lot of back and forth, yes, eventually I feel a little pain but other than that I have nothing to complain about. First menstruation was a bit more floody but in general I think it is worth it.
 
Back
Top