Why is spirituality and polyamory linked?

rdos

New member
I've developed a neurodiversity quiz for about 10 years, and finally got it published last year. However, in the new version (which has polyamory as one of the questions), it seems like polyamory is closely linked to private relgious beliefs, which really is not expected.

Anybody have a good guess why polyamory and private religous beliefs are linked? What do they have in common?
 
I guess I fully don't understand the question. Is your quiz showing you data that people in poly relationships or who identify as poly are also in certain religions?

It has been my experience the pagan spiritual paths of many different varieties often intersect with poly. But it has also been my experience that spirituality and poly are two axis that may cross but do not necessarily do so.
 
How do you define "private" religious beliefs? And why did you not expect to find religious or "spiritual" people involved in polyamory? Polyamory is a practice that many types of people engage in - did you think there is only a certain kind of non-religious or non-spiritual person who would be attracted to living polyamorously?
 
How do you define "private" religious beliefs? And why did you not expect to find religious or "spiritual" people involved in polyamory? Polyamory is a practice that many types of people engage in - did you think there is only a certain kind of non-religious or non-spiritual person who would be attracted to living polyamorously?

I actually don't define it, but rather leave it up to participants to define. However, I know this question is related to other spiritual issues as well.

The connection is not that all polyamory people have this, just that it is more common.
 
Which religions are popping up in the survey? Perhaps there's a common thread to them. Or perhaps in the next version of the survey you can expand the question to try to tap something common in there.

For example,

  • atheism
  • deism
  • theism
  • pantheism
  • panentheism
  • monotheist vs multi-god systems

and so on.

Could also try to get a sense of the individual person's faith development at the time of taking the survey regardless of the particular path they happen to follow.

Taking a stab in the dark? Since polyshipping is very DIY? I'd guess they are at least moving into stage 4 or AT stage 4. Because 4's are more ready to "diy" than stage 3 in their spiritual/faith beliefs. So it wouldn't be surprising to me to learn they are ready to DIY in other areas of belief -- like what they believe about loving/love styles, etc and what they might want for themselves there too.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fowler's_stages_of_faith_development
http://www.usefulcharts.com/psychology/james-fowler-stages-of-faith.html

I don't know how you would design the questions so they aren't "leading" but... just some ideas for things to try to measure in the surveying.

HTH!
Galagirl
 
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I actually don't define it, but rather leave it up to participants to define. However, I know this question is related to other spiritual issues as well.
I wasn't asking you about your study. I asked you what you mean by "private religious beliefs" because you mentioned it and asked us why there is a connection. If you want answers on a topic or perspective, it is generally more helpful to let people know how you define that what you're asking about so that people aren't answering about something different.

The connection is not that all polyamory people have this . . .
Well, obviously. Many, like myself, are agnostic or atheist.

. . . it is more common.
More common than what?

I don't know anything about your study, but it seems to me that you need to hone your skills in communicating clearly.
 
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I imagine that most people in general have spiritual beliefs that are important to them. And I imagine that most polyamorists share that general tendency. So, a polyamorist will often want to know how their polyamorous choices can be made in harmony with their spiritual beliefs. As far as I know, that's the link between spirituality and polyamory.
 
Of the four people in this household. 3 of us don't have or see any ties in spirituality to poly. (1 atheist, 2 agnostics) I would also say a large percentage of poly people I know are atheist. The rest would be pagan or Christian.

So I think my first reaction to your question is.. they aren't.
 
I imagine that most people in general have spiritual beliefs that are important to them. And I imagine that most polyamorists share that general tendency...

Hmmm. I don't think that should ever be an automatic assumption.

I have to agree with nycindie here...you have to be careful with assumptions. Sorry, I don't have references on hand, but I have noticed that you have to be very aware of how studies that look at the "spiritual beliefs" of populations are constructed. "Most" to me implies a significant majority - high 90s. I'd buy that "a majority of people" (i.e. more than 50%) might have spiritual beliefs that are important to them...but "most"? May depend on the culture (and the penalties for going against the grain).

When I have looked at studies in the past, the questions have seemed very biased. Along the lines of, "Which of the following religions do you most strongly identify with: list". One of the answers may be agnostic/atheist/none - but then, when you dig a little deeper, you find that many of the people that ID'd as "Christian" don't have a particularly STRONG identification with it - just that it best matches what they know. They were raised Christian, believe in "God", but don't feel that it is an especially important aspect of their lives, don't go to church, etc.

I attended a Christian church for the first 18 years of my life - every Sunday - but I wouldn't say I was "raised" Christian, since in my family questioning was encouraged rather than discouraged. I am drawn to the ideas presented in writings on "secular Buddhism" (which one could argue is a "philosopy" rather than a "religion"). If given the option I would choose atheist/agnostic/none (my preference is to ID as "a little a agnostic"). But, in actuality, none of these identifications is particularly important to me...merely a slight preference...
 
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I'm unable to be much more specific at this point since the study of religion and neurodiversity is on peer-review. But I can tell that it is not about religious identity, but more about how people are religious / spiritual. The major issue linked to neurodiversity is to prefer to construct one's own spiritual belief systems (rather than buying some ready-made religion), and about beliefs in supernatural things in general. It's also these aspects (at least the first one), that in confirmative factor analysis clusters with polyamory. The study on how to group neurodiverse traits with confirmative factor analysis will probably be sent on peer-review within half a year or so.
 
So, to sum up, you feel that polyamorists in general, are either atheist, agnostic, or have created an individualistic spiritual practice, rather than following a prescribed model of a ready-made religion.

Since poly people are going against the grain, the norm of our monogamist society, in their love-style, they also seem to have a propensity to not blindly follow a mainstream religion that endorses monogamy.

Makes sense. If you read on our Spirituality board here however, you do see devout Christians trying to come to terms with loving multiple people while still being Christian. Seems to go OK if there are 2 women loving one man, not so OK when a woman wants more than one guy though. Because, patriarchy.
 
Link

I think spirituality and polyamory are linked because spirituality is a type of intercourse.

For me spirituality is my most honest attempt to be introspective.

I am very particular about who I open up with spiritually. I would hope to be as particular about who I open up with emotionally and physically.

I found this article that interested me that discusses the different types of love and intercourse

http://thankingthespoon.com/2013/03...otional-intellectual-practical-and-spiritual/
 
Fascinating,I would like to see it after peer review. My mother tried to bring me up Lutheran, but as a child I did not believe and eventually became a reform Jew, all by myself. I had always wondered about polygamy, but pushed it out of my mind. My wife is a very fallen away RC, she walked on the Church. She was given a choice between her sick mother and the Church, she was never confirmed.
She is now a Deist, if anything. Our daughter and I are not affiliated with a Synagogue, there is none convenient. But we practice the faith. We are not a religious family as we do not attend. We are all pretty much non-conforming. But the belief in a higher power is strong, just not in the hypocrisy of most established religions.
As for the introduction of polyamory, I am very much a Celt, that and Judaism are both polygamous cultures. We have opened our lives to others. From having live in girl friends to sheltering some teens that were having parent conflicts. Sort of a time out from their issues. Best part was the parents saying thanks for being there, as they know their kids were safe and we helped them re-unite with each other.
 
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Just a guess

It's possible that polyamorists who belong to formal, traditional religions simply don't identify themselves as poly, but rather as sinners, and engage in clandestine polyamory and whatever form of self-loathing and self-punishment their religions prescribe.

For the record, I'm an atheist without a hint of spirituality. In fact, I'm as skeptical of spiritualism as I am of religion, because, while it lacks the de-facto authority assumed by various major religions, it has the potential to be even more arbitrary. I have gotten the impression that I'm in the minority among polyamorists, but it may simply be that the spiritualists are more outspoken.
 
I'm atheist and do not believe in spirituality.
 
I'm atheist and do not believe in spirituality.

Spirituality
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Not to be confused with Spiritualism.

"There is no single, agreed-upon definition of spirituality. Surveys of the definition of the term, as used in scholarly research, show a broad range of definitions, with very limited similitude...."

Hey, Kdt,

We have no idea what you mean by that.

_____________________

"Spiritual but not religious" - Wikipedia
Main article: Spiritual but not religious
After the Second World War spirituality and religion became disconnected,[17] and spirituality became more oriented on subjective experience, instead of "attempts to place the self within a broader ontological context."[28] A new discourse developed, in which (humanistic) psychology, mystical and esoteric traditions and eastern religions are being blended, to reach the true self by self-disclosure, free expression and meditation.[9]
 
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For the record, I'm an atheist without a hint of spirituality. In fact, I'm as skeptical of spiritualism as I am of religion, because, while it lacks the de-facto authority assumed by various major religions, it has the potential to be even more arbitrary. I have gotten the impression that I'm in the minority among polyamorists, but it may simply be that the spiritualists are more outspoken.

"Spiritualism," as generally defined, has little or no relation to spirituality, as gnerally defined. Perhaps you know this. Perhaps not. One is obviously more superstitious than the other -- to a non-superstitious eye and ear. ... Yes, I get it, in these days of "Whatever," no reason or rationality need apply. But I myself draw an important line between superstition and "spirituality".
 
Re (from River):
"Hey, KDT ... we have no idea what you mean by that."

I don't believe in anything spiritual. In any way. Basically, if it's got the word "spirit" in it, I don't believe in it. The only spirits I believe in are the alcoholic kind. :)

I don't have a soul. I'm not going to be alive after I die. That's what I believe. If you want to redefine words so as to fit that belief, I may accept them as a hypothetical.
 
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