Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #121  
Old 06-27-2010, 02:26 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 3,724
Default

LOL! You're cute, let's shag!
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
Reply With Quote
  #122  
Old 06-27-2010, 02:30 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
LOL! You're cute, let's shag!
...well I do like aggressive women ..
Reply With Quote
  #123  
Old 06-27-2010, 02:33 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 3,724
Default

Heh. I can also be quite submissive, sometimes both in the same session. Things I learned in kindergarten: sharing means caring! (see my recent post on the BDsM thread.)

Actually, I am assertive, not aggressive. I am much too nice and nurturing to be aggressive. I watch body language and check in with the bottom often when topping, to make sure everything is cool.
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
Reply With Quote
  #124  
Old 06-27-2010, 02:36 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Heh. I can also be quite submissive, sometimes both in the same session. Things I learned in kindergarten: sharing means caring!

Actually, I am assertive, not aggressive. I am much too nice and nurturing to be aggressive. I watch body language and check in with the bottom often when topping, to make sure everything is cool.
When I use the term aggressive, I do mean assertive. I just prefer the sound of the term...it rolls off the tongue better

The same way I prefer my subs bratty. I don't want them to throw hissy fits and whine and complain...but I do like a fight
Reply With Quote
  #125  
Old 06-27-2010, 02:42 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 3,724
Default

Quote:
aggressive

1.
characterized by or tending toward unprovoked offensives, attacks, invasions, or the like; militantly forward or menacing
2.
making an all-out effort to win or succeed; competitive
3.
vigorously energetic, esp. in the use of initiative and forcefulness
4.
boldly assertive and forward; pushy
I am not pushy, competitive or menacing. I guess def #3 is me.

I see that dictionary.com says aggressive is a synonym for assertive, but I definitely see a distinction.
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
Reply With Quote
  #126  
Old 06-27-2010, 02:52 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872
Default

There are different degrees of aggression. I think its one of those words that can be taken to an extreme. With such a potential range in impact of meaning some people won't like it.

Assertive I think is on the "nicer" side of aggression
Reply With Quote
  #127  
Old 06-27-2010, 02:59 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 3,724
Default

I guess we've derailed this thread long enough! Back to the OP... I can get into somewhat casual sex b/c I am sociable, flirty and sexually rather insatiable. I can match my 20something boytoys, even out-do them on a regular basis, and still have plenty left for my gf when I get home.
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
Reply With Quote
  #128  
Old 07-04-2010, 05:57 AM
immaterial immaterial is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Arizona
Posts: 133
Default

This is a wonderful, erotic thread. It's interesting to read it from beginning (flirtation and foreplay) to end (thundering whole body orgasms), with a few blow jobs and some cunnilingus, handjobs and soaked towels strewn along the way.

I'll endeavor to bring everyone down with a few not-so-erotic words. Think of me as Artemis, not Aphrodite, except I'm a guy, so Hermes, not Pan. Or something like that.

I don't know how people define "casual sex." Is that like asking for a definition of "blow job" or more like a definition of "obscenity"? Are we supposed to know it when we "see" it? I like how YGirl wrote about having casual sex with her husband. I have had sig others say to me "you know, we could just fuck, it doesn't have to be a big production." This speaks to my confusion, I guess.

So, is casual sex the physical acts of sex but without emotional connection? Without tenderness? Without intimacy and connection? Without commitment? Without without without? Can it only be negatively defined? If so, does it even really exist in pure form?

I am still figuring all of this out, but it seems sex is a wonderfully expressive, creative, surprisingly sensual and intense reality. I'm not sure what casual sex would be like. Like shaking hands? In other words, like a physical exchange but with no feeling, not even really pleasure?

I'm interested in these questions because at the moment in my experience, "casual sex" seems as mythical as the fabled Unicorn. I have always met another human being when sex has been happening involving me. (haha, what a sentence). I haven't really had casual sex, I guess. Ever. Even when I was paying for it. My partners might have, but I didn't. It's odd to realize this.

If any women from the forum are traveling through Phoenix and want to pop my casual sex cherry, send me a private message. :-)

Immaterial
Reply With Quote
  #129  
Old 07-04-2010, 08:05 AM
booklady78 booklady78 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 145
Default

Hmm... I'm not entirely sure how to define 'casual' sex now. I had assumed that it meant sex with someone you didn't know, but that doesn't seem to fit. Would casual sex mean the difference between 'making love' and sex that's just for fun? Sex without the deep, emotional connection?
If you have recurring casual sex with someone, does any kind of bond develop that turns the 'casualness' into something else?
__________________
"There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them." - Ray Bradbury
Reply With Quote
  #130  
Old 07-04-2010, 08:16 AM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,639
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by booklady78 View Post
Hmm... I'm not entirely sure how to define 'casual' sex now. I had assumed that it meant sex with someone you didn't know, but that doesn't seem to fit. Would casual sex mean the difference between 'making love' and sex that's just for fun? Sex without the deep, emotional connection?
If you have recurring casual sex with someone, does any kind of bond develop that turns the 'casualness' into something else?
For me it would...

sex is bonding for me. Whether it is for fun with an on going intimate friend or the deep love and connection I feel with my loves. It is connecting and brings me closer to people in my life that I chose to share myself with.

Casual sex to me is sex that is with someone that I don't know, don't care to know better, and would be in terms of thinking "meh, you seem alright, i will give my body to you to masturbate into and I will use yours for the same."

I guess it could be seen as a quicky, or a fun light hearted jaunt with someone I love.... hmmmmm?
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
casual sex, sex, sex-negative, sex-positive, sexual, sexuality

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 02:09 PM.