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  #81  
Old 03-02-2014, 04:33 PM
bofish bofish is offline
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Thank you SC. You are right.

You're discussing the most controversial topic on the face of the earth

Why is treating disabled people like human beings so damn controversial ? Darn it! It should be easier.

I go back to my original thought. The abled-bodied are terrified of disability. Of what they see as loss of control. I need to be more empathetic and realize that takes a lot to get over and is a true weakness.

Last edited by bofish; 03-02-2014 at 04:40 PM.
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  #82  
Old 03-02-2014, 05:14 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Originally Posted by bofish View Post
Why is treating disabled people like human beings so damn controversial ? Darn it! It should be easier.
Oops, I got this thread mixed up with the abortion one. That's what I meant by controversial. Disabilities being controversial is just stupid. People are people. All people are different, some just more visibly than others. I agree, it should be easier. Ignorant people suck.

Now that I'm realizing this is your blog, you actually have a lot of control here. You can request that moderators delete posts that you do not feel are constructive. Blog rules only.
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  #83  
Old 03-02-2014, 05:23 PM
london london is offline
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Maybe true strength is recognizing ones limitations.

I'm not trying to change your mind about what you would do if you found your unborn baby had a disability. Except I recommend you follow UK style prenatal screening to have the safest birth possible. I guess I'm trying to say that without knowing the complete circumstances of each person in the stats you provided, you can't possibly determine whether the abortion was justifiable by even your own standards.
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  #84  
Old 03-02-2014, 05:27 PM
london london is offline
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I thought this was the abortion thread too. My bad
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  #85  
Old 03-02-2014, 05:29 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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I'm not trying to change your mind about what you would do if you found your unborn baby had a disability.
Wrong thread, london. Kindly stay on topic and respect the "safe space" rules of the Life stories and blogs subforum.
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  #86  
Old 03-02-2014, 07:09 PM
london london is offline
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As I said, I like you thought this was the abortion thread. Thank you for your moderation though. Oh wait..
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  #87  
Old 03-03-2014, 05:13 AM
monkeystyle monkeystyle is offline
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Originally Posted by bofish View Post
I go back to my original thought. The abled-bodied are terrified of disability. Of what they see as loss of control. I need to be more empathetic and realize that takes a lot to get over and is a true weakness.
I disagree. Terrified is overstating things. The disabled are in their own category, much like being white, black or mixed is it's own category. A lack of exposure to people who look or act or live differently from someone creates anxiety at not knowing how to interact or relate. Terror? No.

The best thing anyone can do who isn't part of whatever group they feel anxious or nervous around is to simply spend time getting to know a person who makes them feel that way. Children do it better than adults, who seem to lose this capacity as their minds narrow with age.

As for someone who doesn't fit in, nothing beats persistence and patience. Some people never come around, most do though.

I will say though, that the disabled don't function as their own community. There's no disabled culture, per se - or natural clustering that occurs which gives a sense of community or home that other groups enjoy. This makes it doubly hard to gain acceptance in society, as individually so many disabled people act or in fact are stigmatized, and bow to the pressure to hide or mask themselves - or to simply avoid contact period. Which increases the difficulties for those who do want to be accepted on merits, and not simply for their having a disability.

I look forward to the day when a person walks the street, being gay, disabled, beautiful, ugly or whatever - and the response from everyone is to not give a shit. When people ultimately learn to not give a damn about where a person comes from or what they look like - we'll have arrived in a better place.
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  #88  
Old 03-03-2014, 08:16 PM
bofish bofish is offline
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Thanks MonkeyStyle and i'm sorry if I misread your post about Wolf of Wall Street.

You are totally right about disability in many ways. Part of this issue is the difference in attitudes within the disability 'community."

For example, Deaf folks do not consider themselves disabled. People with congenital disabilities (like mine) see disability as an identity while people with acquired disabilities sometimes want a "cure." Autism seems to have the strongest mobilization among disabilities because that fight is led by able-bodied parents, largely, not disabled people. Different privileges exist even within one disability - for example, people with Cerebral palsy who have clear speech have more of a privilege than people with the accent. The people on TV tend to be paraplegics because they don't look disabled - they look like Noraml folks in a wheelchair.

That said, there are many groups - such as ADAPT, Not Dead Yet, and so on. There are many disability studies programs in the US and Deaf people have their own university and culture. There is a rich disability history and books by people such as Simi Lipton, Ed Roberts, Alison Kafer, and so on. People just aren;t aware of this stuff.
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  #89  
Old 09-07-2014, 09:36 PM
bofish bofish is offline
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Hello everyone,

I was very active on the list, but needed to take a break. Part of the break was the backlash I felt when discussing the issue of disability. In fact, disability has become MORE of a factor in my polylife now. Before, I was in love with someone (still am) but cannot be with them. Having cerebral palsy, I found myself deeply desexualized throughout my teens and 20s. My poly adventures have turned a little "slutty" because I am learning how to navigate my sexual power and being chased by men and desirous to men. This was not something available to me before.

I find many folks, particularly women/feminists do not understand because they have been sexualized their entire life. I'm just not finding much understanding or a voice for my experience.

Anyway, numerous people on this forum, particularly, Bad Man attacked me for my beliefs in disability power and identity. And primarily for my equation between racial issues and sexism and disability.

This means "coming out" but I had an article published yesterday which addresses these issues. I hope my detractors on this list, and in life in general will be more compassionate and finally get a sense of what I've been trying to get at…if not, o well. I did get a voice.

http://www.vidaweb.org/reports-from-...ion-in-po-biz/
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  #90  
Old 09-08-2014, 12:38 AM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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bofish,

Unfortunately the link isn't working. It just goes to a 'page not found' on that site. Can you post another link? I wanted to read it.
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