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  #131  
Old 05-15-2014, 12:31 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Intimacy definitely doesn't have to mean sex. Sexual intimacy is sex, sure. Intimacy, by itself, to me mean a deep connection and the willingness to make yourself vulnerable in front of one another. That's not always present in people who have sex, either, although many people who are sexual can use sex as a way to build up intimacy, as being naked in front of each other and controlling each other's pleasure is a very clear way to make yourself vulnerable.

Certainly not the only one, though.
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  #132  
Old 05-15-2014, 12:41 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Exactly.
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  #133  
Old 05-15-2014, 09:35 AM
rdos rdos is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post
Oh and by the way. It seems to me like demanding "romantic" instead of "intimate" is really splitting hairs. I mean, a mere glance at Wiktionary will confirm that "intimate" doesn't at all have to mean something sexual.
In ordinary people's minds it does. I know because I have researched it. Being asexual and liking intimate relationships is negatively correlated. Intimate relationships is also linked to making love, so in ordinary people's mind these are similar things.

It will give people the wrong associations.
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  #134  
Old 05-15-2014, 11:40 AM
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mmkeekah mmkeekah is offline
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"Verbal trouble"? lol I don't even know what that means. I thought you all wanted a standard definition for these words? Standard by whose standard is what I should've asked.
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  #135  
Old 05-15-2014, 05:51 PM
InsaneMystic InsaneMystic is offline
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Originally Posted by rdos View Post
Polyamory:

"The practice of building multiple intimate relationships at a time with other consenting adults."

I don't think this is a good definition, as "intimate" in most people's mind means sex, and thus this definition again excludes asexual polyamory.

I would prefer:
"The practice of building multiple attachments at a time with other consenting adults."

Or:
"The practice of building multiple romantic attachments at a time with other consenting adults."
Quote:
Originally Posted by rdos View Post
In ordinary people's minds it does. I know because I have researched it. Being asexual and liking intimate relationships is negatively correlated. Intimate relationships is also linked to making love, so in ordinary people's mind these are similar things.

It will give people the wrong associations.
I'd definitely prefer the "intimate" definition, by a big margin... and not only am I asexual, I'm one of those RA weirdos who don't think there's much any difference between "very close friend" and "partner", aside from what label feels most comfy for everyone involved to go by. To me, friendships worthy of that name (instead of just being aquaintances) are intimate relationships, and all healthy 'ships are some form of FWB.

And sorry, but "attachments" makes me shudder. That word evokes clingy, co-dependent connotations to me. Just, no.
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  #136  
Old 05-15-2014, 08:11 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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And luckily, I don't qualify as an "ordinary" person, so it's easy for me to visualize weird shiz like emotional intimacy. But whatev's; I won't argue with "romantic" as a "superior" substitute, if it's all that important.

Re (from mmkeekah):
Quote:
"'Verbal trouble?' LOL"
No, it's a real thing!

Re:
Quote:
"I don't even know what that means."
It just means (a lot of) people were ragging on me (in concert). "Stop spreading such a damaging definition for that word! Polyamory doesn't mean *this,* it means *that.*" I got lectured (at length), if you will. Didn't kill me but didn't put a cherry on top of a "perfect" day either. I learned my lesson; next time I won't bother quoting the authoritative sources, I'll just "speak from the heart."

Psshhhh; and "standard" is such a subjective word, as it turns out. Crazy.
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  #137  
Old 05-15-2014, 08:15 PM
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Oh and by the by ...

... the main objection to the definition I quoted for poly was that it granted too much leeway for swing. So we've come a full circle (apparently) and gotten back on topic (I guess) ...
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