Recent content by Carma

  1. Carma

    Forced into Poly Hell

    Poly may have had its times that were "hell" for us -- but I don't regret any of it. My husband and I ended up divorcing but it was amicable, and we are now very close friends and co-parents. We were on a journey and we were very brave to try some unconventional paths towards happiness. It was a...
  2. Carma

    The "How Are You Doing" Thread (redux)

    I've been away for quite awhile. I'll have to read some posts and see how people are doing! My poly experience is ended now but I am still processing and learning from it. I moved out in April 2012 and my divorce will be final next week. Sundance is still seeing the "cowgirl" and he continues...
  3. Carma

    Poly music

    That is so remarkable to me -- my bf heard it playing once, back when we had first embarked on our poly adventure, and he mentioned it to me. I wouldn't have really recognized it as such.
  4. Carma

    Redpepper's journey

    Wow, I haven't read in quite awhile and I am so sad for what you are going through. I don't know if anyone has mentioned this, but the TEXTING game can get out of control! It is the channel by which the other woman became a primary, where that was never supposed to happen. We had other problems...
  5. Carma

    Turnabout

    I moved out last Saturday. I don't miss all the wondering, is he talking to her, texting her, seeing her..... He lied to me so many times, it was the LIES that were making me just as crazy, as the relationship with her. It would be the same if he were drinking and hiding the bottles, or sneaking...
  6. Carma

    New and Scared

    So sorry, Bangel. My marriage is ending too. I moved out last week. It's so weird, I thought I would be the one who could share, but I couldn't. Well, not with his lying, anyway. One thing I learned through this, I was not happy in my marriage. I swept a lot of things under the rug, always...
  7. Carma

    Turnabout

    So I wasn't anticipating all this PAIN. Excruciating heartbreak. Yesterday was the worst Valentines Day I've ever had. The brother-sister thing slipped and I just found myself wanting to feel loved. Sundance brought me roses and I can't stop wishing things could be different. He tells me he...
  8. Carma

    Guilt, shame, and pride.

    Wait -- so you are not "involved" or "dating" or "sexual" with him, anymore? Because it kinda sounds like you are. And from what I read, it sounds like you deserve better. A relationship you can live and love out loud. This sounds toxic to me. There are other fish in the sea -- maybe you should...
  9. Carma

    Turnabout

    I had a sort of revelation this past weekend. To view Sundance as a brother, instead of a husband or lover. So far, it seems to be working. It frees me to love him again, to not be so jealous, or resentful, or enraged. I wouldn't go so far as to be happy for him, that he's found someone else...
  10. Carma

    New and Scared

    Hi Bangel, Sorry for you. I can relate, somewhat. We're living under the same roof while my husband carries on his wild romance with his gf. I realized that our marriage is over. It may have worked differently if Sun had been more honest with both me and his gf, but it took the course it took...
  11. Carma

    Turnabout

    True. I never thought this would actually happen. But I was awfully delusional I guess! About a lot of things. Some things others here could see so clearly. But my view was so subjective. I was operating on pure emotions. I still can get sweet-talked. Why do I let myself be so vulnerable?? When...
  12. Carma

    Turnabout

    I don't expect him to be ethical at all in a divorce or in any situation! He already told me to expect Armegeddon! While that could be a bluff, another of his bullying techniques, judging from past behaviors I'd say it's going to be ugly. He is so immature. But he is so good at smoothing...
  13. Carma

    Turnabout

    Thanks, Mag. You always cut right through all the crap. :cool:
  14. Carma

    Turnabout

    Thanks, Arrow. (And Phy:) ). It helps to have someone to share this stuff with. I have talked with many people about what is happening, but no one understands the poly dimension of it all. They think he is a cheater, plain and simple. Well, that's what he has become, with all the lying and...
  15. Carma

    Turnabout

    Sun came home at 4:30 am Friday. I had asked him in the morning to just let me know around about what time he'd be home. He said "Ok. I probably won't be that late." He never called or texted. Then Saturday night...5:30 am, SAME EXACT THING. Friday I was home with the kids. Saturday, the kids...
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