Recent content by ConfusedMonoCouple

  1. C

    Predator Poly Couples

    Honestly, she really doesn't think it's right for her to indulge her curiously when I have no desire to sleep with other woman solo (and really the groupsex was just a drunken lust thing, I have no ideological need to do it, the way she may have a need to explore what she missed out on). I'm not...
  2. C

    Predator Poly Couples

    I don't think it was predatory anymore, just hurts that people we thought were friends were so inconsiderate. They're smart people. They talked about it for months first. They knew we didn't. Its actually kind of sad now. Because we would've had that conversation in the morning, and we...
  3. C

    Predator Poly Couples

    I just read through the relevant parts of this thread. You guys gave me great advice. It was EXACTLY what we needed to do and pretty much spot on with what my counselor is encouraging. THANK YOU. It couldn't get through to me at the time. Its embarrassing to read my defenses to phantom...
  4. C

    Predator Poly Couples

    I know she's not me, but we've talked about these fantasies. I wrote out my fantasy of that night "gone right," from my perspective, as a sort of an exercise in accepting my culpability . It was much more gratuitous than what actually happened, and I'm sure we both would've felt weird after, but...
  5. C

    Predator Poly Couples

    I should clear up what I mean by my "porno fantasies." When I look back at the night without blinders on I realize I tried to engage my wife while she was jerking off or sucking off the other guy on two occasions I can remember, at which point she would focus exclusively on the other woman. I...
  6. C

    Predator Poly Couples

    Denial The sex didn't almost tear us apart, denial did. If we've learned one thing about this whole experience, it would be the amazing lengths we'll go to avoid seeing who we really are. My wife and I never talk about sex. We've never talked about it. We both have deep insecurities regarding...
  7. C

    Predator Poly Couples

    There is a lot being said about me and the couple both being a rapists. None of us are in my mind. Initiating sex with a person when their hormones and lowered inhibitions persuade them to continue, rather than their rational mind, and ignoring that they'd make a different decision, is...
  8. C

    Predator Poly Couples

    We noticed it works. It is a lot easier to blame them. We decided we're ok with it until we see a therapist. I know its fucked up but its not like we're in contact with them or we're going to hurt them. Its just to take the load off. That being said.. these people were our friends. The husband...
  9. C

    Predator Poly Couples

    I'm sorry I got so mad. I shouldn't ask questions on the Internet and expect everyone to be civil or sensitive. Thank you to the people that were just trying to give advice. We are both just so confused. We've been together six years and went from our very first mention of involving other...
  10. C

    Predator Poly Couples

    To the person from reddit. There were more things we began to remember, and my wife began to remember. Things that weren't in the reddit post. Things that would take too long to explain. I've decided it doesn't matter if they are true for me and my wife, because I forgive her no matter what. I...
  11. C

    Predator Poly Couples

    My wife and I are fairly sexually conservative people in practice. In ideology, not as much, but we've never really felt a void in our sex life; with the exception of an occasional, "We really should be having sex more for people our age." Anyways, the other night went out with a couple we...
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