Recent content by Daysleeper

One of my best friends is a monogamous guy that I have had to to tame my feelings for for the past 4 years or so. He is one of my husband's best friends from childhood. I asked him if he would be interested in dating me about 4 months ago, and he told me he has feelings for me, but ultimately...

In my experience, it's normal to have times of more and less excitement in Ltrs. Staying "in love" often means conscously working toward staying connected with your partner. Think of the people you know who have been together for 25+ years. Do they swoon when the other walks into the room? Do...

With the limited information you have given, it's difficult to offer advice. How is your relationship functioning with the partner you feel disconnected from? I understand that you care for him, but how would you describe spending time with him right now? Do you enjoy talking to him? Are you...

I think you and your wife can have whatever boundaries you want, but if it were me I'd tell people right away, like before or during asking them out. That way they don't get their hopes up. If you are not in a setting where you can explain, ask for a number or email. Tell them in the first one...

It seems as though you are reading my post as evangelisation rather than description. I thought I made it clear that I was talking about what poly means to me, in my situation, in my life. I certainly don't take the position that everyone should believe or behave as I do. Sorry if I left the...

1). I think that when you enter into a new relationship with someone, there are generally going to be things more important to them than you are. It could be a career, a relative, a friend, a hobby, or a lover. They may be open to prioritizing you over these things eventually, or they may not...

There is a ton of stereotyping about bi people: we're promiscuous, unconventional, willing to experiment, hyper sexual, our dream is to engage in group sex, we constantly crave specific sexual acts that can only be accomplished with males and specific acts that can only be accomplished with...

Take a deep breath. Imagine that you came home tomorrow and your husband was bouncing up and down with joy about something other than you. How would you feel? I'm guessing pretty good. One of the great parts of relationships is sharing in the joy of your SO. My husband is a sports fanatic...

I'm sorry you're feeling so badly. You are in a difficult situation. A small note on this topic though: to some extent, you can't choose who you are, but you can choose how you behave. It seems like you may have to choose between your husband and poly (though I think anneintherain has given...

In my opinion, the sentences are not contradictory. Part of having good communication is knowing what to say, who to say it to, and when and how. Sorting through thoughts is not something that has to be done out loud, in real time with a partner. It's often good to think through what you want...

You've received some great advice here already regarding opening your marriage and managing your feelings. My concern is a little different. It sounds as though you and your wife have had a difficult year. It's possible your wife's desire to be with other men has caused the problems in your...

It seems like your main concern is whether you are an equal partner in the relationship. From your post, it sounds like you are important to m and r. They take your feelings into consideration, show you respect and care. That's wonderful. In regards to your insecurity, I'd like to draw an...

I'd have to say that poly has made me think less in terms of "I" than I did before. I'm not more independent now. On the contrary, I have more responsibilities, more obligations. Every choice I make is going to affect more people. I can't behave as a free agent, and I don't think of myself as...

I don't know that it's such a bad thing for your husband to be looking into the future. If he's sure he won't be comfortable with you having sex or seriously dating someone, wouldn't you like to know that now? Try to think of yourself as discussing a possibility with him, rather than trying to...

Ok with cheating, but not okay with poly? I am being personally affected by this right now, so it's on my mind. Why are some people okay with cheating, but not okay with poly? My assumption was that group would consist of cheaters too afraid to be honest to their partners or accept their...