Recent content by dub1h

I think my view of poly is completely tarnished by my past experience... I actually tried to bridge some sort of friendship and wanted everyone to meet, but I was faced with animosity by guy#2, and no support from the girl I was dating... I see that it was just a bad situation, plain and...

To make a simple analogy, maybe you can agree or disagree: Through life experience someone discovers they really love apples, so much so they never try an orange. They can learn about the apple, taste every type of apple, and gain a deep appreciation for apples. But if they never try an orange...

Very realistic, very true. And thank you for validating my potential monogamy haha. I think as soon as I heard the word "polyamory" from the girl I'm dating, I immediately thought I'd need to change, or she'd need to change. Perhaps we're just in different paths, and that's okay. What I'm...

@Spork Interesting point and it's bringing up a lot of thoughts about my long term mono relationship (about 5 years). We got engaged last year and that marked the turning point leading to its destruction. I definitely took her for granted, as did she with me. We both fell into a rut where we...

I totally agree with this statement. I've gone through a lot of internal exploration to arrive at this fact as well. A lot (LOT) of reflection on a previous unhealthy dependent relationship. This is totally true for both mono and poly relationships. To play devil's advocate, could a GREATER...

As you can see from my join date, I'm not exactly new here. I'm returning because my life has brought me back to this again. I've been dating a girl for a few weeks and I caught feelings for her almost immediately. Unfortunately as our second date was winding down to drinks and cuddles, we...

tl;dr The girl started dating another guy early in our relationship, without prior warning. She already had feelings developing by the time I found out. I didn't feel like I was actually thought about when she was planning her time with the two of us. I felt like I was being phased out...

I guess what I meant by detachment was that your relationship has to be a lot more fluid. You have to be ready to adapt and compromise with whatever comes up. E.g., your partner might get invited by their other for a weekend trip. You may have wanted to spend time with them that weekend, but...

My question comes up because of a recent poly fiasco (failure?). I think that when you break poly down, the root is in the open communication and honesty, with a willingness to compromise so that everyone is happy. I think only emotionally distant people could ever have a poly relationship...

What would be the benefit of a mono person dating someone who was poly? Is the only gain to be able to spend time with that particular person, who doesn't have eyes for only you, even though that's how you feel about them?

I wonder a lot about what I could have done differently. In my mind, I felt like the only way things could work is if there was open communication between us all. Most of the people I talk to about this immediately respond with "Oh you deserve better...a girl that will focus on only you". I...

Hey Polymono, I was just in a similar situation. I felt like things were not how I actually wanted, and it was painful to be in the relationship, but just as painful to think about breaking up. Try to get a general sense of how things are going, that is, the way in which you communicate and...

Hey River, the older post you rummaged up was actually a different girl. That past relationship was a lot more focused physically. This one was a lot more emotional. That being said....I ended the relationship today. I couldn't really handle it. Do you think poly is designed more for a...

Oh man. So what do you do when you are in a poly relationship with the other guy really not being very conducive to a poly relationship to begin with? I'm trying my hardest to adapt and quell the jealousy inside me, but I can only go so far on my own. It sucks to feel like you're at the mercy of...

wow thank you so much. This is a great successful version of what's going on. And it seems Indigo, the husband is dealing with jealousy too! It's not like it's unheard of to have issues with this whole process. Thanks for the link