Recent content by ICanBeStunning

  1. ICanBeStunning

    Dealing with grief

    Thank you all, this has been very helpful. I didn't actually have this this experience before, and it was difficult for me to find the words to express myself. For my own reasons, I'm not really emotionally open, and at times this language escapes me.
  2. ICanBeStunning

    Dealing with grief

    A month ago, an important member of my family died. My emotions since have been mixed. I'm struggling with the sadness I feel, and I am less interested in seeing or even talking to the partners I do have. My interest in physical intimacy is almost completely gone. Part of this is probably the...
  3. ICanBeStunning

    Is this a common problem in the poly world or are we just picking the wrong people???

    Another thing to consider is what you, and your husband are telling your partners about each other. I had an experience where an ex would always vent to me about his wife. I spent years listening to how frustrated, and unhappy he was in his marriage. Even though strongly believe in not taking...
  4. ICanBeStunning

    Who Writes This Sh*t?

    Yes, UH stands for unicorn hunters. I've had set limits on relationships when I was way too busy with classes, and home life to handle properly nurturing a relationship. I may again with grad school. There's just something hostile about the way these articles advise you to treat others. I...
  5. ICanBeStunning

    Who Writes This Sh*t?

    Yeah, this reminds me of some of my experiences lately. After breaking off two LTRs in the same time frame, I hung out with someone who seemed to have read all that crap, and took it for gospel. I was looking for something casual, but he was so deadset on only contacting me when sex was desired...
  6. ICanBeStunning

    Finding Partners

    I'm kind of happy the thread turned into this. From what I understand, a nightcap comes after a date? Netflix is the "date." But yeah, it's pretty much one of the oldest tricks in the books. I'm now imagining the better behaved cave people using "come and look at my cave drawings."
  7. ICanBeStunning

    Finding Partners

    Haha! I'm sorry. It's such a common phrase now, that it's practically ubiquitous. I didn't really think about anyone not understanding. It's true that a lot of the people who contact me only want to watch Netflix, or otherwise laze about. Netflix and chill pretty much means come over and have...
  8. ICanBeStunning

    Finding Partners

    Honestly, what I detest about bootycalls is that they tend to go one way. There's like zero respect. To those people, I'd tell them to invest in a professional. I couldn't be interested in that much rudeness, and tactlessness. Your experiences may differ.
  9. ICanBeStunning

    Finding Partners

    Oh I see. Yes that'd be important in an FWB, and I'd want some of those things too (respect, value my time, abide my boundaries). I make sure we're friends first before I can call it an FWB situation, and friendship takes time. I don't get how that's feasible from an online ad, though I know it...
  10. ICanBeStunning

    Relationships and commitment without the escalator?

    Well how do you define as a significant investment of time, and energy? I can feel all of those things seeing someone once or more a week, to several times a year. The time I spend with them is significant, and the time I allocate to hanging out with them is a big deal for me. I don't need to...
  11. ICanBeStunning

    Finding Partners

    Thank you! I'm mostly an introvert, and I have social anxiety, but at my core I love going places, and trying new things. Lol, if you offer me a trip, I'll be ready like yesterday. I should just have a go bag for spontaneous trips. A 14hr flight sounds awesome right now, not for the flight...
  12. ICanBeStunning

    Finding Partners

    I just didn't understand what you were talking about, GFT. I was more confused than frustrated. I don't speak for all solo people, just for myself. I'm not sure if I'll want that for life, or just for now. I have an ideal [for] entangled partner[s] in mind, but I'm not too anxious to find them...
  13. ICanBeStunning

    Finding Partners

    Thank you nycindie. That's extremely helpful to me. I just read a blog that echoed what you're saying in a sense, and explained things as clearly as you did. Online dating is not something I'm used to. Some of those ideas elude me since you rarely meet people, and immediately dump everything...
  14. ICanBeStunning

    Why Being Solo and Poly Has Made Me a Happiness Evangelist

    Thank you for that! This is exactly my perspective, and I really needed to read this today.
  15. ICanBeStunning

    Finding Partners

    Thanks for all the help. I'll take the advice given, and hopefully it will help me attract the types of people I'm looking for.
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