JaneQSmythe

"You offered up a false dichotomy, & painted one of the two choices as of questionable morality (being less than polyamory).

It's a commonly employed example of failed logic being used as a manipulative tactic. It neatly ignores the whole range of choices between two viewpoints, & as well the possibility that both may be simultaneously true, or false. In propoganda[sic] & politics, it's often used to besmirch someone's character without the need for actual facts or even simple logic." -- Ravenscroft 9/9/2017, 2 male 1 woman triad questions thread on polyamory.com

Quote: "For example, having sex with someone other than your partner is labeled "cheating"..." - Originally Posted by esmfromhawaii

"I've found sporting metaphors can help with this. For example: picking a ball up and running with it is cheating if you're playing soccer, but it's a vital part of the game if you're playing rugby. It's not the action that makes it cheating; It's the context in which the action takes place.

If I've agreed to play soccer then I need to avoid using my hands, but if I (and everyone else on the field) am playing rugby then I don't have to do so just because it'd be against the rules if I was playing soccer.

If the rules of my relationship include "you can have sex with other people" then having sex with others isn't cheating just because monogamy exists." -- Emm 5/19/2017, How to deal with being shamed by society's labels thread on polyamory.com

"... My husband is big on Non-Verbal communication, my problem is that I don't read his non-verbal very well or my inter-galactic translator is malfunctioning

It gave me an idea. I am going to post notes all over my house saying 'This house is surrounded by an Anti-Telepathic Force Shield that blocks all telepathic powers. Please use other forms of communication, verbal and auditory are prefered.'" - SNeacail 12/6/10, Peace and joy and love thread on polyamory.com

"I don't want to be idolised. I want to be seen and loved for what I am. Divine but also dirt." - fuchka 9/26/14, Friends and lovers thread on polyamory.com

"...there are poly people who are assholes. There are also mono people who are assholes. There are simply a lot of various people who are assholes.

The key is in finding the kind of assholes who mesh well with you personally." - LovingRadiance 9/16/14, what is "in the closet" ? thread on polyamory.com

"Oh, hello, closet! I've had just one foot in you so long, I forgot you were right there at my back. Make a space for me to tuck back in there a bit..." - SlowPoly, Years of love, years of slow and what's next? thread on polyamory.com

"12 step-type programs are free. I think there must be something like 'co-dependent anonymous'..."
"Does Codependants Anonymous have sponsors? That would seem ironic."
- BoringGuy and TRBG 7/22/13, Redpepper's journey thread on polyamory.com

"I thought it would be fun to use a word in a way that actually agrees with its definition, just this once." - Marcus 4/6/13, New to poly and have some questions thread on polyamory.com

"You are what I found and wanted but never searched for." - FullofLove1052 5/24/13, Wide Awake thread on polyamory.com

"There are douchebags and there are poly people. There is over lap. However, being a douchebag does not make you poly and being poly does not make you a douchebag. In other words, a person's douchebaggery transcends their relationship status, sexuality, sex, race, religion and all that. It stands on it's own!" - Vixtoria 4/23/13, new to poly an having difficulty thread on polyamory.com

"Axe murder is a hard limit for you? You're doing poly all wrong!" - opalescent 3/11/13, the story of a secondary thread on polyamory.com

"Maybe not everyone likes to beat their horse to the desired consistency. " - polychronopolous 2/15/13, It isn't an agreement if it is not written and signed.. thread on polyamory.com

"I'm horny as fuck, and happy as a rainbow with fistfuls of chocolate." - fuchka 2/23/13, So far, so good! thread on polyamory.com

"Worrying about your tendency to worry is the sign of a champion worrier!" - AnnabelMore 12/17/11, Phy's story thread on polyamory.com

With regards to a "Triad" configuration:

"You went from almost no poly experience, to trying to manage one of the most difficult poly feats. It's like you stole the car from your Driver's Ed class and took it to the Indy 500." - anotherbo 9/11/2010, The Polly Roller Coaster thread on polyamory.com

"Ah, closets. I don't find it too claustrophobic, though. I have Narnia in mine"
- fuchka 11/22/12, So far, so good! thread on polyamory.com

"I don't know, there's no drama here, just sometimes it feels like I play a part in some surrealistic indie movie "
- Cleo 1/17/12, Loving without Fear: Cleo's path thread on polyamory.com

"[He] doesn't have relationships. He has transitions from one woman to another. These transitions take enough time that they look like relationships, but they are not."
- snowmelt 10/4/12, Greetings from upstate NY thread on polyamory.com

I seriously Heart You.

"...So nobody wanted to own the elephant. Nobody was checking. And look! It made a big poo in the living room. Argh!"
- GalaGirl 8/9/12, MFF Triad Went Horribly Wrong-Help Needed thread on polyamory.com