Recent content by jlpanian

  1. J

    Need help understanding something (triads and Vs)

    Tonberry, thanks for joining in the discussion. I have not actually thought about that. I think you may be onto something. When I think about outsiders, or mystery men, I think I am probably afraid of the unknown in that regard. As I think about the couples idea, it doesn't seem that bad...
  2. J

    What is it that I want?

    I know, which actually makes me want to lock up the poly Pandora's box and throw away the key, because, as you know, I'm very closed in my view on my wife with others. I'm not sure I even want to open it all up. I don't want to share her.
  3. J

    Need help understanding something (triads and Vs)

    That's a tough question! I have already written and rewritten responses several times, only to delete them all. I guess the best answer is, honestly, no. If I said yes, I'd feel like my wife were getting the short end of the stick, and I'm not looking for just an extra relationship on the side...
  4. J

    What is it that I want?

    Haha! I only wish it was as simple as strapping on the seatbelt and letting the woman come! :) No pun intended. The next hurdle is, let's say we're ready, we still need to find the right woman. And that's like finding the ark of the covenant! It probably doesn't exist. I knew my wife was one...
  5. J

    What is it that I want?

    RP, wow, I struggle with the EXACT thing you posted in the end. If I open Pandora's polyamory box, knowing my honest expectation that I couldn't (while being truthful to myself) be okay with them seeing anyone else, still want to open it. It's a huge risk. Even if my wife is completely content...
  6. J

    Need help understanding something (triads and Vs)

    I have read a lot of different posts on here. I am not sure if they are the ones you reference now. I did take you up and research a little on the OPP. I will try and see if I can click on your name and see all your posts to find them. Are these posts here, or on other sites? My wife has read...
  7. J

    Trying to Understand who I am!

    I was hoping to interact with you by asking you a question. I ask this because I was asked the same question, and I had a tough time really digging down coming up with an honest answer. You want an open relationship with your twin soul. Your wife has expressed she wants to be mono. This path...
  8. J

    I have a fantasy. No, strike that: I have a dream!

    Just something to ponder. If its best for their mono relationship to have you not mettle in it, are you okay with completely stepping away. You seem genuinely interested in both their happiness - needless to say you want to "boink" your best friends g/f. If your best friend expresses that...
  9. J

    Living in the open

    SNeacail - I second this whole post! I have to also re-iterate that if your boss is actually a good boss, then there will be no place to discuss your personal lifestyle choices at work. I own two companies and would never think of discussing this with any worker. I also would be upset if an...
  10. J

    Need help understanding something (triads and Vs)

    I hear you on that front, which is why it's hard for me to even associate what were looking for with that frowned-upon lifestyle. It's not about religion, it's not about getting hooked up with young women/underage girls, it's not even about the sex. It's hard to say, but since I know you guys...
  11. J

    What is it that I want?

    Redpepper, I was looking into OPP, as you suggested. I found this blog bashing the idea as sexist, and everything wrong with poly. :) In the comments they linked to this hilarious YouTube video: It's basically my dream in a comedy skit about OPP, with the exception that I want a vee and...
  12. J

    Need help understanding something (triads and Vs)

    Ha! Redpepper, I enjoy your feedback. I did not say those exact words, but the summarization of them pretty closely. My mother was mostly concerned with my wife. At first she assumed that I was the one spearheading the initiative. My mother was very concerned to make sure that my wife was not...
  13. J

    What is it that I want?

    Redpepper, that's what I struggle with. My wife, for instance, as I mentioned in another post, is the one that started us down this path, and she wants nothing to do with having another lover. She loves the idea of having a best friend kind of thing. I cannot honestly speak for her, but this is...
  14. J

    The Ole Monogamy Blues

    This goes out to both RP and Sylphia. This is something I have thought about, and never really came up with an answer. Do you think you guys are ever looking for that NRE that comes with the new love? Will you be satisfied with the new fling once the NRE dies down? Or will you want to accept...
  15. J

    Need help understanding something (triads and Vs)

    Anotherbo, I know! I was so relieved to hear my parents' support of the idea. It's one less thing to worry about. Thanks again for the support. It means a lot.
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