I read your post and in some ways reminded me of my situation. Its reversed and no baby involved yet. My wife and I are expecting a baby soon. I without trying formed a emotional connection with a coworker. Now its beyond complicated and the coworker drops snippets of feelings and her thoughts about us but never full says anything. I want to hate her but the feelings I have for her are anchoring themselves deep. My wife is my life and world. I want to be happy but har to do. Have you figured out what to do with your situation?