Thanks!
Lots of great advice on the thread.
She calls herself "monogamish." So, I follow suit. She hasn't dated but she'd be open to something on the very casual end of the spectrum. It's her label to apply to herself as she pleases. I'm not going to quibble with it.
Certainly, GG's...
Metamour intro meeting gone wrong
Hey Y'all. Don't pop in here often any more. But, needing some advice in a forum wherein which neither of my core partners participate.
Quick background: I've been dating J who lives up here in Seattle for just over a year. I've been dating R for about 7...
I can't speak to the kink aspect of this question.
I can say that many of us have the experience of dating someone poly-curious or transitioning to poly only to realize well into the connection that poly isn't right for them. This results in heartache (and sometimes drama).
I've recently had...
Sounds like you've been through quite a lot, grown some, and much of the trust that was lost a year ago has been rebuilt. I hope that's the case, as it'll make what you're proposing easier (maybe even just possible).
I agree with PolyGamerGirl that purely sexual relationships are somewhat...
It as good a reason as any to try poly. But, I would suggest making sure it is something that fits you in a deeper way. If you see yourself loving more than one, how do you feel about partner's loving more than you? Polyamory can be difficult for some because it can require a high emotional...
Exactly this^
I'll add that I would hope that you forgive him his transgressions some day. But, that's different than saying I hope you come to accept this relationship and be poly (for him). This may not be the right answer for you. Take the time that you need to figure it out. Ask for the...
Might be a good idea to suggest he join the forum and join the discussion.
If you were open from the beginning and he says that the rules have changed, it sounds like you have had different views about what "open" really meant. I realize that your relationships were swinging, but it's not...
I hear you but I think you missed what I intended to be the major point of my post. It doesn't seem that non-monogamy will solve the kinds of things you were dealing with in your initial post. May be a piece of the puzzle. But, don't forget to look for the other pieces of the puzzle that are...
Boba said it.
You've suddenly changed the rules of the game. Take it slow and expect it to be hard. The only way through is to stay with that hardness with tenderness. Meaning don't get angry that she just doesn't get it. If she's willing to engage in the conversation, she's doing more...
My advice is to not view the issues as one in the same. Your happiness is not the same as your libido is not the same as the health of your relationship is not the same as being poly. They are intertwined to be sure, but you'll need to find more space to deal with the causes of each. Some may...
This is where you get into the territory of is she doing it because she enjoys it or because it's something she feels she "should" do in new relationships. We often do this. Do all sorts of things we don't or only marginally enjoy because we so very want to please our new partner. Once the...
It's interesting to me. Commitment generally equals sexual fidelity for monos (plus often other stuff too). Commitment for polys? Is often some form of agreement... primary dynamic or some negotiated agreement.
I just don't view things that way. Commitment is only partially glimpsed by...