Recent content by MusicalRose

Yeah, I understand the usefulness of being able to define partners, but whenever I try to really dig into the question of "who is a partner?" I get stuck. I have someone in my life that I have regular sex with and spend a ton of time with. It is a romantic and sexual relationship that I...

I do not think that forced anything, even equality is a tenet that most RA people are likely to go for. Some of my relationships are more important to me than others, but I get to decide what that means in terms of how much time I'm willing to spend with someone or what level of intimacy I'm...

For my RA, it never precludes structure. It just gives no one else power over me. I am the ultimate authority of myself. Now, many people who choose RA do so because they do not want to enter into a lot of agreements that it is assumed they will make based on starting a romantic or sexual...

I'll try to address some of xxii's points with the disclaimer that I'm kind of tired and on the mend from an illness, so if I muck this up, please ask for clarification and I'll try to respond in a timely manner, but I don't want to lose track of this topic, so I do want to write a little bit of...

Yeah, I have an ex that is much more in line with the predator definition, and it's difficult to know how to manage it. On the one hand, if I mention it to people he seems to be flirting with, I get to look like a bitter ex. There's also the fact that NRE is usually a really powerful force...

In the workshop that I made with my red flags list, I try to make it clear that everyone's list is going to be unique to them, and that some behaviors that some people consider absolutely unacceptable is no big deal to others. I stress that creating this list is about you and what you do and...

I generally don't need quite the laundry list now that I have compiled over the years, but I like to have it as something to show to others who might be wondering. It illustrated for me all the really poor behavior I let slide over the course of a few of my relationships. It's much more...

Below is a list of red flags that I use periodically to vet my relationships. I've found that it can transcend romantic relationships and be used for all types of relationships, including situations with larger entities like a community or employer. Signs in Other Person History of...

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?p=305643#post305643 Voila! New topic.

There was a request to start a topic for discussion on how to avoid manipulative types, so I took the initiative. I'll make a longer post a little bit later, but I wanted to get the topic started.

This can end up being a really long answer that I actually turned into a workshop and presented at Poly Living Philadelphia and Atlanta Poly Weekend this year. If you want to PM me, I can give you my email address and share my workshop notes with you or have a more in-depth discussion so we...

From what I can see online, I'm probably an HSP. Although, even though I feel things very deeply and respond pretty profoundly to stimuli, I also don't necessarily dislike the sense of being overwhelmed, so it isn't problematic to me to have maybe a higher level of chaotic elements going on...

I cannot even begin to imagine the emotions you are processing and dealing with right now. I have not experienced a similar situation, but I wanted to offer my condolences and my hope that you find the support and healing you need in this difficult time. *hug*

This is very true. I had a partner that did not want the same things I wanted, but he was unwilling to walk away, and so we got into a years-long cycle of him saying whatever he thought I needed to hear for him to keep me, and me wondering why even though he said it was okay we always ended up...

My most compelling argument about any of this is that it is really really presumptuous of your wife to speak for all women. She is only one woman. I would recommend you and or she read Sex At Dawn. There is at least some suggestion that your wife's assertions about women have absolutely no...