Recent content by Quietfever

It's going to depend. In my own case, I opted not to go with a poly married woman because I am single, want a life partner of my own, and am realizing that I need to honor my desire for a life partner. It doesn't mean that I won't potentially have additional partners in the future. It does...

I have been thinking about this. The woman who is the most likely person I'd become a "secondary" of - I would *never* feel like I was really equal status to her husband, it would always feel secondary, because they *are* legally married. They are also very tight. Even if I got with her, I...

This all seems really sensible. I guess what I'm wanting is to be part of a household - knowing my partner and I are really committed to each other, regardless of who else adds to our gestalt. I would not mind being part of a household. I want the "marriage/house/comfort/long term" kind of...

I am 38 and single and a lesbian. Right now I am in the "stray single" situation evaluating whether I would get involved with women who are married and polyamorous. I seem to click better with attached bi women than with other lesbians and the lesbian monogamy model has been utterly suffocating...

Interesting. I am the "stray single". I'm in a life place where it's far easier to meet attached people open to me as a secondary, than people who want to be a primary live-in life partner with me who are also compatible. In the former situation, there's almost an embarassment of riches - as...

Oh my god THIS. This has been EVERY monogamous partner I've been with. It got to the point that I just couldn't stand being in a relationship anymore, if this is what it's like and it's even somewhat socially acceptable. My exes both felt that any kind of deep conversation shared between...

Yeah - open to possibilities. I used to generally get with people who were severe introverts and who were very, very private people. In my relationship paradigm, I needed a relationship to fit in and didn't have any confidence that I would hold the interest of a more vibrant or social...

It's been my experience that when I've been in a monogamous LTR, I didn't even have the freedom to have long deep conversations with anyone. I notice even that my married monogamous friends don't tend to share very much online the way that my single or poly friends do. My mother is monogamous...

Could this be moved to "General Poly Discussions"? On second thought, I think this post is a better fit there.

Hi, here is my thing... I sometimes have felt pressured to find a primary pair bond relationship for reasons that were not romantic and sexual - I am on the asexual spectrum to some extent (I'm demisexual to a degree) and do not have a huge sex drive when I'm alone. I tend to only want to have...

It's more that my friend and I are finding that single monogamous people don't seem to be interested in us, and we aren't meeting polyamorous people who don't already have a legal spouse in the house. The polies all seem to be married and the monos all seem to be extremely picky and ruling us...

That is really awesome! You are the kind of person I love hanging with, you remind me of some of my friends from my various geeky and fannish circles. My paganism resembles more a traditional religion (I worship the classical Greek gods) but I used to be an "eclectic" and I came to the practice...

Greetings. A friend of mine (has an obvious physical difference) and I (geographically undesirable, live at home) find that we have trouble meeting single monogamous or polyamorous person to date us. We have plenty of poly people (who are already in primary relationships) at any time who are...

Greetings! We have a lot in common! I'm very much in geek/fan culture as well, am a tabletop gamer and am an artist. I find myself investigating poly because I am only compatible with other geeks, I'm a lesbian, and I seem totally unable to meet compatible geeky women who AREN'T poly... it is...

My biggest observation... ...is that I have been in the singles world for a long time, and I observe that single monogamists over 35 make it VERY hard on themselves to find love. Most of us don't seem to ever have relationships at all and occasionally we have one or two dates. And I've learned...