Recent content by RaleighGuy

I asked my wife if she would like to take a trip to visit her other guy. She said she didn't really want to meet him in person, because he might not be the man she imagines him to be. Her fantasy guy, based on the man she knew years ago, plus the one she's talking to, is the one she loves, and...

The distance between my wife and her other love is almost 2000 miles, so he's not going to just drive over for a quick visit. With the cost of gas and airplane tickets, a trip is pretty major investment, and none of us are rich (although my wife and I are a little better off than the other guy...

I have mentioned to her, and she has acknowledged, that she's in love with a fantasy. In her mind, there is a composite of the man she knew years ago, the man she has imagined ever since, and the man she has discovered through the online connection. This makes her tentative in the things she is...

Here's a definition: the desire, practice, or acceptance of having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. If "everyone involved" includes his wife, then no, the relationship is not poly. But if you limit "involved" to...

He and his wife have not been getting along well for years, or so I'm told. That does concern me, and my wife doesn't really like being the other woman. But she would rather be his secret friend than to lose him again. I can see that as long as he and my wife are living far apart, and never see...

It seems to me that there's a fine line between privacy and honesty, in this situation. I mean, I can't monitor every conversation they have, but I'm still interested. I understand that some of the specific things they say to each other are not really my business. She is sorry for betraying...

VC, Thanks for your input. First, I'm still recovering from having found out about this situation by accident. That part makes me a little nervous. Since I was deceived once, it might happen again. My wife is still getting used to having me involved. I haven't talked to or emailed the other...

To start with, the other wife doesn't know. I'm not sure if she does now, but I don't think so. Their kids are grown and out of the house, as are ours. If she had sex with the other guy, I would understand. It would be easier to understand than why she loves him. When I found out about him, it...

She says she loves me more than ever, and has no interest in doing anything to break up our marriage. It seems like he's going to continue his marriage, on the other side of the country, and that he and my wife will continue to have this long-distance relationship, until one or both get tired...

Well, they don't see each other at all, since he's many, many miles away-- half a day by plane. But she loves him, and he loves her, and they want to continue that love. She's clearly not disliking the things that I dislike. I suppose there is a chance I am wrong. Maybe he's really a great guy...

I could provide you with a long list of brilliant thinkers/philosphers who would point out the errors in your thinking. But your knee-jerk defensive posture tells me that would be a waste of time. Atheism is a religion, exactly like Christianity, or Islam. If you don't BELIEVE that there is...

If you are an atheist, then that is your religion. The existence of a god can't be proved or disproved, so for someone to BELIEVE, either in the existence of a god, or that there is no god, either way, it's a matter of faith. It's just easier to deal with your religion, in a lot of ways, then...

Since my wife's other man is hundreds of miles away, I've never met him, and don't know him. But I have the feeling that if I did know him, I wouldn't like him at all, and not because of his relationship with my wife. He and I don't have anything much in common, other than our interest in her...

I don't think I said or assumed that people are "seeking to fall in love". What I said was that people might be looking for sexual variety, and calling it polyamory, or they might be trying to avoid or break a commitment, and using polyamory as a tool. Probably not what it was meant for, in...

It could be easy to use "I'm polyamorous" to avoid commitment. Where Quath suggests allowing love to "relax back into friendship", he is admitting it can be hard work to honor a commitment, and to keep a love alive and well. There is no real reason why one can't love two people (or more) at...