.....your quote about not wanting to be defined.
I think that there are questions that are really just trying to put people in boxes. One of them is "how old are you?" If a person said that they were 12 or 90 and the questioner believed this, then they would start treating that person as a 12 or 90 year old. The person would actually be the same age, unchanged. I guess people would ask "how much money do you have?" or, are you male or female (if it weren't obvious and they could get away with it). These are all intrusive questions in my opinion,.