Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

I had a sad spell last night. I think it’s important to mention my moods here - my emotions are mostly positive right now but once in a while things hit me like a truck.

Things are still moving along with the Blessing Box - I am super busy most days. Yesterday I had my 3 solid volunteers working. We bagged up frozen foods (fish sticks, nuggets in huge boxes needing to be put into family size ziplocks) and worked on sorting out more Halloween decorations. It’s supposed to rain Sunday during our Halloween giveaway, so it’ll just be stuff on the porch. I have plenty for the yard, but there’s not much I can do with the forecast!

My Teen Christmas giveaway is full, though I do have one parent left who has yet to give me a wish list for her kids. I told her I needed info by 4 pm or they’re being bumped out. I don’t have time to fuck around. I took 5 of the kids and made an Amazon wish list so that people who maybe don’t have enough to sponsor everything for a teen could have the opportunity to gift a couple of items that way. I’ve not done that before - we will see if it’s productive or not! I have 28 teens total to sponsor.

The senior Santa letters have been ordered (I partner with the Office of the Aging and Meals on Wheels) and individuals have told me they are thinking about their requests. I’ve gotten 2 in so far. Last year I coordinated 75, so I am expecting this to pick up over the course of the month!

I also have 3 little kids I am personally sponsoring - their mom OD this summer and I see them every week when grandma brings them by. Apparently there is an issue with custody (one birth father is unknown and the other is in prison) and since the legal paperwork isn’t in place, the kids don’t qualify for Toys for Tots or Salvation Army programs. Um, yeah. I am not going to let them struggle! I had a donor last week buy all of them new bedding (including grandma) and they left here last Sunday all with Halloween costumes and winter coats. This is why I do what I do!

Today I have a donor bringing by items for a young guy who just got his first apartment, and someone else wanted to sponsor an unannounced meal giveaway, so my volunteers will be bagging that stuff this afternoon.

I’m closed tomorrow, and DarkKnight has practice. So MisterMoonbeam and ai talked about going on a hike but I am not sure - we will see if the weather cooperates.
 
Oh, don’t get me started! I have like 30+ pencil skirts that are the backbone of my wardrobe - part of my daily “uniform” - and most of them were either $5 or free. I won most online from various salespeople. I am definitely down for saving money, but there’s something about having someone else tell me what they think - and I have really enjoyed my two boxes from Stitch Fix!
30! Wow! haha. Sadly, I have so many cute clothes but I really just can't go out now. You're running around and seeing all these people. I only go 2 places, Savers and my grocery store. Once in a while Target. The first 2 places, people are slacking off on mask wearing! I am sad. I was proud of my town, it seemed everyone was being so good. Now, there are way too many noses out, and people sidle by you with only 3 feet between you! So far, Target seems better, the aisles are wider and shorter and I don't feel in danger.
 
30! Wow! haha. Sadly, I have so many cute clothes but I really just can't go out now. You're running around and seeing all these people. I only go 2 places, Savers and my grocery store. Once in a while Target. The first 2 places, people are slacking off on mask wearing! I am sad. I was proud of my town, it seemed everyone was being so good. Now, there are way too many noses out, and people sidle by you with only 3 feet between you! So far, Target seems better, the aisles are wider and shorter and I don't feel in danger.
I try not to run around. Our hiking we stay away from anyone who might be out at the same time. I try not to do shopping - DarkKnight normally hits that on his way home from work if needed. We’ve only hung out this entire quarantine with the two friends from Fredericksburg, who have stayed home, even to work.

That said, I see bunches of people everyday on my porch, and they are mostly masked and I greet from a distance. If they aren’t masked, I offer one. Kids run at me at least once a day though, and 98% are not masked. They snag hugs from me when I am not looking, but if I am looking, I do elbow bumps or side hugs if I realize it too late.

I did have all of my kids over on my birthday. That was a calculated risk. My 2 daughters work together though, and my son lives with one of his sisters. So I feel like the risk of seeing one of them is the same as seeing all of them, if that makes sense. That’s past 14 days now, so everyone was good. We are uncertain about Thanksgiving plans right now though. We will wait and see how the infection rates are in our area.
 
Ugh I wish I could just sleep all day today, but I am awake. This weekend MisterMoonbeam and I ended up in Fredericksburg unexpectedly, and we stayed over at his old metamour’s house. I know I’ve mentioned how much I love this couple before! We’ve included them in our quarantine bubble since the beginning of our relationship.

Anyway, on Saturday I was determined to get my walk in, so I did 4 miles with MisterMoonbeam and his friend, while his wife stayed back at the house. We did the Alum Springs VCR Trail. After that we played a ton of board games - we brought along Puns of Anarchy and Lifeboat, and we enjoyed their copies of Junk Orbit, Fresco and some tabloid game from the 80s that I don’t remember the name of! I really liked Junk Orbit. Fresco was fun too, for a worker placement board game.

Unfortunately when we got home I discovered I had left both my charging cable and my hiking sneakers in Fredericksburg, so it looks like I will be heading that way again this weekend! MisterMoonbeam and I had planned an excursion already to a dark sky area in PA to watch the Orionid meteor shower, but it’s going to be cloudy. I’m really disappointed about that, but ai am not surprised - every time I have ever made a solid plan to watch a meteor shower, it gets canceled! Instead I guess we will be in Virginia again. He looked up some stuff to do and the plan is to pick up my shoes and then go canoeing on the Reservoir, and walking a trail along that as well.

It really does feel good to get out in nature this year. Last year I did absolutely nothing outdoors due to my depression, but in years prior, my youngest and I would collect state park trails like trading cards! It’s nice to have both my partners support my interests - or at least humor me in going out!

This is week 3 of the birthday challenge I set for myself to hike every single week, and I am looking forward to my excursions! Both DarkKnight and MisterMoonbeam are buying themselves hiking sneakers this weekend, actually. DarkKnight has hiking boots, but for the trails we do, they’re overkill and too heavy. I love my Merrells and I was actually really anxious and upset that I had left them in Fredericksburg. I need them to be able to continue my challenge!

I have seriously gained so much weight this year due to my divorce and I need to stop the nonsense. I feel really unattractive now with the weight gain and my Invisalign braces and the chopping off of all my red hair and going completely natural. It’s okay though - I am taking steps (literally!) to feel better about myself.
 
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Today was a good day. It was really kind of blah out but I helped a bunch of people. Doorbell rings were constant throughout the day - asks for baby formula, diapers, frozen food, snacks. MisterMoonbeam is on Arizona time this week, so I didn’t see him much and probably won’t throughout the week, so that’s kind of stinky too. That said, he does say hi during bathroom breaks and I popped in to bring him mail and meals!

DarkKnight and I went on a nature walk this evening right after he got out of work. We did 2.5 miles on the C&O Canal Trail. I feel like I could go much faster and further, but he’s not in the best of shape to keep up. Lol Not that I am in any sort of shape myself, really. So we aren’t racing anyone or anything, just enjoying nature and being with each other. I took the selfie posted at the start of this post tonight while hiking. Hello there!

Tomorrow the Box is closed, as I have to take DarkKnight to work. The passenger side front window on his car needs a new regulator, and it’s 100% covered under our warranty. So I have that appointment first thing. Then I need to go to the bank. Our electrician friend is going to stop by in the afternoon, and we are getting a whole bunch of stuff done - he’s installing the downstairs bathroom fan (the old one stopped working a while ago) and replacing & upgrading two basement outlets. The overhead light in the master closet is being centralized and the one in the studio area is being pushed back a bit as well. Oh, and then the upstairs bathroom is getting an outlet! It’s only ever had one plug-in on the bottom of the medicine cabinet, and now we will have a GFCI outlet installed along the wall, and that will allow us to use it for like, living. Lol I am excited about this because BugGirl bought me another Echo Dot and that will be its home. I like to sing in the shower!
 
Today was an okay day. The doorbell rang at 10:30 (a half hour before opening) and it never stopped. Two of my regular volunteers came over and the day progressed in a positive way. We gave out a lot of shoes and blankets, and I had several specific requests for coats and clothing.

Shit. I just remembered we were going to bring the mini fridge inside for the season tonight. I guess that will happen tomorrow!

MisterMoonbeam has Friday off this week, so he has an appointment at the MVA where he will be switching over to a Maryland license finally. Covid put this on hold for him. It’s at 8 am, and after that I am taking two cats (Lenny & Albus) to the vet for their yearly exam.

The plan for the afternoon is to drive to Fredericksburg and get a hotel for two nights - we are going to go canoe on the reservoir there and do a hike as well, once I get my Merrell’s back from our friends’ house! We will probably hang out and play games with at least one of them Saturday night. We didn’t want to impose and stay over again since we were there last weekend, but we will definitely see them.

I am snuggling with DarkKnight tonight since I will be gone for two evenings. Our cat Olivia is hogging all of his attention at the moment though! She’s such a sweetie, so I can’t complain too much.

What else? I ordered our pajama pants for Christmas Eve tonight and they should be here Monday. The T-shirts all came in and they look great! The plan is still to rent a hotel room and stay over at the beach over Christmas. The couple from Fredericksburg has said they want to get an adjoining room and so we may have an even more fun get together than I initially thought! We will see. Lately we have been talking about going to Rehoboth so we don’t have to cross the Bay Bridge, as we would if we were going to Ocean City. We need to do more research and budgeting though. I’ve only been to Rehoboth once, but I know Ocean City pretty well.
 
The trip to Fredericksburg has been good and bad. I forgot to bring my watershoes, my hiking backpack and my swimsuit, so the reservoir was a no go. I was really bummed about that since I love canoeing and being on the water much more than I enjoy hiking! However, we made other plans that turned out to be wonderful.

MisterMoonbeam & I did a 4.5 mile hike in Prince William Forest Park - it’s called the Pyrite Mine & North Valley Trail Loop. It was GORGEOUS y’all. We did a leisurely pace and just enjoyed being in nature and enjoy the sites. We got a LOT of pictures of various fungi and were pleasantly surprised by the small waterfalls on the back end.

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Oh! My teeth! The other not so good thing about the trip is that when we stopped for lunch yesterday, I left my current set of Invisalign aligners on the table. When I realized it, it was too late. MisterMoonbeam called, but the manager was unable to find them. He did dig through the trash - at least he said he did when he called us back. So I am without aligners right now and when I return home Sunday night, life is gonna suck, because I will have to jump forward a set and it will be fucking unbearable for a few days.

Right now though, my teeth feel wonderful without the constant pressure. Lol
 
So I am like 98% sure BugGirl has relapsed and is currently high AF somewhere in Baltimore with her ex, the one who kickstarted her addictions. I’m not quite sure what to do. I don’t think there is much I can do.
 
I'm so sorry, Bluebird. I hope she comes back asap.
 
She came back home but refused to talk to me about anything, but said she would soon. Before that I had taken over food for the house and her cats, since they had nothing. She missed two days of work but she did go in today.

I’m sure she is feeling shamed and embarrassed, which she has told me she can usually talk to just about anyone else about it but not me, because, well, I’m her mom and she wants to make me proud, even though she’s turning 30 soon. Which I get.

I’ve been told her entire savings is now gone, which was the money she had saved up to buy a car before winter hit.
 
Thank goodness I have today off. I am emotionally and physically exhausted. I slept until almost noon, but I dragged myself upstairs to feed the cats. They were hella pissed at me because they normally have lunch at 10 am.

I am starving right now myself but it seems too difficult to make a salad, even though I have some yummy ingredients - avocado, hard boiled eggs, cucumbers and cherry tomatoes. Leftover pork chops from last night too! It’s just overwhelming.

I am needing to shower, so that isn’t really helping me either. I know when depression is an issue, the first 3 things to do are eat food, shower and get all the way dressed. Instead I am sitting in the recliner and breathing.

I am beating myself up a bit because I haven’t yet put on my new Invisalign aligners because I am afraid of the pain. I want to cry when I think about it, but hopefully I can manage to try tonight.

BugGirl texted me today and said she will come over after work to talk about things. She said she is working everyday for the next 6 days straight, and that sounds very much like her trying to take control of herself. I guess that’s good? I am not sure what to say to her tonight about her relapse but my plan is to just be present and listen.
 
Dressed and feeling a bit better. My hair is still wet from the shower but I’m clean! The cats didn’t kill me. I ordered in lunch and had a grilled chicken sandwich from Chili’s. Straightened up the porch a bit and now I am sitting on the patio enjoying the nice weather while I type this. Just a few things but my mood is improved! I am going to go charge my phone now and sweep the living room. Oh yeah, I started laundry too. Awesome.6987ADE4-3A4A-43D2-BCA1-A97120A9630A.jpeg
 
I’m writing this from the parking lot of the emergency vet hospital. BugGirl’s kitten got really sick over the weekend and they are putting him to sleep. MisterMoonbeam came with me, and we’ve been here for almost 4 hours. We are now just waiting for them to bring the carrier out. BugGirl stayed home because she has to be up at 4:30.

I had an okay talk with her tonight before this happened. I hope she’s now back on track to recovery.
 
When I have posted about being tired before, forget all that. Holy shit this week. I am busted. I am glad I did that super long hike last weekend because as gorgeous as it is out, I have been operating on empty - my tank is out of gas.

My alarm went off at 9 am, 9:30 and 10. I kept resetting it, and the second I shut my eyes I was out again. That was after not going to sleep until after 2 am this morning, and then being up from 6 to 7:30.

It’s not just physically being tired, but emotionally as well. I’m just a mess. But there’s no resting here. I rescheduled - yet again - our electrical work for next week. There was a line here at 11 am for the Blessing Box, and everyone had special requests - dog food, cat food, diapers, size 18 month clothing. A mom was asking for birthday decorations as her son is turning two today and she didn’t have anything. Funny enough, we did have a race at set of treat bags, hats, banners.
 
New entry because I was just interrupted by a mom needing ramen noodles for her lunch today at work, and I gave her a 4T coat covered in dinosaurs (pink & purple) for her little girl. She had asked for one the last time I saw her but we didn’t have the size, so when one came in, I saved it for her.

OMG I need to just go pass out. I will have two volunteers here at 1 pm, thank goodness. I picked up an entire carload of pet food from the humane society yesterday evening and so they will be bagging that up for me, and working on sorting clothes.

I suppose I should order in some lunch. Here’s my latest in Corona fashion - I absolutely love wrap dresses! You can see how exhausted I am.

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Awake! Gah!

Yesterday was busy, but oh so satisfying. I helped so many people, and a lot of my interactions were over the top positive. A huge part of my happiness came from the family I am going to be helping personally this Christmas - a grandmother with her three grandkids (mom OD in May). I love this family so much!

We received a donation of 3 huge contractor bags of like-new clothing in size 7/8 boys, which is the exact size that the little boy in the family wears. So I messaged grandma and she came over immediately. She and the little boy went through everything - there were over 100 pieces and it was all high quality brands, and seriously looked as if nothing had ever been worn. They went away with underwear, pants, T-shirts, long sleeve shirts, sweaters, hoodies - they were so excited! The little boy is a second grader and will be restarting in-person school on Monday, so he is be completely kitted out for that now. (I will be dividing up & giving away the stuff they didn’t choose today.)

I also talked to grandma, and I will be taking all 3 kids to see a local play, now that the children’s theater in town is opening back up. The place normally comps me a ton of tickets, but there is no way I can take 12-20 kids right now because of the pandemic. Instead I am going to take this family, and grandma said she would love the break! I am aiming for the end of November.

The family stayed over for about two hours yesterday afternoon and all of the kids helped mark UPCs and put away donations. They were so cute and were enthusiastic about being volunteers.

The oldest I am going to be taking clothes shopping - maybe next weekend? - for part of her Christmas list. She’s a preteen and a little chubby, as her baby fat hasn’t redistributed yet. They don’t know her sizes on anything, and she really needs a bra. So the plan is for me to go get her fitted. Her face was literally beaming when I was talking about taking her shopping. I know she has been the subject of a lot of teasing and bullying, because everything she has is used and not stylish. It has been a while since I was responsible for the wardrobe of a 12 year old, so I will need to look at some catalogs to see what’s cool. However, I am determined to make her life better. Middle school girls are honestly the worst things on the planet to each other sometimes. At least, they used to be. Unfortunately that is one constant that I think will never change.

So yeah, yesterday was amazing, in spite of my exhaustion. I also gave out a pack n play, a toddler bed & mattress, two pairs of brand new mens sneakers that were requested by different families and soooo much food. I only ended up with one volunteer, but she focused on the food and clothing while I bagged all of the donated cat food into ziplocks. I have her and the other two musketeers coming over today to focus on getting dog food bagged up. Or some of it, anyway. There may be like 500 pounds?

DarkKnight and I have a walking date planned after he gets home tonight. I hope I am not dead on my feet again!
 
DarkKnight and I did a little over 2 and a half miles on Friday evening - the cultural trail in the city. I’ve walked it before, but he hadn’t, so we started at city park and ended downtown, where we had dinner outside on the sidewalk at Bulls & Bears. We took waaaay too long to eat and then it was a walk back to the start in the dark, which actually made it romantic.

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Yesterday was a good Saturday. I had the day off from the Blessing Box, so I sat on my patio and carved a pumpkin, as our friends in Fredericksburg were hosting an online Halloween party. I also decided last minute to paint one as well - we’ve had these acrylic body paints in a shelf in the kitchen for the last few months and they’ve been subject to a great deal of temperature fluctuation and moisture there. I was thinking of throwing them out, but this seemed like the perfect opportunity to not be wasteful. Some of the colors were just awful but overall I think the pumpkin looks good!

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In the evening yesterday, we finally got in a game of Gloomhaven: Jaws of the Lion. We hadn’t played in a couple of weeks. We beat the scenario and I think we are on to #11 now? We have a side quest to do as well, for our Voidwarden, so I think that might be our next game.

Today is our last costume giveaway before Halloween. The weather is supposed to be terrible, but that’s okay. I plan to set out any stuff that is left, over the next week. I am wanting to get it all out of here, so I can use the racks for our winter coats, and I need the space in the foster room for Christmas items, in preparation for that giveaway in December!
 
DarkKnight and I had a nice 2 mile walk at a park in town last night. He’s going to start having play practice Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday now so I am going to be missing him lots soon!
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This photo is a two-fer , because not only is it a pic from my nature walk last night, but it’s also a look at my new jacket that came from Stitch Fix! I wanted a cargo coat specifically for hiking, and it was perfect!
 
Ugh I am tired today. It’s my day off but I will be keeping the car when DarkKnight comes home for lunch - I have to take a donated bicycle to get repaired and buy parts for it.

I want to spend some time today organizing the office space in the basement - the area which was once PunkRock’s unfinished art studio. I cleared off the desk that will be DarkKnight’s a few days ago, but the rest is still stacked up with boxes and random things. Not sure if I will be motivated enough though! It’s dreary out, at the moment, and I’m tired.

MisterMoonbeam took me out for hibachi last night. I hadn’t been since before quarantine! It was super delicious, and we went to Wonderbooks afterward, even though it’s across town. He had never been there, and he bought himself a couple of books for work and two for me as well. We had some good sexy times later on, even though we were both tired and full of food! DarkKnight brought us both something from the ice cream shop on the corner after he got home too - I was coughing half the night because vanilla malts do that to me!

Oh yeah, I want to go vote too. I forgot about that.
 
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DarkKnight and I were in line for 2 hours and 10 minutes to early vote yesterday! (MisterMoonbeam is planning to go on Friday, since he has the day off.) I was super bummed - not gonna lie - because I forgot to wear my Converse sneakers. However, I did receive a few compliments on my “Notorious RBG - ready to dissent” T-shirt while in line! I am so worn out on politics lately though. Now that I’ve voted, I wanna stick my head in the sand for a few days and not hear another single stupid thing until after the election. I sure hope that the majority isn’t for Trump.

I had a nightmare this morning, so I was up at 3 am. I just watched a Netflix movie called Black Man, White Skin. It’s about albinism in Africa. It’s amazing sometimes to me at how many organizations that exist to try and relieve the suffering of others. There is good in the world, no matter what.
 
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