What are folks thoughts on having jelousy (which I'm working on)
It's just an emotion to me. One does their emotional management around that. And usually most feelings whether fun to feel or not fun to feel? Will pass.
I do not think "jealousy response" is a love indicator. Like if I don't get jealous it means I don't really love a partner. Some people seem to want the jealousy response in a partner to "prove love."
And some people just prefer to have monogamous relationships so their jealousy thing doesn't get pinged as much. Which is fine. We all get to choose how we want to be.
I don't know if this helps you any
We aren't bored right now, but is it ethical to try polyamory once it gets boring, like in the future. Or is it better reserved for people who are more naturally poly.
Measured against WHOSE personal ethics? If it's ethical to all the participants, then I guess it's ethical to them.
It wouldn't be a great sounding dating offer to ME -- "Come poly date me because I'm bored with my other relationship." I'd wonder why this couple just doesn't make their relationship more interesting for them to continue participating in it. Or call it the end of the line and be done.
I am also not clear on what the hypothetical poly dating is supposed to DO for the bored couple?
- Actually solve the boredom by introducing new dynamics/ new people to deal with or interact with? (Could making more hobby friends or volunteering friends solve this better?)
- Or distract from from the boredom by introducing new dynamics to have to deal with? (Why distract from rather than deal with boredom head on?)
- Enable the couple to avoid a break up? (Even though changing from a monogamous model to a poly model IS basically breaking up on purpose to let the old model go and start with a new relationship model?)
- Be used like a soft-exit to set up a new partner before dumping the old one to skip being alone in between partners?
- Is this an end of life issue? Like one partner is sick/dying or has dementia and doesn't recognize spouse any more?
- Something other kind of reason?
I guess the reason why the couple wants to use polydating to alleviate "boredom" would influence how the the ethical the people involved find it.
If a spouse is so far along in dementia that they don't even know you any more or other relatives? Live in a nursing home while you putz around the family home? And you want to move on to building your next chapter but also not divorce them because they need the health insurance and other reasons? Well...
Again, that would be on the persons involved if it is ethical or not.
I wouldn't be especially keen on most of the reasons above. I might be more open to end of life issues as I get older myself. It's hard for me to relate to the boredom part. I've been with my husband for decades. I'm not bored of him/our relationship. I actually like ORE more than I do NRE.
Why's getting bored a concern for you right now?
Galagirl