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    Redpepper's journey

    Bloody humans, they can cause so much hurt, they fuck up all the time. They make poor decisions, terribly poor decisions. They can enter a path that no one can understand. We are all of us suffering struggles that others can not see. I would never excuse such behaviour, but I dislike the...
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    What Should I Do?

    OP, your description most certainly sounds like an abusive relationship.
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    Simultaneous NRE

    I mean... If your lover, or the person you love... If they are in pain, physical or emotional ?
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    Simultaneous NRE

    Saw his other lovers for several hours. Saw me for a few hours but was in too much pain so couldn't have sex. Are you serious ?
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    Of Misogyny and Mass Murder

    I hope this links works as I'm doing this in my phone. It's an article by a young man who lost his wife to a violent murderous rapist. He argues they are the monster myth. The totally unlikely chance you may lose someone this way, he asks that the loss of his wife not turn to discussions of...
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    Confessing a Past Affair

    If a Nazi were to ask "do you know where Anne frank is?" I would view that question as part of this lie "it is ok to kill Jews". If someone came and asked the same question, and I knew that person was a sympathiser who helped Jewish people I would view the question as part of this truth "it...
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    Confessing a Past Affair

    I'm now sure about the nazi story actually... 1. It's ok to kill Jews. 2. It's ok to save people from persecution. If I thought 1 was a lie and 2 was truth.... Would I be lying to anyone if my behaviour was aligned to point 2. In my country it's a criminal activity for women too seek to...
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    Confessing a Past Affair

    Whilst there is no right or wrong, because it does come down to individual values.'s also quite simple. It's either ok to lie or it is not ok. In my view if you start down the slippery slope of defining certain circumstances where it may be ok to lie... Everybody in the equation...
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    Confessing a Past Affair

    There's no strict right or wrong here obviously. It's simply personal. For me personally, if I ever found this to be part of my make up I would know I've taken a seriously step away from the person I wish to be; It is ok for me to lie to my lover on some occasions. If I found myself saying...
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    Confessing a Past Affair

    Interesting topic. My view is that primarily I first need to care for my own emotional well being in order to be in a position to provide care and support to my loved ones. If I were in a position that required ongoing lies, including omission of truth, I think that would destroy me. If I were...
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    I need help, my boyfriend is just dating one woman after another!

    Magdlyn, I feel you show great strength in asking for help. Many people who have been doing something for a while sometimes end up at a place where their ego prevents them from asking for help. I always find it impressive when people ask for help. And I'm sure you are doing a massive amount of...
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    Polyamorous Philosophy

    Something along the line lines of "I won't talk about my wife for the sake of making the philosophical argument simple" ain't never gunna work. The philosophical argument should be inclusive of her.. The conversation won't ever be simple if you discard a major component of the people involved...
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    Polyamorous Philosophy

    Out of general interest, when you share your objective personal viewpoints with your beloved wife and life partner... What are her objective personal viewpoints thus far ?
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    Kink bring down positive poly

    I find it really difficult to enjoy spanking/submissive fantasies whilst being the sole money earner and supporting husband and his child. I think it can mess with your head a bit. Particularly if you are a feminist of some description. I think it's a big messy wad of conflicting values and...
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    Truth & Consequences

    Elemental, I hope you are well. I'm not really on this forum much and I don't really pay attention. Over the years that I visit here and there, I come across stories. I read a couple of posts on your blog (not all), so I can't offer any comment other than; I can see that you have been through a...
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    Forced to hide our 'Poly' lifestyle..

    When they arrived off the plane.... Where was their home origin ? Had they moved far ?
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    Poly Isn't For Me/Tired of Sharing My Wife

    Matt, it's completely ok to leave a relationship if it's not bringing you happiness. If there is an aspect of your partner's personality that you simply can not accept, you are making the right decision. Also, on her side... It's not nice or healthy to be in a relationship with someone who can...
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    Boundary Dispute

    I've not really read the while thread, sorry bout that. I would like to cover the original topic though, the level of support a parent decides to give their children is so very individual. There's a festival I've wanted to go to for the last ten years. All of my mates go, but it's always on the...
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    We are not all Unicorn Hunters!!

    Yes, it must be difficult to not look like a unicorn hunter. Tough one indeed.
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    Struggling to make it work for us

    I should add, I have a poly background and my darling has a swinging background. We're 2 years in our relationship and still can't decide on where we sit together. There's no rush though :) I'd never want to pressure my darling and he would never want to pressure me. So, it's a good thing to...