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  1. fuchka

    Electrons Introduction

    You asked him if he was aroused by you having sex with her. He said no. Hotwifing is a thing, sure. I'm not seeing the flags here though. He encouraged her to pursue a relationship with you -- could simply be cos he saw how happy it would make her. His comment that you were making things...
  2. fuchka

    the story of a secondary

    Woah, these posts! And here I was excited that you posted one update @AnnabelMore but it's like you're baaack! But now, in convo with Mags, wot. I'm picturing you both up on a stage in comfy chairs wearing clip on mics, with a table in-between holding a carafe of water and two tumblers. Nothing...
  3. fuchka

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    Yeah it's awesome indeed. A photo montage vid with the map progression interleaved with pics of your hikes would be epic I reckon. Maybe you've already dreamt of this...
  4. fuchka

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    Saw the start of this post and the voice in my brain said "Show me your map!" You didn't disappoint. Well done!
  5. fuchka

    Friends and lovers

    I just got back from what might be our first, last and only family overseas holiday with all six of us travelling. Ocean maintains that he doesn't want to do anymore international travel... But he knows I still hope we can manage at least one more visit to his family's home country, with the...
  6. fuchka

    the story of a secondary

    Woah, middle school! So lovely to see you back here and to read your update.
  7. fuchka

    New to poly

    To me it actually sounds like you two may be compatible. Sounds like he values monogamy somewhat, or would be comfortable with committing to only having one romantic connection now or maybe later. Sounds like you're both using poly to mean "open" but not necessarily "many loves". Re meeting up...
  8. fuchka

    Friends and lovers

    I had a scan back and the ex-bf I mentioned above happened before I started blogging on here, and never got a nickname, go figure. I'll call him Skink. So I dated Skink for a while when he and Bonnet were together (and me and Grotto) were together. Skink and Bonnet broke up years ago, but...
  9. fuchka

    Kevin's Hetero MFM Poly-Fi V

    Does the hotel stay feel like a nice holiday at all? Tbh right now, the idea of being in a hotel with just one partner sounds heavenly, for whatever reason! (and no kids, for me, although I appreciate that's not an issue for you)
  10. fuchka

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    Everything's coming together!! With the cat cafe, are you considering it as a for-profit arm raising funds for other non-profit operations on site? (I.e. auxiliary for-profit) I don't know the terminology you'd be familiar with but this is also a common structure.
  11. fuchka

    I need opinions

    Thanks for clarifying further. Your wife's fantasy about the three of you being a big happy poly family in the future seems far from your own dreams... I hope that you're able to talk it out and hear each other. It's not wrong for her to fantasise but it might be naive at best / manipulative...
  12. fuchka

    I need opinions

    As for your friend and trust issues, from what you've said I can't see how your friend ought to have known better necessarily. Presumably she said thay you were open and had a DADT (don't ask don't tell) arrangement.
  13. fuchka

    I need opinions

    It seems you made an assumption here that your wife would "know" your best friend wouldn't be an appropriate person. She risked you finding out, and you did. You think it is inevitable you would learn about it; did she? That is, was it careless or wilful blindness? Regardless, you are hurt...
  14. fuchka

    Does compromise cause resentment?

    I wonder if it helps with the guilty feelings for you to appreciate that you are giving her a gift here - the gift of clarity. You know your comfort levels and have expressed that clearly. It's up to her how she responds. I assume you have also told her about your fears (that she would agree to...
  15. fuchka

    Trans female looking for advice.

    @LauryAnne I just properly read your reply to Mags. That makes sense to me, it's more a practical thing than an attraction thing. Thanks for clarifying
  16. fuchka

    Trans female looking for advice.

    I thought Mags was curious why you as a lesbian were not interested in dating someone who was pansexual (if you were otherwise attracted to them). Perhaps we are using words differently but to me, a lesbian could date someone who was bi or pan. It's a narrower concept to me to say lesbians are...
  17. fuchka

    Dealing with the breakdown fallout

    Ehhhhh. The problem I see here is the unwillingness or inability of one person to take responsibility for their own stuff. If you want to call that "weakness" @Hanky fine. Strong / vulnerable / weak aren't precision terms. Imo it's no shame to be weak, we aren't always strong all the time...
  18. fuchka

    Dealing with the breakdown fallout

    @Hanky I don't understand why you are fixated on men v women here. I think it's unhealthy to rely on one person for *all* your romantic relationship and friendship needs. It's too much for one person esp if your partner's grief over a poly breakup is causing you pain due to how they are...
  19. fuchka

    Trans female looking for advice.

    Physical attributes aside, what would you bring to a relationship? (Not expecting you to answer here but just a question for you to perhaps consider yourself) Gender affirming surgery can certainly improve self esteem; I hope your therapy helps and you continue to feel better about yourself...
  20. fuchka

    Friends and lovers

    I passed my licence and it's great to be able to share the driving again. Ocean is very pleased about that. There was a bit of a kerfuffle on the day of the test itself. My driving teacher who was meant to meet me so I could drive across town to the test in the driving school car, and use that...
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