Search results

  1. M

    getting emotional support for an unconventional living situation

    How do I have a productive discussion with non-poly friends/family about a situation that is a little disappointing but is overall a good thing? My partner Eli and I have always lived separately from each other and always will. Living apart works well for us--we would not be compatible living...
  2. M

    City Council Recognizes Polyamorous Domestic Partnerships

    Hey, did you guys see this? Somerville, Massachusetts city council recognizes polyamorous domestic partnerships:
  3. M

    a friend's negative judgments hide her own struggles

    I've been friends with Lily since college. We met when we were 20, and we're now 38. She had just gotten engaged to her college boyfriend Sam when I met her. Lily and Sam got married after college, had two kids around age 30, bought their dream house last year. Checking all the boxes. I like...
  4. M

    Metamour breakup & sad feelings

    So, I don't see this particular issue come up much...I feel sad and distressed that my metamour (now ex-metamour) is heartbroken over my partner. My partner Elijah broke up with his other partner, Arabella, this week. They had been dating for about 7 months, I think. I liked her--definitely my...
  5. M

    Starting out "full poly" vs. opening up slowly

    This issue came up on another thread, but I wanted to talk about it here (as the other thread was getting derailed). I've noticed a couple times lately that a newish-to-poly person is struggling with their partner's approach to poly in a new relationship--feeling that the partner is going too...
  6. M

    MFM triad of EAGLES raising chicks

    I am not making this up:
  7. M

    recurring patriarchal problem

    I keep noticing a recurring problem among some guys (almost always straight & cis-gendered) who are coming to the forum because they are struggling with a polyamorous or non-monogamous female partner: They cannot handle the slightest thought of their female partner doing something sexual with...
  8. M

    When poly folks throw a tantrum...

    I need to vent for a minute. When a poly person throws a tantrum and demands a partner cancel her date, it affects a lot of other people. Why would someone do this? My lover-friend (J) of a year-and-a-half met someone new about a month ago. She's been poly for a long time, with 2 partners of...
  9. M

    What to say to people who assume poly = group sex?

    This is kind of a non-problem, yet it's coming up in my life a lot lately as I am trying to be more open with friends/family about my dating life and to identify as poly. The issue is, when I say "polyamory" people hear "group sex." To be truthful, that's what I myself assumed polyamorous meant...
  10. M

    Interesting Article from Feminspire
  11. M

    Amelia Earhart's views on marriage

    Ooh, I just discovered my marriage vows! (If I should every wish to marry, which I don't). I just came across the text of this letter from Amelia Earhart to her future husband George Putnam. "Dear GPP There are some things which should be writ before we are married -- things we have talked...
  12. M

    Finding a primary when you already have a non-primary

    I know this topic comes up occasionally, but I haven't seen a specific thread for it. How difficult is it to look for (and find) a primary partner when you already involved with someone who is NOT going to be your primary partner? Is it hard to establish a "primary bond" when you are already...
  13. M

    Learning from mistakes vs. Moving on from the past

    My question isn't specifically related to polyamory (although my own personal past & mistakes are), but this is the coolest forum I know for general dating-related topics and I think it's an interesting topic, so here goes: Is there an easy way to distinguish between learning from your mistakes...
  14. M

    Serial Monogamy

    I'm confused about what people mean when they say "serial monogamy." I first heard the term in the context of therapy/advice columns, referring to a fairly common phenomenon: people whose only dating style is to have long-term, monogamous relationships. When one relationship ends, the "serial...
  15. M

    How to explain a lack of jealousy?

    I suppose I could add this to another thread, since it's similar to the "Polys Not Jealous?" and to other threads about explaining/ defining/ defending poly to friends & family. But I'll make a new thread to get more focused responses. Maybe I'm just re-treading old ground here, but bear with...
  16. M

    not-quite-poly: lovers & friends w/ benefits

    Poly means having multiple boyfriends/girlfriends/partners. The idea is to be serious & committed & to be building relationships with each of your partners... But there are other forms of non-monogamy that work better for some people. For example, I feel like I would rather have one or more...
  17. M

    Childhood Toys & Poly

    Funny thought: So, I was cleaning out closets in my parents' house and came across a box of my old Barbie dolls. I suddenly remembered the games I used to play with them as a kid. I was pretty imaginative and played out elaborate stories with all my toys, involving long-running plot arcs and...
  18. M

    Being Poly & Staying Friends with Your Ex

    Okay, here's a question that has been really confusing for me: Is there a connection between being poly and being more likely to stay friends with an ex? By "friends" I mean actual, close friends, someone who is truly in your life, someone you talk to regularly and make an effort to spend time...
  19. M

    Meera's Story

    Hello everyone, I've been reading for a while and making sporadic posts without actually telling my own story, mostly because it's very long and very painful for me. Here it is--the story that led me to seek this forum for support. I guess it's kind of my life story, but I'm not putting it in...
  20. M

    How does one get banned?

    I'm not sure where I should post this question... What does one do to get banned from this forum? I'm just curious because reading through some posts, I was very interested in the comments/questions by a member who, to my surprise, is listed as "banned." Her comments seemed very polite and...