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  1. Evie

    Help me understand

    Okay, that sounds slightly better and since it's a new relationship there's room for growth into it as well - increase in in-person time could be a future possibility as you become more entwined. Being so new, I'm guessing you're both in the throes of New Relationship Energy (NRE) sometimes...
  2. Evie

    In the garden

    I wish I was eloquent. I wish I could tell my and Tech's story with the words it deserves, but I never will. I have fragments of memories, moments that I cannot even order, chronologically and none of them are recent. This is a not a story about polyamory, so if that offends your...
  3. Evie

    Help me understand

    You aren't healing from your old relationship if your current one leaves you with a sense of worthlessness. Is your girlfriend and her other partner newly open in their non-mono relationship to have a rule that she has to go home every night? Why will you *never* get overnight dates? I'd find...
  4. Evie

    Sexual Health in Polycules

    Big deal. You can get that from all sorts, including penicillin. Thrush is just thrush. It's fixed with a single pill these days and you can be taking herbal stuff as a preemptive strike. In saying that, steaming the vagina is the frigging worst idea ever and this as is absolutely pathetic. I...
  5. Evie

    Forum upgraded - report issues in here

    Please please please address the edit window, it's killing being able to fix typos.
  6. Evie

    Poly dating: likes/dislikes, recommendations, and experiences...

    I added a temporary profile pic to help you out 😜
  7. Evie

    Am I doing the right thing?

    Please do everyone involved a favour and end your engagement now. You know that this relationship is not going to be sustainable as a monogamous marriage, it's already dysfunctional. So, talk to him and tell him you've realised that you really can't deny your desire for polyamory. You can do...
  8. Evie

    I need some help/guidance.

    Probably because you wrote that you were devastated after she had a hook up. It must have been an awful lot to process and it reads like you both jumped into her exploring her desires without too much anticipation of the consequences, which are now pretty significant. So, you'll stay...
  9. Evie

    Damn, you're a captivating writer.

    Damn, you're a captivating writer.
  10. Evie

    Poly dating: likes/dislikes, recommendations, and experiences...

    Hi Mags, not sure why you addressed this to me, I certainly agree it's super hard to connect in the middle of this stupid pandemic. I hate it. And I tried a bunch of actual dating sites last year and dear god what a nightmare. So yeah, I much prefer Fet as a place where conversations can begin...
  11. Evie

    New to this

    Definitely be kind to yourself, don't berate yourself for your feelings, or fight them, but rather recognise what you're feeling when you're feeling it, and realise that that feeling will pass (all of them do). Sure, you might feel it again another time, but you can employ the same process. It...
  12. Evie

    Poly dating: likes/dislikes, recommendations, and experiences...

    I met Adam at a post graduate students' weekly meetup. I met Puck on a Fet group, focused. I met Mike at a local munch. I met Hermit in amateur theatre, before I went professional, where I met Tech and Siege and two other of my significant exes. I met Lance on Fet, just on F&P. So, a mixture.
  13. Evie

    Privacy in a relationship

    If I'm deliberately spending just an evening with someone, my phone will be away. It's date time. If I'm spending 2-3 days with someone, my phone is going to come out now and then to check on other people/message boards/play a game.
  14. Evie

    Poly dating: likes/dislikes, recommendations, and experiences...

    Just realised I could change my vote, so fixed! I've met most of my current partners and friends through some kind of shared interest group.
  15. Evie

    Mono New to Poly (Anxiety & Scary)

    Then don't watch. If it's more the PDA stuff that you are talking about, I found that it bothered me less over time as I got to know my metamours better. When you talk about liking your metamours, are you meaning platonically, or are you somehow expecting yourself to form attractions to them?
  16. Evie

    Am I polyamorous?

    I greatly prefer one on one friendships and there is very little overlap between my closest friends/lovers. We wouldn't all hang out together just for fun. So that's certainly not an indicator of whether one is poly or not. But I get where you're coming from and that this type of friend group...
  17. Evie

    Change in all the areas of my life...

    I've seen this happen before 😂
  18. Evie

    In the garden

    Thank you both. I'm really quite devastated right now. Tech was a very important person in my life once upon a time. I want to write more when I can bring myself to. The service is on Friday. I'll be back something after that.
  19. Evie

    In the garden

    I got the call this morning that Tech died yesterday. I hope I can write something about him in the next few days.
  20. Evie

    Need help with ENM Consent Agreement

    A heartfelt conversation with your wife will be the bottom line, but I'm guessing you know that part and are currently looking into what options you could put on the table. You know what you want... discretion first and foremost, so you want to find someone out of town you can go and have sex...