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  1. K

    New Trio- already falling apart

    Very nice :) Hi Tamcat, I am so happy things have worked themselves out and that you all are able to feel more comfortable and connected now that you have both cleared the air. It feels so good to set aside the troubled feelings we can generate within ourselves and get back to loving each...
  2. K

    New Trio- already falling apart

    First, (((HUGS))) I understand that you are hurting right now. In your words I connect with my own experiences of feeling a panicking need of something outside myself. I have experienced that, need for attention, gentleness, hugs, urges/cravings for food, scent, substance (tobacco and caffeine...
  3. K

    Communication Differences

    Hi there, I am someone who takes a long time to process changes in my emotional life so I thought I would reply. You may even say I think in paisley too (or fractals ;-) I need a lot of alone calm time to feel balanced and not overloaded. I keep learning new skills which helps. But it doesn't...
  4. K

    Struggling

    While I agree that starting fresh and new is much easier, IME, I believe it would be wise to solidify your broken relationship and broken trust first as best you can before pursuing new relationships. It's true you may not have the negative baggage with the new person but you will still have it...
  5. K

    Struggling

    (((Hugs))) and my own experience Hi Magdalena, My DH and I have survived from an affair (of about a year or two *wow* I can't believe I'm forgetting how long it was :) plus other cheating events which led up to and included the longer affair. This was disclosed about 5 years ago (which I also...
  6. K

    Hi GG, I just wanted to say that I have been reading these forums for a few years now. My...

    Hi GG, I just wanted to say that I have been reading these forums for a few years now. My relationship has transitioned from LTR monogamy while young adults, to marriage/family, to DH cheating phase, through recovery, to open to poly. We are doing REALLY well right now. Our relationship has...
  7. K

    Songs that would be better with poly

    My Sweet Rose by Matt Costa This song helped me out a lot when we were first transitioning to poly/open relationship. I still play it to reassure myself at times :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CrOnSVtAUs
  8. K

    Veto Arrangements - Merged Threads, General Discussion

    I understand how hurt you can be at Derek and Jeni's choice but I guess I don't consider this veto. It reads to me like it was a mutually agreed upon decision between the two made after a week of deliberation. How is her stating her preferences (and/or boundaries) a veto (which I understand to...
  9. K

    In Love With My Best Friends Wife: Looking For Advice

    There is not just one right way If you are interested in your best friends spouse I think who you tell first or if you tell both at once depends on the nature of your relationships with both. For me, I know that if I had a best friend whom I considered was a lifer I would feel a need to talk to...
  10. K

    Worried my partner is going to leave

    Read the book! What's the harm? Hello, I can understand your upset. When you think your relationship is happily moving along and your partner says they would like to change things there can be a whole bunch of emotions that are sometimes hard to define. I can also understand how vulnerable you...
  11. K

    Not a competition, still feels like losing

    It shouldn't feel like losing. (2 of 2) Dear Sinew, (continued) I’ve done A LOT of work on myself- reading, writing, really thinking about my needs. If DH wasn’t in my life what would I be doing? What would I want my life to look like in his permanent absence if that came to be? What I...
  12. K

    Not a competition, still feels like losing

    It shouldn't feel like losing. (1 of 2) Hi Sinew, You are a very brave woman!!! Your message compelled me to come out of lurkdom to share my experience with healing deeply broken trust with my DH. I am pretty verbose so this will be two messages. I hope it is helpful to you. I read up on...
  13. K

    Why do things have to be so complex?

    Thanks This is a great thread for me to say hello and THANK YOU ALL being here!!! This forum, and others like it, have literally helped me put the pieces of myself and my life back together- from broken. I've never posted but I read, read, and read. I follow many of these stories closely and...
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