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  1. WarMan

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    "It also makes me anxious, because all I see when I think of saying it is how WarMan treated me with anything BUT love. It's just empty words when someone says they feel it but then their actions are garbage. I DO believe that WarMan loved me. I certainly loved him. But he was functionally...
  2. WarMan

    The story of Spork.

    Thanks so much for writing this. I've never understood that mindset.
  3. WarMan

    Unbinding the briars of my joys & desires

    You may have already read on Bluebird’s journal that she and I broke up today. Maybe later I’ll want to talk about why, and what happened. There are reasons, for where we ended up, most of which are related to my pain and my depression (or both) but right now I just wanted to list all the...
  4. WarMan

    Hey there. Yours is the only blog I follow here. I just wanted you to know that your...

    Hey there. Yours is the only blog I follow here. I just wanted you to know that your depression sounded exactly like mine. I just wanted to offer a listening ear if you want to message me anytime. *shrug* Just if talking to someone who understands would help. I hope you feel better soon.
  5. WarMan

    Unbinding the briars of my joys & desires

    If I didn't want advice, I wouldn't write here at all. I don't need to write to process my feelings. I'm just worried, because I know my own nature, and I know that constant exposure to negativity can breed the same in me. I'm not really talking about the negativity of others even, but my...
  6. WarMan

    Unbinding the briars of my joys & desires

    hmm, that's interesting. I mean, on one hand, Bluebird and I are very serious. I'm moving in with her... On the other hand, Bluebird always makes it very clear that being MARRIED to the other boys is a big deal to her, and is more significant than just dating... At this point, is she still a...
  7. WarMan

    Unbinding the briars of my joys & desires

    I’ve written this fucking update 5,6,7, 8 times now, counting last night. I keep really wanting to write here, but things keep getting in the way. When I DO have some free time, I feel overwhelmed and tired and I just don’t have it in me. 7 times I’ve started writing, had to stop, and then days...
  8. WarMan

    Unbinding the briars of my joys & desires

    **Warning, the following is a stream of consciousness and a wall of text. You have been warned.** Hey folks, So much going on lately. I’ve been wanting to write here for weeks now, but it’s just been too much. For starters, I’ve been traveling for work. I’m in Las Vegas all this week...
  9. WarMan

    Unbinding the briars of my joys & desires

    I don't think so, however, it upsets me to think about. That probably means that there is some sliver of truth there. I mean, our relationship for years has been a thing where both of us got things we couldn't get in our regular lives. Monkey got someone who was actively engaged with her, and...
  10. WarMan

    Unbinding the briars of my joys & desires

    Rumors of my demise were mostly right. But mostly dead, is still partially alive. So, I’ve got that going for me. Man, it’s been an INSANE few weeks. I’ve wanted to come back here and update so many times, but I’ve been so tired and so short of time that I haven’t. In fact, so much has...
  11. WarMan

    Leaf on the Wind

    I'm really sorry to hear about your Grandma. My condolences, I'm glad you were able to help your parents with their plane tickets, nothing makes me feel better in times like that than to be able to do SOMETHING to make things even a little bit better.
  12. WarMan

    Unbinding the briars of my joys & desires

    By Monday I felt really crummy. It was bad enough that I called in sick to work. Just a terrible cold, body aches etc. I contacted Bluebird and told her I was going to cancel our date night because I just didn’t feel well enough. I was more than a little dismayed when she complained to me...
  13. WarMan

    Unbinding the briars of my joys & desires

    **Disclaimers** Any time I’m going back in time this far, I may have dates wrong, so If you know me, and I’ve inadvertently gotten a day or time wrong, please just assume that I’m a man-child who can’t track time. So much has happened since my last update. I’ve been so tired, both physically...
  14. WarMan

    Leaf on the Wind

    I'm glad it helped. This is what I'm going through with Monkey right now. She's going through so much Heavy Shit, that I am inclined to be very generous when judging her actions. I know that lots of people reading my blog think I'm overly indulgent. That's it, right there. Yup. OMG. I...
  15. WarMan

    Leaf on the Wind

    Hey Autumn, Just wanted you to know that I've been reading your blog, and I've been feeling for you during your last few updates. Feeling (or perceiving) someone we love pull away is always hard. The only thing I can offer you is the perspective of someone who has struggled with depression...
  16. WarMan

    Unbinding the briars of my joys & desires

    That’s a pretty succinct summary of my situation. I don’t know if the statistics are in anyone’s favor. Relationships tend to fail more often than they succeed I think. I think everyone has to eventually accept that and come to terms with it and decide whether they want to keep trying or not...
  17. WarMan

    Unbinding the briars of my joys & desires

    Thanks all for your kind words and attention. So, last night I met Bluebird at her local Panera bread and we talked. I brought a pencil and notebook, and we sat and addressed our concerns one at a time. I wrote down two columns, one said "Warman's issues" and the other said "Bluebird's...
  18. WarMan

    Unbinding the briars of my joys & desires

    I frankly don’t even remember what followed, other than our resolutions. 1) Bluebird asked me to think about whether I really wanted as much time as she had been giving me or not. I agreed to do so 2) I agreed to think about why I feel the need to argue in a non-emotional manner (Bluebird...
  19. WarMan

    Unbinding the briars of my joys & desires

    Note: All quotes here that are mine are verbatim. All quotes from other people are paraphrased to the best of my ability. I have tried to be true to the sentiments expressed, as I understood them. Previously, I wrote here: "... the important thing is that I said to Bluebird that I...
  20. WarMan

    Unbinding the briars of my joys & desires

    Hey 70’s/80’s kids, remember this one? You’ll see your problems multiply if you continually decide To faithfully pursue The Policy of Truth. Man, that was a great album. - True Story, My grandma asked me what I wanted for my birthday that year. I told her I wanted the latest album by Depeche...
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