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  1. Alleycat

    Primaries, secondaries and couple privelege

    Another aspect of couples privilege is the objective limiting of relationship aspects with "secondary" partners, be it "I can't do X Y Z with you", or "I can only do X Y Z with you" or "We can do X Y and A but not Z, and we certainly can't call it X Y A or Z." In some cases this isn't limited...
  2. Alleycat

    Long time abscent, and back again.

    Hi folks, been away from the site for a long time due to life stuff and questions of personal identity (great stories........well, great in as much as lessons for others). Swinging back around to touch base as I figure stuff out.
  3. Alleycat

    Sex VS BDSM

    The same? No. But very closely related, in fact more overlap between the two than plenty of people admit.
  4. Alleycat

    Thoughts on being his secret?

    Polyamory: It's ok to to have non-standard relationship ethics, and behave outside of standard sexual and interpersonal conventions, Except when your ethics and/or behaviours are different than those of the morality police in the echo chamber. Then your just a terrible awful cheating hussy...
  5. Alleycat

    Thoughts on being his secret?

    Having been a few times someone's "secret", and seeing where it can lead; One both or all relationships involved around the secret can be negatively impacted if things come to light in a sudden and negative way. (3rd party accidental discovery by a mutual acquaintance for example) which tends to...
  6. Alleycat

    Open relationship with pick up artist

    Speaking as one who in the past has occasionally worn the PUA hat; (Not proud of if, but not ashamed of it either) - it IS a numbers game, a PUA is keeping "score" However in doing so, it's impossible to develop quality interpersonal relationships and connections as attempting to do so would be...
  7. Alleycat

    Weight loss support

    175 lbs. Hit it as of today finally. Now to start the bulking cycle. :)
  8. Alleycat

    In which Alleycat finds himself in a moral quandary

    Little update; Been meaning to post more but life and such things get in the way of internet, "Freyja" has made headway and has brought the non-monogamy talk to the table with the BF, which went better than expected, which is to say they've had the normal initial discussions and come to some...
  9. Alleycat

    In which Alleycat finds himself in a moral quandary

    So, recently I've come into a situation that is unusual to me, by that I mean one where I'm being asked to bend my usual code of ethics, and I find myself fairly agreeable to the request. A long term friend of mine, (lets call her Freyja) and I have had a mutual latent attraction which we never...
  10. Alleycat

    Any advice on how to protect partner financially?

    You might have to go private (not company provided) and pay out of pocket for coverage, wills and whatnot are less of a hassle.
  11. Alleycat

    Your most recent OKC messages. post em here!

    Sent From a 23/F 60% match whos profile I glanced at: "Nobody likes retrosexuals anymore." Wha? Huh? I think at this point I'm just keeping the profile active out of morbid curiosity.
  12. Alleycat

    "The Burn" is "The Pleasure"?

    Sounds intersting but also like a huge risk of dropping oneself on the head. If you have access to a gym with a proper stock of weights and racks (bench, and squat rack ..... you'd never belive how many "gyms" do not have an actual squat rack). Try wendlers 5/3/1 workout. It's simple, it's...
  13. Alleycat

    "The Burn" is "The Pleasure"?

    Squats: 'cause nothing else hurts so good. Truthfully if I go too long without hitting the weights, my body starts to give me little cramps that feel like withdrawal cravings, couple of quick sets with the free weights sets me right again. Also as an interesting side note, I don't seem to get...
  14. Alleycat

    Online Dating… OKCupid... what a trip. What works for you?

    Personally I'm about to drop the OKC account. From what I've been told and shown, the site is so flooded with douchebags and creepers that its really not worth my time to try and swim in a pool that polluted. I didn't think it was that bad until a friend of mine showed me her daily inbox...
  15. Alleycat

    Burning Man: are you going?

    sadly not this year, I have a few acquaintances that will be attending however that have promised me I'm going to miss a specular time.
  16. Alleycat

    Your most recent OKC messages. post em here!

    Quote: Ur hawtness bb!!!!! We shud chill ot an smoke sum weed Be cool!! :) ^.^ End quote. Sent from no pic, 0% match 0% friend 94% enamy (how does that work?) -> There is nothing even remotely marijuana positive on my profile. And I don't look like a burned out hippy in any of my pics...
  17. Alleycat

    Weight loss support

    HGC . . . I'll just leave this over here Original manuscript. food for thought for anyone trying this diet. personally I would never encourage anyone to do this diet, the science behind it in the original script is so lite its...
  18. Alleycat

    Weight loss support

    6ft, down to 185 lbs, aiming to put on around 15 lbs of muscle (if not more) and get rid of that stubborn last 10 lbs of fat, love handles ect. . . . .. . really that last 10 lbs are damned near impossible to get rid of, I keep plateauing at 180 and cant seem to get that last bit off. Diet is...
  19. Alleycat

    Isn't this poly behavior?

    . . . snipped for abbreviation, edited for emphasis . . . . Spot the contradiction, and run for the hills. Someone else had mention this is likely an "oops daddy" trap situation. I'll agree with that, and add that it has a high probability of getting dumped into your lap afterwards if said...
  20. Alleycat

    Dating an ex?

    Lurking about. ;)