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  1. kdt26417

    Kevin's Hetero MFM Poly-Fi V

    4:21 p.m., Friday the 3rd SB and I went shopping last night after dinner (dinner was from-the-freezer potato pierogi, plus broccoli/cauliflower); BH requested some alcohol, so since he got some, I got some too. Port. I am enjoying a cup of it right now, and will have some more tomorrow. Ginger...
  2. kdt26417

    Ello ello

    Greetings Raven, Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc. First off, congrats on your young one coming into your lives; after nine years of trying, that's got to be a euphoric turn of events. You will definitely have a challenge balancing your two partners, as babies demand...
  3. kdt26417

    I'm at a loss about what to do.

    Hi FlowerForest, It sounds like Ashley is now romantically connected to both Justin and Molly. So that happened first, and then Justin and Molly invited you too to be romantically connected to both of them. In the meantime, you are just platonic friends with Ashley. I don't think you want to...
  4. kdt26417

    I'm at a loss about what to do.

    Hello FlowerForest, That's odd that Molly approved of Ashley but not so much of you? I take it Molly decided to explore a new kind of flirtatious thing with another woman, and that woman then offered to explore the same kind of thing with you. Correct me if I got that messed up! or, do you mean...
  5. kdt26417

    Kevin's Hetero MFM Poly-Fi V

    4:08 p.m., Thursday the 2nd As this is New Mexico, the Groundhog definitely saw his shadow, and we will therefore get six more weeks of winter. 🤪 I forgot to mention: that SB is pulling Eddie out of agility classes entirely. This is because of his hip problems (and possibly associated leg and...
  6. kdt26417

    Poly Fallout, advice needed

    Hi JRPCandle, For me, the thing that secondary did wrong was, not that he was seeing someone else, but rather, that he didn't tell you first and get your consent. That was where he strayed from the definition of polyamory, and did wrong by you. I suppose he figured you wouldn't give your...
  7. kdt26417

    Polytriad and parenting

    Hi Dan, I'm sure that coming out will be easier for polys in the future -- I just don't know how far in the future. Sometimes you have to block/delete people on social media, it depends on whom your polyness will spread to. It would be interesting to find out what rights you have in the...
  8. kdt26417

    Kevin's Hetero MFM Poly-Fi V

    1:35 p.m., Wednesday the 1st We did get takeout yesterday -- from Taco Cabana, one of my favorite places. I got what has become my go-to, a bean/cheese burrito plus an eight-ounce cup of guacamole. I don't usually use it as a dip, I eat straight out of the cup. And there is such a thing as bad...
  9. kdt26417

    Poly Fallout, advice needed

    Hi JRPCandle, It sounds like there's some hope that the secondary won't hurt you again in the future. I would try to rebuild the trust with him and go on from there. Him getting therapy would be part of that process. Sympathetic regards, Kevin T.
  10. kdt26417

    Polytriad and parenting

    Hi DanCliffAsh, You're right, coming out has to come naturally. Snowbunny (my partner) and Brother-Husband (Snowbunny's other partner) are frankly terrified about losing their families and jobs. I would come out to my family, but then it could spread to the other families (and coworkers) via...
  11. kdt26417

    Poly Fallout, advice needed

    You could, of course, still break up with your husband/primary, and try to repair things with your secondary. Is your secondary very contrite about the cheating? How reliable is his commitment to stop cheating? or is he inclined to continue that affair? Another option would be to break up with...
  12. kdt26417

    Kevin's Hetero MFM Poly-Fi V

    2:14 p.m., Tuesday the 31st Ginger (Eddie too?) has her agility class tonight, so I won't have a lot of time to catch up on my internet stuff. I did catch up yesterday, after which we had takeout from the Range Café (via DoorDash). It's hopeful that we'll have takeout tonight, but not guaranteed.
  13. kdt26417

    Poly Fallout, advice needed

    Hi JRPCandle, I'm very sorry that your secondary has been cheating on you. Ironically, I guess it makes more sense now to do as your husband wanted, to break up with your secondary and work on your marriage. That is if you even want to be with your husband anymore, after the way he treated you...
  14. kdt26417

    Polytriad and parenting

    Hi DanCliffAsh, I see your point about it being tough to come out to your family. I'm (we're) not brave enough to come out to my (our) family (families). I've talked to my partner about outing ourselves, but she is having none it. There must be polyamorous social workers somewhere. I'm in...
  15. kdt26417

    Polytriad and parenting

    Hi DanCliffAsh, It is sad and unfortunate that you can't disclose your poly-triad status to the adoption/fostering agencies. Poly should actually be a point in your favor; instead, they make it out to be some kind of immoral and irresponsible thing. I have to say, you're lucky you could be out...
  16. kdt26417

    Kevin's Hetero MFM Poly-Fi V

    12:51 p.m., Monday the 30th The new fridge/freezer is supposed to be delivered today. BH and SB have emptied out the old fridge/freezer, unplugged it, removed the doors, and moved it to by the front door. They are also working on the dining room (removing the old wallpaper). SB has today off...
  17. kdt26417

    Kevin's Hetero MFM Poly-Fi V

    1:18 p.m., Sunday the 29th Yesterday was extra busy, both on the forum and IRL. Things seem to have calmed down a little bit today, but I don't know whether I'll get caught up on my other internet stuff. I haven't caught up on Facebook in like a week. We had veggie fried rice with chicken...
  18. kdt26417

    first heartbreak in nearly a decade.. am confused, embarrassed, sad.

    Hello banjowall, It sounds like you were heavily affected by NRE with M -- and then the NRE wore off, prompting M to worsen his behavior, and prompting you to see M's true colors. By no means is this unheard-of, NRE (and its disappearance) can have that effect on people. Don't beat yourself up...
  19. kdt26417

    Polytriad and parenting

    Hi DanCliffAsh, In this day and age, people are not accepting enough of polyamory for you to out yourselves as poly to the world. You have to stay in the closet, at least to some extent. I am in the closet too: Maybe two or three people (besides this forum) know about my polyness, while the...
  20. kdt26417

    Navigating lying, baggage, and love

    Hi Pim, One consequence you could attach to a boundary is that if he crosses the boundary (e.g., if he violates your privacy to get at a nude photo), you will have a temporary breakup with him. That is, you will go live somewhere else for a few weeks or a few months. And maybe you will also go...
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