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  1. T

    Not sure if can do poly or not.

    Thank you, to everyone who posted, and let me ramble and try to sort out my thoughts and feelings here. It was a big help, and I really appreciate this board for all the great advice and support. I really can't thank you guys enough for the wonderful advice and feedback. I wanted to add...
  2. T

    Not sure if can do poly or not.

    We talked, rather unexpectedly. It felt as though he needed to get something off his chest. He asked me what issues I had about his friend. I was nervous- I guess since the question was out of the blue. I told him, the red flags I'd seen about her, the fears I had about a second relationship...
  3. T

    Not sure if can do poly or not.

    Q is my boyfriend and dom, and I did get permission from him to do the scene at the party, but with the restrictions he wanted that nothing sexual occurred because he wasn't comfortable with that right now and I understood and was fine with that. He had another girlfriend/sub when he and I...
  4. T

    Not sure if can do poly or not.

    I knew, on some level, that I should have done this...and tried to. But in the past, he's seen that as "running away", and has asked for me not to do it, so when I made the request and he didn't want me to go, I stayed and just tried not to get hooked in to arguing. Tried to stay neutral...
  5. T

    Not sure if can do poly or not.

    I told him I told the friend that. He and I are working on being open and honest about things so I wanted to let him know what I'd said to her (she would have just passed it along to him anyway.) I am not clear what he was upset about either- although I suspect there were a lot of factors...
  6. T

    Not sure if can do poly or not.

    I'd like to add some more info to clear up the questions you posed, GalaGirl- heading to bed now, but the main thing I wanted to add is re. this: My asking him repeatedly if we could wait and talk about it when we were calmer was in the course of the 2 hour fight, in which he was upset and...
  7. T

    Not sure if can do poly or not.

    I first posted a while back...feels like years ago but I guess it was only a few months ago. Since then, so much has changed. I think my head is still spinning. My dad, who I was very close to and taking care of, died. I made the long avoided decision to separate from my husband. I've been...
  8. T

    fearful but wanting so bad ...

    I would personally say, consider if your life would still be better off in the new state you are moving to if the relationship was not a factor? Given the doubts you are expressing in your post- is it possible you are too carried away with the fantasy of how you want the relationship to be...
  9. T

    New Trio- already falling apart

    Katrpillar- thank you for your post, that really does sound just like what I need to do right now. Q is busy, stressing over all the changes in his life, and I think A has sort of stepped back to let things settle, so despite the fact that this is a scary time for me and I wish I could get more...
  10. T

    New Trio- already falling apart

    Lesson learned here: sometimes things really aren't as bad as they seem to a poor, nervous, panicking mono in a long distance relationship with a poly with NRE. Update- FINALLY was able to sit down with Q and talk to him in a calm, relaxed manner without either of us over-reacting emotionally...
  11. T

    New Trio- already falling apart

    It is hard right now. Going into the move, I had pretty good feelings about us making this trio thing work. I was feeling pretty hopeful about things, about all of us wanting to make it work and caring about each other. Now I am in panic mode, after the way the last 3 days have gone and I'm...
  12. T

    New Trio- already falling apart

    Update- and anyone with advice for a new mono/poly triad V would be greatly welcomed. I think we're running into some serious problems with NRE and I'm honestly scared we might not make it through this, despite I think all three of us wanting to. Q and I have had a romantic and d/s long...
  13. T

    New Trio- already falling apart

    GalaGirl, you give the best advice...thank you. Everything you said made sense, and yeah- definitely emotional flooding. Looking back now, I wish one of us had thought to set a time, a day after the move, to try to get together to settle, to talk, to connect. I was concerned about both of...
  14. T

    New Trio- already falling apart

    I've posted her before, about a previous relationship set- me, my husband, and my long distance relationship with my boyfriend/dom, Q. Since then, working through a lot of issues, I decided to finally separate from my husband after being stuck in limbo for years in an unhappy, unfulfilling...
  15. T

    Please- need advice

    Updates, I guess, on my respective relationship situations. After months of soul searching, talking to a therapist, my mom, and friends, as well as reading a lot on various related subjects, I've realized that at this point, I think my husband and I would be better off separating and I broached...
  16. T

    Please- need advice

    AnnabelMore- as much as it hurts to think about, I think you're probably right. I don't think I'm dealing with things very well and I am very intimidated by the idea of him being with someone else. As much as I like and believe in polyamory as a valid and healthy relationship configuration, I...
  17. T

    Please- need advice

    Things seem to have crashed and burned again. I started seeing a therapist, but one week after our first appointment, my dad died. I was very close to him and was taking care of him and now my life is completely upside down and I am back to struggling with both relationships. I had a question...
  18. T

    Please- need advice

    Just an update- I've been working so hard on this...I think, despite the difficulty, it's been good for me as a person because it's forced me to really do some internal emotional work on myself, some bad habits, destructive habits that truly didn't like about myself and I'm actually pleased...
  19. T

    Hello- I felt a little nervous about contacting you, but I wanted to tell you how much I admire...

    Hello- I felt a little nervous about contacting you, but I wanted to tell you how much I admire your posts and advice. You seem to be able to lay things out so well, and so objectively that I have learned a lot just from reading your posts in other threads. I wanted to ask if you would...
  20. T

    Please- need advice

    I'm going to wait for some counseling before making any hard choices, trying to keep to the idea of a holding pattern for this month...but it's growing harder. Virtually every interaction with my husband seems to add to that feeling that, while I do care about him, there is no attraction, no...
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