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  1. Q

    Feeling incredibly sad and lost

    I have been surprised at the times when I hear that people lie when their partner is open to the truth without repercussion. It may be something that can happen again. Or it may have been a one time issue that will not repeat. I think you have to understand why he lied in the first place to...
  2. Q

    little advice on jealous

    I am in a quad where my wife and I are dating another couple. One time my wife is talking to me and she says something like "I don't think i could share my boyfriend with another woman." (This was because someone at his work was flirting with him.) I just looked at her and asked, "Like his...
  3. Q

    Ideal world: Future poly?

    Robert Heinlein wrote about polyamory a lot in his books (though many get weird fast and his characterization of women left something to be desired.) But he dealt with many types of marriage like ones that were more like a club with a fixed number of members. I would hope that it would be...
  4. Q

    Accidental Polyamory....

    We have talked about moving in with the couple we are dating. But I am trying to stick to the advise I one heard: "Do not move, change jobs or move in until after 6 months of dating." NRE can easily hide issues that may later come up. But I completely understand the temptation.
  5. Q

    Not too sure how I feel Right now

    Maybe he would have told you later. Maybe not. At least he was honest when asked. And people do dumb things in the heat of the moment. You have to make some safer sex choices. But I would focus more on the idea that he was honest when asked and talk about how to avoid this in the future.
  6. Q


    Vetos tend to be a bad thing long term. Some people use it short term as a crutch to help their other partner along. It is better to go with an idea where you agree to work through issues as they arise. Your partner will have to realize that other relationships are not a threat because...
  7. Q

    Relationship Configurations

    Let me put my ASCII art skills to the test: o---o |\..| |.\.| |..\| x---o It is a quad where I am the 'x'. My wife is dating my girlfriend's husband. I drew a diagonal because my wife and my girlfriend are opened to a possible more-than-friendly but currently undetermined relationship.
  8. Q

    Festive awkwardness: how can I help myself here?

    It sounds like you are progressing pretty well. Being ok with all of this goes against social norms and requires a lot of learning about yourself. So give yourself credit for making it this far. Try to understand what bothers you about your gf kissing this guy or bring with the guy. Is it...
  9. Q


    I wouldn't make too much out of them starting up when you leave the room. There are a lot of possibilities. It could be NRE. It could be that they feel awkward and feel sex would break the tension. It could be that it is easier to start up sex when it is two people than three. I think it is...
  10. Q

    New here-need advice re: open marriage...

    You could get a meeting of your friends and your wife to talk about what happened. Make it a general airing of feelings. Try to encourage everyone to honestly say what they want/desire. It may be awkward at first, but it could open up new grounds.
  11. Q

    Accidental Polyamory....

    Similar situation here. It started out out with friends of my wife and I. It was suppose to be more of a friends with benefits type relationship, but it went full poly very quickly. We are figuring out things as we go. So far, we have managed to work past many issues. The main advise I have...
  12. Q

    I'm new here. Is it possible for a mature single Scottish woman to explore polyamory?

    Are you interested in both of them? Have they expressed an interest in you? Have you ever tried polyamory before? But beyond that it is about reading up on it, communication and finding good people.
  13. Q


    Why not use the word "warlock." Isn't that a male witch? (Just curious.)
  14. Q


    If magic were real, then it should be able to be studied in a scientific type of experiment. And then it would becomes science. This is in a sense the premise to Ghostbusters.
  15. Q

    My Journey from agnostic - atheist

    The idea is based on whether someone is being dogmatic or being skeptical. You can not outargue dogma. If someone says nothing will change their mind, you are dealing with dogma. If someone says something like "If XXX happened or if YYY happened, then I may change my belief" you may be dealing...
  16. Q

    My Journey from agnostic - atheist

    Unfortunately, that may be the case. If I ask the question, "Is there any evidence that would cause you to doubt your beliefs," then most of the time I get a "no" answer. At that point, they have admitted that dogma outweighs logic or reason. All you can do is try to reduce the dogma by showing...
  17. Q

    My Journey from agnostic - atheist

    I got into a discussion about hell with a few Christians and they were all over the place on it. Here is a website that shows the Bible verses that support a fiery, horrible place of torture and fire that is not separation from God. From what I can tell, the Christians who object to this idea...
  18. Q

    "The Christian Marriage"

    I have talked with several Christians about marriage and the Bible. We ended up talking about gay marriage, Biblical view on marriage and how husbands should treat their wives. The obvious gay marriage tends to come up, but it is dealt with in a weird way. The Old Testament says to kill them...
  19. Q

    Poly in loving relationship with Mono. Advice?

    Mono / poly relationships are common enough where the mono person usually chooses to be mono. I have a poly friend who married a woman who can only accept monogamy. He said he will stay with her but he kind of regrets marrying her. I would suggest asking her to read a book on polyamory. Ask...
  20. Q

    Woman has suggested polyamory to my husband

    I am sorry for your loss. It is hard to give advise because I don't know their side of the issue. It sounds like they are both being disrespectful and controlling. I think you should decide what you want. Do you want to be with your husband? Ignoring this current women, could you be ok if he...