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Yeah, the programming is a bear. The language used when discussing romance doesn't help, either. MY girlfriend. I BELONG to you. You BELONG to me. You are the ONE for me. My heart is YOURS. It's all ownership based! So when I think about the fact that Ms. Fisher is Pete's girlfriend, my brain...

That seems likely, and it's a little embarrassing. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but I don't think I was doing so for Pete. I don't think I should feel bad about not completely trusting him; I hardly know him. But maybe I was unduly suspicious that he would try to edge me out...

That's exactly the kind of feedback I was looking for, thanks! I do like the idea of having some more time with Ms. Fisher, which actually has improved a lot recently anyway. I'm not sure if that's because of his new interest, but that seems like a positive take on my response that I wouldn't...

I just found out that Ms. Fisher's other BF (Pete) has just met another woman, and is now giving polyamory a try for himself. I mean, I think it's odd that he didn't consider himself a poly participant before, but never mind that. When I found out he was taking up another relationship, it felt...

So I offered Ms Fisher a couple of apologies today. Shortly after I got home from work, I discovered that our internet was down. I checked, and it's a small outage that might not be repaired until tomorrow morning. I had to break the news to Ms Fisher that she wouldnt be able to work tonight...

Do your kid a favor and dont let them believe that life will be any easier for their atvantages. Tasks may come easily, but staying confident and motivated takes work.

Bingo. I'm not sure what the DSM-5 thing is, and I was never a heavy or habitual drinker, but I checked every other box on that card. I never really thought about how encouragement could be so detrimental to my development, but I do have a fixed mindset from it. I feel like I'm going to have to...

My mother is a functioning alcoholic, but the worst that ever caused would be impassioned, repetitive ramblings about something she sees as profound. I didn't know that was a thing. Looks like I have more reading to do, thank you! Hopefully I'll find some more relatable circumstances there.

The Magicians is another good one for that; the characters Elliot and Margo are poly. The Wheel of Time has a poly protagonist, if a book would be better. That's a fantastic series anyway! It sounds like your head is in the right place to explore poly! I hope your husband is open to the...

I think I've found a point of resistance to my personal growth, and I'm not sure what to do about it. I think I mentioned at some point that I seem to suffer from golden child syndrome. It makes sense, on the surface. I grew up with a great deal of praise and encouragement. My older sister was...

I've actually struggled a lot with this motivation grey area. In my situation, I'm the one new to poly, and I am frequently checking myself to make sure I'm not going along with poly out of a desire to please my partner. I know I want to make those decisions with my own happiness and fulfillment...

Well, I've been doing a lot of self reflection these past few days, and I think I've reached some realizations, but it's still all a jumbled mess in my head. Today, I'm committing as much as I can to words, in the hopes that it will help me sort out what I need to do. After all the extra...

Hi! Welcome to the forum! I've been here for a couple of months, and the community is great! Are you new to poly? There are plenty of people here, from all sorts of backgrounds, ready to offer advice and guidance. What's your story? :)

Working on communication. And an ulcer.

Mostly, yes. The style of poly I have adopted is a bit different, though. I don't think I would ever be comfortable bring someone else into our relationship. My partner and I each have our own other relationships. There are no concerns about whether or not they fit our family, because those...

I do have a blog here on the forum, but I haven't taken it anywhere else yet. https://polyamory.com/threads/i-should-have-known.153920/ Thanks for your interest! Maybe at some point I'll put some of my poetry up in the Fireplace board, if there is any interest in that.

I have to get better at telling the difference between kitchen sinking and relevant statements that I'm just being resistant to, or just not picking up. I know that effective listening should clue me in, but when I'm focused on something particular, like a boundary I want to explain, or a...

That's a lot of discussion time! Good on you! If I might ask, what is your motivation for trying poly? Adventure? Growth? After so much time discussing, what do you have left to consider? Not that I'm advising haste, I'm just curious.

Actually, I've come to realize today that the big past crime card is still valid. I haven't forgiven myself for the way I've treated her, and when I am confronted with it, the part of my brain that cares shuts down, and I become abusively inconsiderate and reactionary. I don't accept new...

You should make needles with those fine points. I can't tell you all how grateful I am for your support here. I can come in here and say all the things I want to say without fear of destroying something beautiful. You guys tear down my BS like piranhas on a chicken leg! I'm looking forward to...