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    My boyfriend is dating his ex (help!)

    I'm sorry you struggle. Are you both on the same page on this agreement or not? Because to me it is not clear. I agree not to date your friends or your exes. I agree not to date your friends or my exes. I agree not to date your friends or ANY exes -- yours or mine. Can you see how if I can...
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    Allosexual husband of an asexual wife explores options

    You are being in the PRESENT. You saw a counselor. You made a framework and have a plan. You did the preparation. Now you have outside stressors. It's okay to wait a few weeks or few months. You are making the plan for the short-term future. If outside stressors keep on happening, what's the...
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    Jealous being the girlfriend of a man in a poly relationship with his wife

    I'm sorry you struggle. To me, it sounds like you actually want monogamy. You maybe went into this to try and see, and after trying you saw that polyamory really wasn't your deal. But now you have feelings for the guy, so it makes it harder to break up and walk away. Is that the problem? For...
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    Help... NRE fading

    I'm sorry you struggle. NRE is the initial phase of a relationship, all pink clouds and fluffy lalas -- like feeling high. But it is not a sustainable thing. Eventually all that "wheee!" stuff fades, reality kicks in and you get to see if you are actually compatible long term, without the NRE...
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    She ended things, but I don't want it to be over

    Thank you for more information. I do sympathize. Grief is hard. You WILL feel like you are just "going through the motions" with a lot of things, at the beginning of the grieving process. Going emotionally numb or "feeling empty" is sometimes part of it too. You seem to understand you are...
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    She ended things, but I don't want it to be over

    Since she is not up for couple counseling, will you be getting individual counseling for yourself instead? I don't understand this as written, with no names. I can't tell which "her" is wife and which "her" is daughter. Could you please bew willing to clarify? Correct me if I get it wrong...
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    She ended things, but I don't want it to be over

    I'm sorry to hear about the break-up. :( You sound like you are grieving. I encourage you to talk to a counselor so you get some support through the stages of grief and through the divorce process. Talk to a lawyer so the split can be fair and as peaceful and possible, under the circumstances...
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    Moving on after this

    Dang! o_O I'm sorry this all happened like this. It sucks. :( I hope you feel better for the vent. I think you did the right thing in breaking up with Aspen and walking away from all that drama and saving yourself and your own mental health. It is not your job to be Aspen's "relief oasis" or...
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    More Than Two - The Revised Edition

    Wayback machine caught it here. https://web.archive.org/web/20220628122506/https://louisaleontiades.com/when-good-intentions-cause-harm/
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    Poly-bombed

    In your shoes? I'd prepare for this to become a romantic/sexual relationship and not wait on wife to give you a heads up. You could talk that out with a counselor so you are prepared, emotionally, mentally and if this is the dealbreaker line for you? Prepared financially to break up. Then if...
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    More Than Two - The Revised Edition

    I'm also with ref2018. I'm sorry it's a 2nd edition rather than just a whole new book under a different title. Now that she has the full copyright to it, this was a chance to bury it and let it fade away. Instead, bringing this as a 2nd edition just invites comparisons to the first. I think new...
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    BF and I just started Poly and he’s going away with someone this weekend.

    Well, at least there's a time frame. Two cycles of 6/2 and then you make the final call on this "experiment." I'm sorry the weekend date wasn't good. I hope you keep dating others people though, and it gets better. Galagirl
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    BF and I just started Poly and he’s going away with someone this weekend.

    I could be wrong in my impression. It basically sounds like you want monogamy, but are considering putting up with some kind of DADT (Don't Ask, Don't Tell) arrangement for him to have casual hook-ups in order to avoid a break-up: he can "explore" however he wants, and you don't have to know...
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    Struggling with poly relationship

    I'm sorry you struggle. Polyamory requires you to have both hinge skills and meta skills. New relationship energy (NRE) lasts 6-24 mos. It sounds like you two were caught up in that for a time, and are just coming out of the "rose-colored-glasses" phase. Now you're seeing how she actually is...
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    Poly-bombed

    I'm sorry you struggle. I think you are grieving. You seem clear you don't want anything to do with polyamory, but are thinking about doing it anyway, to avoid a break-up with Haley. That sounds like the "bargaining stage" of grief, to me. I think in this case you need to be able to say, "I...
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    BF and I just started Poly and he’s going away with someone this weekend.

    Why are YOU doing this? It doesn't sound great. If he's going to just "live in the moment" -- are you going to be considered enough, in actual ACTIONS, and not just in words? Do you feel like doing your first poly V-relationship with an impulsive hinge? I'm kind of wondering how honest this...
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    My old flames make my heart swoon

    I'm sorry your mom treated you this way. Parents are supposed to provide for the children they chose to have without being so controlling and mean about their upbringing. No wonder you are worried that the things Zero gives are going to come with "strings" -- your Mom was like that. It sounds...
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    Relatively New to ENM: Finding Other People Attractive?

    So maybe you don't go into it looking for a long-term partner. It's okay to go into it just seeking a nice date. Maybe that's a good enough toe in the water to start. It could also be that you aren't into apps and online dating, and would prefer to meet people in person instead. You could join...
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    His primary partner cheated, what next?

    I'm sorry to hear this happened. :( You don't have to put the details of that here, but depending on how that went down, he may wonder why you didn't tell him sooner, if you already knew his wife was cheating. He may feel some kind of way about all that and may want a break from talking with...
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    My old flames make my heart swoon

    I'm sorry you struggle. I mean this kindly, okay? It kind of sounds like maybe you could benefit from living on your own. Zero loves doing stuff for you. But if he's doing SO much stuff for you that you are getting depressed living there all cooped up, a gilded cage is still a cage. You two do...
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