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  1. C

    BF and I just started Poly and he’s going away with someone this weekend.

    Thank you for saying so. And no, I am not poly, but was willing to try this for awhile. We are middle-aged divorcees who were never looking to get married or have a family together, so, I said I would try. My date wasn’t too great. 😂 I agree we are bending ourselves into pretzels. We are...
  2. C

    BF and I just started Poly and he’s going away with someone this weekend.

    Thank you for reply. I thought same… Is this actually poly, as in relationships, or occasional ENM hookups? As I said, it's all new to me, so I am trying to understand the different aspects of it. Dealbreakers? Not so close to our backyard nor our inner circles. 6 weeks together and exclusive/2...
  3. C

    BF and I just started Poly and he’s going away with someone this weekend.

    I guess to the fact that she was not going to be in any type of long-term relationship with him, and this may be a one-off, and that his relationship with me was the priority. She was quiet for a minute, processing apparently, and said ok, that’s fine, let’s go. To each her own. I mean what...
  4. C

    BF and I just started Poly and he’s going away with someone this weekend.

    I know what he tells me about her. She’s not sure she’s poly, but has a husband and two boyfriends, and was more than willing to go away with someone who, before he put the key in the ignition, told her he had no intention of being in a relationship with her, and that he won’t lose me and I come...
  5. C

    BF and I just started Poly and he’s going away with someone this weekend.

    Thank you for your response. We discussed his weekend at length yesterday. He said he told her I was the priority, that he had no desire to form a relationship with her, and that he wasn’t attracted to her. So I asked, "Why do it then?" He said, "To live in the moment." Sounds impulsive or...
  6. C

    BF and I just started Poly and he’s going away with someone this weekend.

    Interesting. We discussed the weekend afterwards yesterday. He said he is not attracted to her. He doesn’t want a relationship with her, told her I’m the priority and he had no intention of pursuing a relationship with her. She was a little cold at first, but came around. He said he thought of...
  7. C

    BF and I just started Poly and he’s going away with someone this weekend.

    “I'm not saying that to speak of you badly, more like to point out that he may really have felt his needs weren't being met in your relationship and his actions are more an indication of that than them being frivolous in the way you said they sounded.” I understand this, yet have a hard time...
  8. C

    BF and I just started Poly and he’s going away with someone this weekend.

    I'm not looking to psychoanalyze. We talk openly and often about everything. I listen to him CONSTANTLY. He constantly needs his feelings and needs validated. And I’m there. But some things I can’t vent to him, at least not yet, because I don’t want to possibly hurt him with what I’m thinking...
  9. C

    BF and I just started Poly and he’s going away with someone this weekend.

    I used it to convey how I was perceiving his, in my mind, very quick response to us splitting not even 3 weeks before. (The plans were made less than 3 weeks after our brief split.) I did communicate to him that I was hurt that he went right into the dating pool, immediately after I was gone...
  10. C

    BF and I just started Poly and he’s going away with someone this weekend.

    “To me, the guy is saying that he is poly now and is building polyamorous relationships. I don't think either of them are desperate because they won't appease OP's need for them not to go. The one showing desperation is OP because she is desperately trying to shame them into not going for her...
  11. C

    BF and I just started Poly and he’s going away with someone this weekend.

    Never said to him I didn’t want him to go or not to go. In fact, outwardly I’m being supportive. Not jumping for joy, but listening to him and not discouraging. I say these things here because I don’t want to discourage him. I’m trying to a) vent b) understand. That’s why i tell my story...
  12. C

    BF and I just started Poly and he’s going away with someone this weekend.

    Thank you for saying so. I told him I wasn’t even cold yet, and he was planning a weekend getaway. He said it’s not like that; they were going as friends. I said, "C'mon. No separate rooms." He said our brains are wired differently because he’s poly. He said he talks about me to her quite a...
  13. C

    BF and I just started Poly and he’s going away with someone this weekend.

    Hello, I posted an intro thread last week and everyone was very supportive. I'm new to this, very new. My BF of 2 1/2 years suspected he was poly a year into our relationship. After a 5-week break-up recently, we decided to explore it together. I am not poly, but took it as "I won’t know...
  14. C

    Glad I found this site. New and nervous.

    Thank you for sharing your optimistic view and positive experience.
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