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  1. DrunkenPorcupine

    is there a better word?

    I don't think it's unfair at all, and I certainly didn't mean for my comment to convey lack of fairness. Primary and secondary ARE (like it or not), sequential terms. If you use them at all, it implies hierarchy. I would never call two equal partners my "primaries". They're just "partners" or...
  2. DrunkenPorcupine

    Are you, as a community, guided by general rules of conduct?

    He totally is, frankly. As a libertarian, I often throw out the word "liberty" but I sometimes forget that not everybody connects "the freedom to make your own choices" with the natural inverse "the responsibility for your actions." You husband IS free to do what he wants. But that might hurt...
  3. DrunkenPorcupine

    Poly-Dating: How to meet like-minded people

    The only one who can really answer that is your SO, truthfully. For me, I don't care. If one of my partners is flirting, I'm hoping that she gets some response. I think she's amazing, having others recognize it is kinda cool for me. Myself, I don't flirt. I've always found it annoying. I just...
  4. DrunkenPorcupine

    is there a better word?

    There's a lot of input here by people who seem to find the word "secondary" to be negative. Perhaps those people should really evaluate themselves and their relationships before attempting to put a term to it. I have, willingly, been a secondary. We used that term among ourselves. I don't...
  5. DrunkenPorcupine

    The Devil's Threesome

    Yep, let them set the pace, but also know where you stand. You have your own boundaries as well. Also, enjoy. One of the best sexual experiences of my life was myself and a MF couple. He and I didn't do anything with each other, but focusing on this amazingly beautiful woman who was lucky...
  6. DrunkenPorcupine

    How do you practice polyamory?

    I take the opposite opinion than the original poster. I am highly individual centric and selfish. I remove the negative connotation from that word; some people struggle with it. So let's say "motivated by rational self-interest" instead. I do not own anybody. That seems like slavery and I've...
  7. DrunkenPorcupine

    Our story. How to deal with social situations?

    I act as I normally would. I want to be affectionate, I am. No worries. I recall the first time I EXPLICITLY told someone that I was in an open relationship (I am poly, my wife at the time was open). He asked casually "How come L isn't here?" and I responded with a casual "Oh, she's got a date...
  8. DrunkenPorcupine

    Poly and single?

    It's odd, I live in a community that has quite a few of openly poly folks and those that are seldom identify as poly. Many are open about having non-mono relationships, but they do not call themselves poly. For some, it's the instance on "love" being involved. Love is scary to some people and...
  9. DrunkenPorcupine


    Listening to music, a handful of select TV shows (haven't owned a TV in half a decade, but some shows are worth watching), outside-the-system activism (spoiling police checkpoints, organizing and attending disobedient rallies, street theater, et cetera), drinking, psychedelic drugs (I consider...
  10. DrunkenPorcupine

    Approaching a non-poly person

    I'd agree. Ask him out. If he's not interested, he'll let you know (hopefully graciously). If he's interested, you guys can take it from there, address the concerns and move on, be it together or seperately, but I think it's won't be too big of an issue. Far less than the wondering is, certainly.
  11. DrunkenPorcupine

    Poly-Dating: How to meet like-minded people

    I am lucky to be in a community where personal empowerment is looked upon as a good thing. There are so many openly poly folks here that finding someone who is open to poly is a non-issue. One of the greatest strengths is that people in my community who are mono have actually had to confront...
  12. DrunkenPorcupine

    Granite State Friends Of Polyamory

    I've created a page for people who are poly, or friendly to poly, to show solidarity. This page is not intended for poly folks alone. Anyone in New Hampshire who is interested in polyamory for any reason is invited to join and be supportive. Best friend who is poly? Join. Interested in...
  13. DrunkenPorcupine

    Solo poly people - what's your ideal?

    Oddly, I've never really thought about this before. I am somewhat cynical though... As a heteroflexible male living in a community that is horribly imbalanced in terms of gender (sharing the ideals of this community is almost a prerequisite for trust and attractiveness to me) I've never really...
  14. DrunkenPorcupine

    What you listening to Now :

    The Tide by the Spill Canvas, which just ended while typing this. Now, Skinny Love by Bon Iver.
  15. DrunkenPorcupine

    What are your "What ifs"

    My biggest "what if" is "What if I had not been openly poly". It's not a think with a SPECIFIC relationship or anything. But when my ex-wife and I opened out marriage (I'm poly, she is 'open'), it was clear that it was because I wanted to fall in love again. She wanted partners. This level of...
  16. DrunkenPorcupine

    What did you do today that made you smile?

    Today, I remembered my password for :)
  17. DrunkenPorcupine

    Word Association Game!

    Muffins (I sort of know why, but sort of don't. The Pillsbury Dough Boy made me think bakery-ish)
  18. DrunkenPorcupine

    National Poly Coming Out Day

    My first thought was "Oh no". Here's why. For me, realizing I was poly was a very individual thing. I knew it LONG before I began having non-monogamous relationships, but I was married and it hadn't been on the table. What really sparked it for me was being true to myself. "I need this" or "I...
  19. DrunkenPorcupine

    Lets start a revolution

    My comment was made mostly in jest. I disagree with your aim. I'm not really interested in getting people into poly. It's not for everyone. What I think IS a good game is to get people to communicate better. With themselves and with others, and then be true to that. Good communication and...