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  1. J

    Looking For That Dormancy

    I have never seen a line through the name either (Windows/Chrome) but it used to say Banned where it says New Member under avatar. I get an error though when I try to click through to profile - it says it is unavaialbe. Maybe the line through name is only for people who have Mod access when...
  2. J

    The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

    Specifically NOT an obstetrician. However you are absolutely correct about the rest. More accurately I should say "I attend deliveries." But that didn't flow, in a literary way, with the whole "babies" pathos of that post. "I attend the delivery of babies" sounds forced. Perhaps, "I catch...
  3. J

    Allosexual husband of an asexual wife explores options

    I agree. (Which is why I stopped responding there - sorry SpMd) As Mags said, the blogs are more protected - some people don't want others posting in what they are using as an open journal, others (like me) are happy with thoughful commentary. Fogul (correct me if I am wrong) seems to be ok...
  4. J

    The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

    Sex for Procreation Biology, sex, reproduction - take all of the brain out of it, our bodies have evolved in ways that are successful, at the population level, in encouraging procreation - egg meets sperm, implants in uterus, new human - the biological drives DON'T know anything about...
  5. J

    The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

    As usual...I was replying to a post elsewhere and got tangential. So I moved my musings here: Re: Gender I get that other people don't feel the same way that I do about my sex/gender (which is largely indifferent most of the time). I was born into a female-shaped body with hormones and...
  6. J

    Vicki's Journey Continues...

    I'm sorry that you have all of these frustrating tiresome things going on - it sounds exhausting. And there is a lot of things that you DON't have control over - namely things going on inside other peoples' heads, cancer cells multiplying, etc. I'd like to be able to tell you that things won't...
  7. J

    Compersion Stories?

    Compersion for me occurs when I either know and like my partner's partner or I can tell that the relationship is healthy and brings more happiness into my partner's life. If there is drama or I can't see what they see in the person then I give myself space and focus on my own stuff. I can make...
  8. J

    Events/holidays in a parallel poly relationship

    This is not specific to poly - blended families, families with partnered adult siblings. Be flexible and realize that you are not obligated to attend every event you are invited to. For instance, I don't go to weddings, funerals, baby showers, bridal showers etc., for anyone other than my...
  9. J

    FWBs with someone in an open relationship

    My arrangement with MrClean fits the bill from my end. Sexual friendship, not deeply involved. We usually schedule last minute because I have a break in my day and he lives near where I work. MrClean and I don't text as often as you and your FWB do, but we see each other a bit more. I am the...
  10. J

    Devon GB

    Hello from the (currently cold and snowy, but previously sunny and warm) northeast! Welcome to the forum! I was fortunate in knowing poly/ENM was an option from the beginning (thanks to Heinlein), even though I am older than you, but that didn't always mean smooth sailing. OTOH, I never...
  11. J

    Sex advice for weight/mobility issues

    Great question! I am small and pretty short so straddling anyone other than my slender husband is a challenge because my knees don't hit the bed(floor, whatever). I am, however, very flexible. One of my fav positions is a bit hard to describe - we call it the "Lazy JaneQ" (maybe I should...
  12. J

    Are you into Relationship Collage or Relationship Complete?

    Collage. I am complete unto myself. I do not seek out people to fill "gaps". I accept people into my life that complement and add depth and texture to my life experience in mutually compatable ways. My needs are few. I am abundantly fortunate in that my relationships with others (friends...
  13. J

    Question for those in a monogamous relationship when ENM was first floated as an idea

    Why does she have to be unattached? (You aren't.) What if she is also "too much" for her partner(s) and needs more?
  14. J

    3 years of a turbulent polyam situation, feeling desperate and at a loss

    I'm glad that you have joined us in posting. I hope that you feel better for having the opportunity to let that all out. It sounds like you have been trying to hold onto all of the ropes and soothe ruffled feathers for some time now, and are exhausted. I am sorry that you are feeling so...
  15. J

    Swinging

    I am quite interested! But have not had the opportunity to attend an actual swingers event, just some "mixed" social events through PARG (Pittsburgh Alternative Relationships Group) and one mixed kinkster event (which I very much enjoyed but highlighted my ignorance as I discussed in my blog at...
  16. J

    My Old Flames Make My Heart Swoon (cont.)

    I :love: the beard care pampering story! It prompted me to post A Bedtime Story in my own blog. Suggestion: you could post a link to your intro thread here so that people can easily find the back story to your blog. (Also, note that in the Blogs section we are supposed to refrain from...
  17. J

    The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

    This is written in response to the sidebar in ZeroOnb's blog post: Beard Pampering https://polyamory.com/threads/my-old-flames-make-my-heart-swoon-cont.156089/#post-498046 I :love: the beard care pampering story! A Bedtime Story Setting: MrS and I had been married for 3 years (together...
  18. J

    ED and a sexless marriage

    The surgery for prostate cancer often damages some nerves in the genital area, which can lead to decreased sensation, decreased "responsiveness" (including erectile function), inability to orgasm, and/or urinary incontinence or retention. The OP reports that he is still able to orgasm, although...
  19. J

    BF and I just started Poly and he’s going away with someone this weekend.

    OMG, this sounds hideous-- for both of you. Maybe he learned/was trained by his previous relationships that the only way to make a woman happy is to "need" her 24/7? (How is his relationship with his mother?) Maybe what he actually "needs" is a woman to give him permission to struggle on his...
  20. J

    BF and I just started Poly and he’s going away with someone this weekend.

    Someone who wants a fun sexy weekend away with someone they are attracted to? A spontaneous person who is living in the moment and not looking for a long-term romance? A poly person who thinks that being in love with someone else is not a barrier to a meaningful relationship? Lots of people...
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