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  1. J

    things going great but....

    ive talked on here before but not for months. in my triad relstionship, ffm, i am the new comer, weve developed our relationship over the past nearly 2 years and its amazing alot of the time. weve all 3 dealt with some big issues, they just kept coming and the relationship kept evolving and...
  2. J

    time out

    for those of you who have followed any of my threads or posts you will know ive been struggling with different parts of my relationship, being in a triad with a married couple. ive choosen, finally, to have some time out in a nearby town in a house of some people i know who are away overseas...
  3. J

    the story of a secondary

    thankyou anna ☺
  4. J

    the story of a secondary

    just to add, for anyone who hasnt read my other posts, our relationship is supposed to be a triad, with me not as a secondary, im happy with this arrangement but at times feel like a secondary and feel lonely. bf tries really hard to support, love and care for me as an equal, and he makes me...
  5. J

    the story of a secondary

    i love reading your posts. i can relate to your thoughts alot. things are going well in some ways better some not as good. i can see how much my bf loves me and wants to keep me in his life forever. i always said to myself and them if i thought our relationship was putting a strain on their...
  6. J

    the story of a secondary

    go Anna!! xx
  7. J

    being a secret

    i agree, i sometimes think that this is not sustainable. and that i deserve to be in a relationship that isnt hidden.
  8. J

    being a secret

    they are lovely words. i do spend alot of time with their 4 boys and i am really close to the 2 youngest, they are all relaxed around me and used to seeing massages etc. my younger son lives with me every 2nd week and i have to be alot more careful when he around and my partners cant come into...
  9. J

    being a secret

    thankyou and yes i would like ideas on how to deal with the lonely feelings etc, my partners are very supportive and i do try hard normally to focus on the positive. but sometimes when my defences are low i.e overtired from nightshift i start to spiral downhill. at those low points i almost feel...
  10. J

    being a secret

    i live in their house as their best "friend" which is great but hardly anyone knows about the real us, in our small city it would be really shunned. and we dont want the kids to get bullied etc. its a hard one thats for sure.
  11. J

    being a secret

    has anyone got any suggestions on how i cope with the lonely feelings i get from being part of a 3 way relationship where i have to mainly remain a secret in public and in front of the kids, in fact alot of the time. i tell myself it doesnt matter, that what i get out of this relationship is way...
  12. J

    Sleeping Arrangements and Beds: Merged Threads, General Discussion

    Awesome stuff....thankyou, I will get on to this asap. And I'll let you know how it goes. Thanks so much. J
  13. J

    Sleeping Arrangements and Beds: Merged Threads, General Discussion

    Exactly! We live in a small country in a small city. With very small minded people around us. Although my 2 older chidren, aged 16 and 18, know (my daughter read my fb messages)! we all realise that for our extended family to find out about why I am here, other than a good friend, they wouldnt...
  14. J

    Sleeping Arrangements and Beds: Merged Threads, General Discussion

    I can see how this would seem this way to someone. But living in the situation and listening to the arguments and seeing the aftermaths of the arguments......and seeing the strain and stress on his face and in his behaviour, and making the decision with him that I need to move out and on for my...
  15. J

    Sleeping Arrangements and Beds: Merged Threads, General Discussion

    I have definately considered this......and I have talked about it to both of them. It has been a major concern for me, BUT only because for a few months she became very closed to me, she was really struggling with the change in her relationship. Id go as far as saying grieving for what she has...
  16. J

    Sleeping Arrangements and Beds: Merged Threads, General Discussion

    But i do agree annabel, it is very hard for me to live a lie to my family and friends
  17. J

    Sleeping Arrangements and Beds: Merged Threads, General Discussion

    We keep it a secret to protect the kids. I wish i didnt have to be that way.
  18. J

    the story of a secondary

    I completely relate to you. I am in a relationship with a married couple. I live with them in their home with their kids, and every second week, my son too. I have a space of my own downstairs. My girlfriend has had huge insecurities about this relationship but she doesnt want me to leave. I get...
  19. J

    Sleeping Arrangements and Beds: Merged Threads, General Discussion

    breakthrough While ive been away on holiday, without my partners ive communicated with my girlfriend about my needs. She seems alot more open to helping me. Ive said that at times i feel lonely and vunerable and on the outer of this relationship and often worried i am intruding on their...
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