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  1. crisare

    Link Posting

    I was told by the moderator to bring this up for discussion. I did so. Before I could even log on and check the official answer I was given a punitive warning and a nastygram from the Moderator. I wasn't even given a chance to read this and remove the links based on your ruling (which I...
  2. crisare

    Link Posting

    To be honest, I'd rather anything you have to say to me be made public, if you don't mind. You suggested to me that if I had a concern, that I address it in the rules, and so I'm following your advice. I'd rather not have my hand slapped again for following the suggestion you made in private...
  3. crisare

    Link Posting

    I would like to protest this rule. I got my hand slapped for linking to a site that sells sex toys in response to someone who said he was making that kind of (unique) sex toy and wanted to know people's thoughts on them. I have no affiliation with the business I linked, nor do I receive any...
  4. crisare

    A little odd: Handmade wooden . . . umm . . . toys

    Ok, that sounds really interesting. Definitely something my guy and I would try.
  5. crisare

    A little odd: Handmade wooden . . . umm . . . toys

    Bumpy and knobby works for me far more than slick and smooth. One thing .. I saw one somehwere (I don't remember if it was wood or not) that had a hole at one end where someone could hook a finger through ... to give a bit of a grip (esp if using lube) and some leverage.
  6. crisare

    A little odd: Handmade wooden . . . umm . . . toys

    Hee hee! The internet is my friend when it comes to shopping for certain things ... :D
  7. crisare

    looking for help with incompatible sexual tastes

    I'm runnign out the door right now and don't have time to put in a long response ... which I will later ... but I definitely understand your concerns better now. :) I'll tell you that right now I'm in a relationship with someone who swings with his wife. I don't swing - I'm like you and need...
  8. crisare

    looking for help with incompatible sexual tastes

    Hi and welcome to the board. :) I'm not really sure what kind of input to give necessarily, because I'm not quite sure what you're asking or what you want help with. It seems to me that you know that you and your husband view sexual connections differently and that you're open to discussing...
  9. crisare

    Wondering How To Go About This

    This. Yeah. Almost exactly. I'd also like to comment briefly on what you said: Being independent has nothing to do with making a "marriage-like commitment". If you find the right person/people at the right time, you can make a commitment and still be an independent person - because the...
  10. crisare

    NRE (New Relationship Energy) - Merged Threads, General Discussion

    I find that NRE comes and goes depending on who I'm with and who I'm talking to at the time. Right now I'm heavy in the throes of it with my new long-distance guy, but there's another guy at my office who has been kind of dancing around with me a little bit (and we're not even going to talk...
  11. crisare

    Theoretical vs reality

    Mono, you are brilliant and I love you! (um ... with all respect to redpepper, of course! :) ). Seriously that's the perfect way to phrase that.
  12. crisare

    Theoretical vs reality

    You're not. You're responsible for your own actions. And when you PARTICIPATE in a relationship that is a betrayal of another person's promises, trust, honesty, and openness, then you are equally a liar, a betrayer, and a cheater. Those are your actions and you *are* responsible for your...
  13. crisare

    Theoretical vs reality

    Thank you nikkiana - very well said. :)
  14. crisare

    today is going to be a very sad day for us

    I'm so sorry for your loss, Jools. My thoughts are with you, your family, and Samson today. I hope you got some time to hold him and have memories of him.
  15. crisare

    New and having some serious difficulty. Help

    Well ... here are my thoughts. Others will have different responses because they "define" poly differently. :) (Not to dredge that up here ... but it is key to why I respond the way I do to this post.) The thing is, *to me* (all disclaimers about your poly vs. my poly apply) your g/f going...
  16. crisare

    Theoretical vs reality

    Ah ... gotcha. I've never heard the word used in that sense. I've always heard cheater (the person doing the cheating) and cheatee (the victim of the cheating). Hm. I'm not *entirely* sure I agree with this. I would not have cheated on my husband if the person I had the affair with didn't...
  17. crisare

    Theoretical vs reality

    Oh also as far as removing this thread becuase it's not "about poly"? I disagree. Many people learn about poly because of an affair (I did). Many people think having an affair *is* poly. Discussing this here IS entirely 100% appropriate to this forum, IMO.
  18. crisare

    Theoretical vs reality

    Coupla thoughts .. and I'm going to quote a couple of people. IN the interests of full disclosure, my first relationship outside my marriage started as an affair. I did eventually tell my husband about it and my relationship with this person continued ... my husband and I separated for a while...
  19. crisare

    Just been asked to join a poly relationship...

    OOhhhh big red flags all over the place. The wife "proved" that there would be no jealousy? And how, pray tell, did she do that? Look, it's human nature to be jealous. My husband loves me and is perfectly ok with my seeing other men and developing a relationship with other men, but he...
  20. crisare

    Just been asked to join a poly relationship...

    Hm. I'm not sure what they mean by "joining" their poly relationship, but that seems awful fast to me. Building a relationship takes time. You meet each other. You date. You learn about each other. And then you decide if you're compatible and want to have a relationship together. IMO...
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