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  1. M

    Not sure what to do next.

    Thanks for the tip SeventhCrow Seriously, I want to thank you. I went onto OKC a few minutes after you suggested it, and not long after I posted my profile, I found myself in a wonderful conversation with a married, new to polyamory woman in my area. Both of us are dealing with some of the...
  2. M

    Not sure what to do next.

    very true YGirl I was alluding to a specific creep factor: the whole problem of being a non-creepy "married guy looking to meet someone" which is generally interpreted as the "married guy looking to cheat on his wife" creep. :P -M
  3. M

    Not sure what to do next.

    The issue of creepiness Actually, one of the hardest things about the whole reunion with dating is the whole issue of making sure I *don't* come off as a creep.
  4. M

    Not sure what to do next.

    Jumping down my throat... no I was wondering if I sounded kinda creepy, but I hope I clarified that. This isn't something that can have easy answers, especially when you factor in all the parties involved. I just feel like I'd be having a better time if this was something we were exploring...
  5. M

    Not sure what to do next.

    a few clarifications I had a hard time starting this post, and I had a feeling it wasn't going to come off as well as I had expected. "Filling the void" isn't necessarily accurate for us. When Alice is out, I'm at home with our child, and vice versa. Were childcare not an issue, I don't think...
  6. M

    Have you always known if you are mono or poly?

    I think I've always known I just didn't know it was okay, the aftermath of Southern upbringing. When I started looking back on my unsuccessful career as a monogamous, one relationship really started to stack up for me - my first. It was high school, and we were both really busy people and we...
  7. M

    Not sure what to do next.

    It has been a crazy road for the past few weeks. I stopped posting, but here I am again. I'm the married man in a recently-formed V-relationship with my wife Alice, and her lover Jim, who is a friend of mine. While I was toppled with a lot of exterior professional pressures for the past three...
  8. M

    Just a bookworm

    Great name. This Guybrarian approves.
  9. M

    how important is it that everyone be friends?

    No worries I wasn't trying to downplay it as a viable solution, nor was I insinuating that it was a problem that needed to be solved for you. I'm in no way an expert on this situation.
  10. M

    So. A little envious?

    Mac: I'm really understanding your situation as it was really the only thing I was worried about after we decided to romantically pursue other people. I'm in Eugene, and I'm finding a lot of people around me are very keen on what is going on in my wife and I's relationship as we are kind of...
  11. M

    Figuring myself out

    What a great thought As someone who worked in divorce law (divorce scares the hell outta me because of what I saw), I really wish that I'd learned that quote while I was working in the field.
  12. M

    Invited husband and lover to forums

    Sorry this has been rough I will say though, my wife and I have alluded all of this for years, and we had some flirting model that was a great placeholder, but we never wanted to make things too complicated for either of us, plus the place where we lived would not have been conducive to this...
  13. M

    Total Reprogramming

    RP: I have to say that this is my planned approach too. I don't want to waste a lot of time skirting the issue and it is an intense issue, but I hope that my personality and my body language are able to deliver that issue well. Furthermore, I'd hate to ask someone out and then after they say...
  14. M

    Paradigm Shift to Polyamory

    A tangled web I weave Update only 30 minutes after my last post! This is some weird serendipity: I'm watching something and I get a text at 3 a.m. Its from Celine, the girl I can't get out of my head, asking, "What are you doing up at 3 in the morning?" and so, instead of trying to text her...
  15. M

    Paradigm Shift to Polyamory

    Update A few things are on my mind. Alice and I were, first-and-foremost, friends for several years before we dated. We talked about the most intricate of things about our relationships with other people. Now, I find myself extremely interested in the success of her emotional tie in her other...
  16. M

    Total Reprogramming

    Beat & Pepper Beat: I just want you to know, I'm your age, and this is AS new. Maybe a week. But I've embraced that attitude almost instantly. I am as happy as can be right now. This will work out and be grand and yes, I've already grown in many ways since I found an ideal that worked for me...
  17. M

    Paradigm Shift to Polyamory

    Another nugget of humor from yesterday evening Alice came home as Sally was walking out the door. After Sal left, we talked for about an hour, which was amazing. We talked about a few issues, especially the ones covered by Sally during my night's conversation. We came upon a topic that Sal...
  18. M

    "What does a single gal like me get out of dating a married man like you?"

    BEXY and BEN: Thanks for the sound advice! Awesome addition to this thread.
  19. M

    Total Reprogramming

    Red Pepper: I really think we kinda grok about the whole total disclosure thing.
  20. M

    "What does a single gal like me get out of dating a married man like you?"

    I do what I can *clinking of glasses* Cheers.
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