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  1. R

    My long poly journey and life in general

    TRIGGER WARNING******** Well this escalated quickly. I was going to leave this be, but I need to be honest with myself and anyone who is reading this, in case they need to read it. The boundary crossing that I'm referring to is sexual assault. In the context of a marriage. Husband moves...
  2. R

    My long poly journey and life in general

    Yes absolutely, would have been better to do this first. I didn't foresee how this was going to shake out and settle. We (Fox and I-- I gave my partners nicknames-- see sig) have a marriage therapy appt. today to talk about it with a poly-understanding therapist.
  3. R

    My long poly journey and life in general

    Thank you I will do that. Makes sense!
  4. R

    Poly-Friendly Christians?

    Oh how interesting! Wow! We belong to a church called The Well that does indeed embrace everyone in love. It's a very small church that meets in a school auditorium. They have sermons on-line too. The bigger churches may feel that they can't endorse because of donations. I'm going to read the...
  5. R

    Poly-Friendly Christians?

    I think gay-trans-etc affirming Christian churches would also be accepting of poly.
  6. R

    My long poly journey and life in general

    Today is Sunday again. Last week was a cooperative, sometimes sad, sometimes healing week. H an I moved furniture around to each make our own spaces within our home. It's a split floor plan, so he gets the two smaller bedrooms (used to be kid rooms) and that associated bathroom and the hallway...
  7. R

    My long poly journey and life in general

    Thank you for listening. I'm so grateful for this forum providing a safe space in which to tell my story and feelings.
  8. R

    My long poly journey and life in general

    Today was sad. After the wonderful weekend, my husband broke a boundary again. It is just the way he's wired. But it was the straw that broke the camel's back. It was not a big thing compared to all the stuff that happened in the throes of mental illness. It was a small thing, but representative...
  9. R

    Control vs. respect: spouse vs. partner

    We had a wonderful time Saturday night and Sunday morning! We ate dinner, played games, and ate breakfast together the next morning. The mood was very good. :-)
  10. R

    My long poly journey and life in general

    Wow, we have come so far! Last night Partner came over, we all made dinner together and ate together. Then after the kiddo went to bed, we all three played a couple of games, with lots of joking and laughing. Note: The Game of Real Life is so fun and lots of laughs! I kissed Husband goodnight...
  11. R

    My long poly journey and life in general

    So, the planned overnight didn't happen. That day I made the mistake of getting up early and cleaning the house. I do that every Saturday, but this day Husband was seeing things in the light that I was cleaning to make it nice for Partner. He was also hypomanic, and had been for a few days. Very...
  12. R

    Contingent on metamour!?!

    I'm so so sorry you are hurting. I'm SO glad you broke it off with him! We have all been there, with the pain of breaking up. If you need to talk you have a big group of internet strangers to keep telling you that you deserve better. You deserve to sit at the table, not be dealt table scraps...
  13. R

    Contingent on metamour!?!

    Have you all sat down together to talk about this? Or at least a group text about it? You deserve better. And it sounds like he's the one making those decisions to have his time with you when his wife is occupied. You deserve to have at least some regular standing dates and times with him. I...
  14. R

    Triad advice

    This does not sound healthy at all. Your feelings are being hurt, you are not okay with some of this. Your feelings matter. Your needs matter. Every poly situation is different, but if it's ethical, you would feel secure, valued, and respected. It may not be about quantity of time, but rather...
  15. R

    New to This

    I was going to suggest looking for an ethical poly meet up group in your area. Everyone there would already know about the poly bit. Then you can proceed with meeting people. My poly group has different events that appeal to different interests. I'm sure you could go to a nerdy event and at the...
  16. R

    Control vs. respect: spouse vs. partner

    Than you, I will order it!
  17. R

    Feeling deprioritized in newish relationship with married partner

    I have not read the entire thread, but I do want to commend you for painting a very clear picture of the situation. You sound experienced and reasonable. Some thoughts on this-- -- It sounds like the three of you need to sit down and talk this out. -- It sounds like Sam needs to turn off his...
  18. R

    Control vs. respect: spouse vs. partner

    Update--- things have been going great! Thank you for the advice! We had dinner together all of us, and it went as well as it could. Husband was sa bit reserved but trying. I have a "type" so the two men had quite a bit in common. Last Saturday Partner was supposed to sleep over, in my office...
  19. R

    Don't know what to do

    I just wanted to address your anxiety for post-surgery. I'm a nurse. I used to work with kids who went through tonsil surgeries. It doesn't have to be the hell of recovery you envision. It will be hardest for about 3 days, then it will get better. If you tell your doctor ahead of time about your...
  20. R

    Newly dating Poly girlfriend - unsure

    Great advice above! It might be good for you both to write your own lists of what are the most important things to you in a poly relationship. Then distinguish between things you would love to have if it all works out, and things you require. One of my requirements (rules), for example, is...
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