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  1. ladyjools

    Poly Math

    ok this thread makes my brain explode lol!
  2. ladyjools


    her reading this would def be useful, i don't like being given a curfew so i can relate to her point of view, however i also understand first couple of dates with a new partner checking in at least seems like a good idea, when i went on first date with R i made sure to text C and tell him...
  3. ladyjools

    downsides to polyamory

    I agree that other peoples attatudes is a downside. I try not to care what people think but there are times when someone has said something really hurtful, iv been called a whore lots since coming out, and greedy and iv had people not respect my relationships and see them as casual when infact...
  4. ladyjools

    downsides to polyamory

    What do you think they are, i think i often go on about how great it is, and it is great for me but everything has some bad points, my issue mainly Time, (not having enough of it) and how compliated it can get to manage it. Jools
  5. ladyjools

    Discussion: Who is expected to change in a mono+poly relationship

    I wanted to add here, that what i feel for each of my partners is unique and diffrent so i can honestly turn around to R and say that "I have never felt this way about anyone before" becuase i mean it, even if i am in love with C what i feel for them both is so diffrent, didn't someone make...
  6. ladyjools

    does it have a name?

    i agree with everyone else, if it doesn't feel right you need to have enough respect for yourself to say no, if he loves you and she respects and care about you like they should then this should not be something you are made to do, Jools
  7. ladyjools

    Questions people ask and how do you answer them?

    lovingradiance can i quote some of what you said here in my blog? i love your check list :) i wasn't meaning to ask you what you would do if someone asked you about the kids question obviously they wouldn't its just that i see that i get asked this a lot myself and i was more pondering over...
  8. ladyjools

    Questions people ask and how do you answer them?

    I'm writing my latest blog on this and thought id see what you guys had to say, the most common question i get asked in regards to polyamory is Don't you get jelous? How do you deal with Jelousy? Isn't one enough? Where does everyone sleep? What will you do when you have kids? im sure there...
  9. ladyjools

    Discussion: Who is expected to change in a mono+poly relationship

    i will answer this from my personnal situation, i asked him to open up and be poly because i realised that i could not imagine spending my life monogomous, i was not willing to sacrafice that part of myself and i was willing to give up a romantic relationship with him if it meant i had to do...
  10. ladyjools

    A Polyamory Paradox

    For me it isn't about what is enough or who meets all my needs, you could ask the same question about a couple who choose to have more than one child, you could say how many mothers out there would have a second child if the first met all there needs, and does that make any sense? When you...
  11. ladyjools

    Is there ever a time when life is just normal?

    I didn't have time to read what everyone else has said so only skimmed through but wanted to let you know that I can understand what you mean in regards to the issues around the past i have some very serious abuse in my past and it can be really difficult for me to trust someone sexually, it...
  12. ladyjools

    A Polyamory Paradox

    I think a lot of the negative remarks about monogomy come after monogomous people try to ram there view point that what we are doing is wrong down our throut, i hear it over and over again and sometimes every so often i want to scream at them that they are all wrong and im right, na na na...
  13. ladyjools

    Coming out

    We are out with everyone we know, and i mean everyone from my gran, to the people i work with. It has not been easy but at same time it does have its rewards. I feel far more free knowing that everyone knows and im not trying to keep it a secret like its something i should be ashamed off, i...
  14. ladyjools

    just trying to get some honest input

    this sounds like my worse nightmare i totally understand where you are coming from. It feels like he is trying to smother who you are and i find that hard to understand considering you where poly from the start and are continuing to be honest with him you really need to find out why he feels...
  15. ladyjools

    Multi-partner co-habitation

    I'd love my own room but at the moment we can't afford a bigger place, we have a 2 and half bedroom flat :) the half bedroom is so small you couldn't fit a bed in so we use it as a study, chris and rick both have there rooms and so when im not with them they get time alone, so its not exactly...
  16. ladyjools

    Multi-partner co-habitation

    I've not been around much due to being exceptionally busy, but when i read this i just wanted to respond and share my positive experience, i was very wary of R moving in because I am very aware that living together is a big step and it doesn't work for everyone but for us it just felt right...
  17. ladyjools

    Article Submissions maybe my first blog entry might be useful? Jools
  18. ladyjools

    Primary/Secondary: Merged Threads, General Discussion / Debate

    this is exactly how i see it mono :) and its why im so wary of using that label because i think its so often confused if i say secondary that someone would think that id treat the person as such. For me there are only real people with real feelings needs and wants and not labels. Each...
  19. ladyjools


    Do you think so, im curious about this i often wonder if i did not have DID if i would think about things like this the same way. In a sense i am already able to comunicate and share the men i am in love with the other parts and so maybe it makes it easier to imagine i can share with people...
  20. ladyjools

    positive poly parenting

    found this post really useful, people know we plan on starting a family and i often get some narrow remarks about how we would have to settle down and give up this way of life because its not healthy, trying to explain that polyamory can be a positive healthy way of life even with children is...